Never Tickle A Sleeping Dragon (Chapter Four)

I had only counted the first fifty-six bricks on the east wall when Draco Malfoy finally decided it was time to wake up. 1

“Thank Merlin!” I cry, jumping out of the armchair I was sitting in and throwing myself in his direction. “Bet starts today! Do you – What the hell happened to you?” He gives me a very dark look and mutters something I couldn’t really understand. 2

“Do I really look that bad?” he asks worriedly, trying to smooth down his bleach-blonde hair, which is sticking up in all directions.3

“Ermm…” 4

“I’m going to have a shower,” 5

“What, you’re going to miss breakfast!?” 6

“Yes, Margot, I’m going to miss breakfast,” I can’t believe it. He’s gone insane. I mean, I’m not even much of a fan of breakfast, but there’s so much food! Plus, I’ve been awake for long enough (a miracle, that) that I’m properly hungry. He walks back into his dorm. 7

“You can’t just leave me – AND BREAKFAST – to rot!” I cry, chasing after him. I follow him into his dorm (which looks remarkably different since the last time I saw it. Which is odd, considering it was only a week ago). “DRACO!” He completely ignores and actually starts undressing. That’s how bloody stubborn he is – fuck, he looks good without a shirt on. MARGOT, MOVING ON!8

“I’m taking my trousers off in three seconds,” he warns me, giving me the ‘you can’t have your way’ look.9

“Fine,” I shrug. “Take them off.” I really hope he doesn’t listen to me. Unfortunately he does, and he has really cool knickers. They’re lime green.10

“Alright, I’m officially in love with your pants!” I proclaim, much to Draco’s amusement. 11

“They’re coming off in three seconds,” I shrug again. He sighs and ACTUALLY TAKES OFF HIS PANTS!12

“EWEWEWEWEW!” I cry, throwing my hands over my hands over my eyes and running from the dorm. I hear him chuckling as I go. Bastard.13

I arrive at breakfast later than I would have liked, and most of the Slytherin table (which is awkward enough to sit at by yourself) is filled with irritated students. I scan the table for someone I know (and don’t completely despise). The only person I would even attempt to sit with is Blaise, and, let’s face it, I’d rather sit with Hermione Granger. I might as well just skip breakfast – hold on! There, sitting at the far end of the Slytherin table with a bunch of muscular classmates, is The Viktor Krum. Time to make my move. I’m pretty sure my sudden outburst of hysterical laughter caused by the choice of phrases being used inside my head is scaring absolutely everyone, but if they weren’t scared of me before hand I don’t think anything could possibly scare them now. I sit casually down next to Krum, barely suppressing a fit of giggles. Or, well, more like incessant laughter. I don’t giggle.14

“Hello,” Krum says to me.15

“Hi,” I say awkwardly, buttering my toast with well-trained speed.16

“I’m Viktor Krum,” No duh. 17

“I’m Margot,” Would you like to ask me to the Yule Ball? He smiles in a weird foreign sort of way (I’m not racist, okay?).18

“Marhgot,” he repeats. He pronounces it sort of funny, but I kindly overlook it. I shove the toast into my mouth (I’m hungry, okay?) and work on buttering my second piece, that is, I was until Krum interrupted me again. 19

“You’re in Slytherin?” No, I’m just sitting at this table because it has the best toast.20

“Mhmm,” I say, my mouth full.21

“Who do you want to win the Tournament?” Okay, honestly, I’m having doubts about this whole bet thing. I’m barely able to restrain myself from punching him in the face, and I’ve been here for less than ten minutes.22

“Irunno, eh-yunbuttPurr,” Note to self: swallow before answering question. “I said, I dunno, anyone but Potter,”23

“You don’t like Potter?”24

“I don’t like how he’s always the main event, that’s all,” 25

“I – “ Krum is interrupted by the bell for the start of class and I jump up, shoving my last piece of toast into my mouth. “Goodbye!”26

“Byrr,” I don’t have to swallow before leaving, alright?27

I burst into class five minutes late. Flitwick gives me ‘the teacher look’.28

“You’re late, Ms. Laliberte Else,” God, my name is way too long for casual conversation.29

“I know, sorry,” I mumble, quickly taking my usual seat next to Draco, who looks much better after his breakfast-skipping shower.30

“As I was saying,” Flitwick continued. “The levitating charm is both useful and important!”31

“OW!” 32

“Is there a problem?” I rub my sore rib and try not to crumple under Flitwick’s ‘teacher glare’.33

“No, Professor,” 34

“Good. Now, you must pay close attention the hand movements, which are easily confused with those from the ‘Duro’ spell…” Glaring at Draco for elbowing me, I picked up the note.35

'How was breakfast?' I glare at him again and write a reply.36

'Lovely. I met Viktor Krum. He wouldn’t leave me alone, actually. How was your shower?' Now it’s his turn to glare.37

'Absolutely wonderful.' This boy is painfully irritating –38

“MS. LALIBERTE ELSE! THIS IS THE THIRD TIME YOU HAVE DISRUPTED THE CLASS TODAY!”39

“I’m sorry,”40

“You can be sorry in detention!” Draco snickers. “And you too, Mr. Malfoy!” My turn to snicker now, pretty boy.41

“Where is that kid?” I demand the wall (which has 627 bricks, by the way). “DRACO!” Absolutely no one replies, so, for the second time that day, I barge into the fourth year boys’ dormitory.42

“Draco Malfoy, I am going to kill – “ Oh my god. I stop dead in my tracks, staring at the bizarre scene in front of me. Crabbe and Goyle, snogging. There’s this horrid moment of silence where we all just stare at each other, and then I start to laugh.43

“BBAHAHAHAHABHAHAVHABHABAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA!” I have fallen to the floor and am laughing so hard I can’t breathe. Honestly, if I’m not rescued in the next two minutes, I will die. “YOU – gasp – AND YOU – gasp – AHAHAHAHHAHAHA!” It’s so funny I actually think I’m going to barf… well, the barfing might be because CRABBE and GOYLE were SNOGGING, but still. Can’t. Breathe. Can’t. Think. Too. Funny.44

“Up you get!” I look around wildly, wondering who the hell just lifted me to my feet. If it’s Crabbe or Goyle, I definitely will vomit. Luckily for me (and the floor), it’s Draco Malfoy who I’m leaning against for support.45

“THEY – gasp – KISSING – gasp – AND – BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA!” Draco’s face is full of disgust.46

“Ew,” 47

“Funny,” I say, my laughter finally dying down. Thank Merlin.48

“We should go,” Draco says, cautiously letting go of me (as though I might collapse in another fit of hysterical laughter). “Leave them in peace.” I chuckle as we exit, heading for our detention scrubbing toilets in – you guessed it – Moaning Murtle’s lavatory. 49

“WAAAAAHHH!” I wince as Draco pushes open the door. Moaning Murtle is sitting atop the sinks, wailing.50

“Hullo Murtle,” Draco mumbles.51

“ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME!?” she cries, leaping from her perch and circling upwards until she’s nearly through the ceiling. “There’s Murtle! Crying, AS USUAL!”52

“I wasn’t making fun,” Draco said, a smirk playing at his lips.53

“YOU ARE! YOU’RE HORRID!” She swooped down, purposely flew through Draco, then plunged into the depths of a toilet, her shrieks echoing throughout the pipes. 54

“And we have to clean those,” I complain, putting down the cleaning products I was carrying. Draco grimaced as he scrubbed a mildew-y toilet bowl.55

“So I met Fleur today,” he commented, a poorly suppressed smile visible on his smug face.56

“You did not,”57

“I did!” I gave him a look.58

“You actually met her? Like, face to face, Hi I’m Dumb, sort of meet?” He nodded. “And?”59

“It went quite well, I think. I mean, she didn’t ask me numerous pointless questions,” I shot him a glare over the mouldy toilet seat. “But she seemed to think me charming.”60

“So, basically it’s true what they say about pretty, blonde girls...” He splashes Murtle-Germed water at me. FROM THE TOILET. “Bitch!”61

“Yes,” he says calmly, ducking as I throw a sponge at his face. “They do have good taste.”62