Never Tickle A Sleeping Dragon (Chapter One)

Never Tickle A Sleeping Dragon1

How random is that. That’s what those unknown words on the bottom of our crest mean. I mean, come on, who came up with that? The four founders are just sitting around planning their school when all of a sudden one of them says ‘Hey! Let’s have Never Tickle A Sleeping Dragon on the bottom of our crest! And let’s have it in Latin!’ I always thought it would be something that actually made sense. Like it was some foreign language for Serpent, Raven, Badger, and Lion or something. At least I got a kick out of Draco Malfoy’s face when he heard the news. He’s always boasting about his name being on our crest. He kind of got over it, though. Now he’s going on about not tickling him while he’s sleeping.2

“Ms. Laliberte Else!” Oh my, it’s Mme Pomfrey. Running after me like some kind of lunatic. Wasting her breath by calling out my last name. You’d think she’d leave me alone, since I’ve been out of the Hospital Wing for a week and a half. But no, she persists in following me around, badgering me about my effing potions and trying to get me to come back to the Hospital Wing for a “check up” (notice my quotations). Because of her constant “visits” (otherwise known as stalking me) I have recently been spending a lot of time hiding in bathroom stalls. Ah, look, it’s Draco Malfoy! 3

“Hello Draco.” I say, coming to a stop next to him and Crabbe and Goyle (why he hangs out with them is beyond me).4

“Hello Marg - ”5

“MISS LALIBERTE ELSE!” Oh, God. WHY??6

“Er - you have a matron running after you,” says Draco unhelpfully. I glare at him. Mme Pomfrey finally reaches me. She grabs my arm, as if insuring I can’t get away (even though I can, she only has hold of my left arm and I am right-handed and armed).7

“Have you taken your potion?” she asks through pants (and no, I do not mean she has knickers over her mouth).8

“Yes.”9

“Good, good.” She’s still holding my arm… and still panting. Someone her age should not be chasing after me. Draco is almost definitely trying to suppress a snort.10

“Hmmm… you haven’t had a check up in quite awhile.” I AM NOT GOING BACK TO THE EFFING HOSPITAL WING! “Yes, it has been awhile…” I swear, if she tries to drag me down for a “check up” I will jinx her so badly she will have to check herself into the Hospital Wing. 11

“I’m fine, Mme. Pomfrey, honestly.” 12

“Hmm… Well I suppose you could have a check up a different day, if you’re sure you’re feeling well,” she says reluctantly.13

“Yes, I’m fine.”14

“Very well.” Oh thank God. She’s finally let go of my arm. Now she’s walking away. I turn back to Draco.15

“I effing hate that woman!” I hiss. “What is her problem?” Draco shrugs. That boy is silent at the best of times. Now, before you go getting all prejudice on me, I must make a couple things clear. Yes, I am friends with Draco Malfoy. Yes, I am a Slytherin. But I have nothing against Gryffindors (-well, not that much-) or muggle-borns and I do not support You-Know-Who. Draco Malfoy isn’t actually as much of a prick as he makes out to be. He’s arrogant, I admit. And he is your typical Slytherin, but that’s because he was raised that way. I am a muggle-born, and I’m one of his best friends. Shows you something, doesn’t it? 16

“Else!”17

“NEVER TICKLE A SLEEPING DRAGON!” Ha! Erin Turner is confused! Stupid Prick goes about calling me Else. Call me Margot, or Laliberte Else (I prefer Margot). Do not call me Else. I think he does it just to bug me. 18

“Yeah…” he says, shaking away my comment. “Do you want to go to the Ball with me?” Oh God, the Yule Ball. Stupid Turner has such an arrogant grin on. He thinks I’m going to accept.19

“No.” Ha! His face is priceless. His eyes bulged for a second and his mouth fell open, then he snapped it shut.20

“Why not?”21

“Why would I?” I raise my eyebrows before turning back to Draco. We reach the Transfiguration classroom and take our usual seats. It’s with the Gryffindors today. Should be fun. 22

*23

“Piss off!” I cry. Honestly, my life is like a bloody soap opera. 24

“Piss off!” mimics Hilary Snow in a falsely high voice I’m positive my voice sounds nothing like. People think us Slytherins are the bad guys! Snow smirks at me with the “I know I’m getting on your nerves” smirk I so greatly despise. I draw my wand. “Ooooh!25

“Else wants to fight!” In the name of Merlin’s baggiest Y-fronts. Why the bloody hell do I have to deal with her!? McGonnagall is gone for 5 bloody seconds and I’m already being tormented by the ugly prick. She casually draws her wand with a sort of “Do I really have to fight again? I’m getting bored of beating you” look. As if I couldn’t hex her stupid face off.26

“Arazano Flari!” I cry. A jet of purple light shoots from my wand and zooms towards her. She dodges it, and it shatters some glass aquarium that was holding Who Knows What type of animal. 27

“Aqua Silotria! - ” 28

“Ms. Snow!” cries Professor McGonnagall. Crap. “Ms. Laliberte Else! What is going on here!?” Fuck . Stupid Snow. 29

“Detention! The both of you! I will see you in my office at 6 o’clock sharp! Do you understand me!?” 30

“Yes, Professor,” Snow and I both grumble. I sit grudgingly down at my seat. That stupid wanker! Can’t she just die!? Draco sits on my desk, after just returning from the loo.31

“So, what did I miss?” I glare at him. This boy clearly needs a good whack upside the head.32

****33

A/N: alright. i know this seems really quite lame, and it's short and choppy and such, but please oh please bear with me.