Chapter 36 Hope

Hope.1

Hope.2

I pray one day the chains will release,3

On this pain so deep and bring me peace.4

A peace so pure, a calm of mind.5

A hope that soon, I will find.6

Believe.7

I never imagined I could see past my pain.8

I never believed I would release all my shame.9

But one day I realised these were not mine to keep,10

For they were forced upon me, but now I can I speak.11

Speak of the abuse and the secrets so hidden.12

Speak the words that so long were forbidden.13

For as a child you never gave me a choice,14

But now as an adult, I have a voice.15

Now a survivor of abuse I can be,16

As I open my eyes and truly see.17

That my life does not have to fall in pain,18

And I should not have to hide away in shame.19

For shame is something he should bare,20

As I reveal the secret and let the whole world share,21

The torture that kept me so afraid,22

And the pain of abuse that evil has made.23

So this is my story of freedom from pain.24

Of hope and power and how to break the chain,25

That locks up secrets buried so deep,26

That now I no longer have to keep.27

Dreams.28

I never dreamt of a future before,29

For the pain of my day was all that I saw,30

But now I have been given a new life and freed my soul,31

I now want so much, I want to be whole.32

I want a family of my own.33

I want a marriage where love and trust can be shown.34

I want to look forward, plan for ahead.35

I want to live a life, not wishing I were dead.36

I want to see the world and all the beauty it contains.37

I want to be inspired to write so something of me can always remain.38

I want to be the person I always should have been.39

I want to have a future, I want to aim for my dream.40

It should not be much to ask for I have already paid my price,41

And now it is my turn to have a happy life.42

So today is where happiness starts and where I lay to rest his sins.43

Here’s to today, here is where my life begins.44

Fly Away.45

Far away is where I want to be.46

Far away where I can be free.47

Living as one, my true, pure soul.48

Living my dreams of being completely whole.49

So I pack my bag, my tatty old case,50

Put it in my car with a smile on my face,51

For I know I am doing what is best.52

Putting my childhood and past to rest.53

I am moving on, new future, new dreams.54

I am going on a search for what my life means,55

For it is now in my control, I have a say,56

Of what I do from day to day.57

So I start my car and fly away.58

I pray to my angel that with me she will stay,59

So that I am never alone in the new life that I find,60

And I will be free to heal my body, soul and mind.61

My Happiness.62

My happiness is being able to cry a tear.63

To go to sleep at night and not have nightmares to fear.64

To walk down the street and notice the sky,65

And to get over my past, to say goodbye.66

My happiness is looking at my engagement ring,67

And see all the beauty my relationship will bring.68

To wake in the morning and know I have the safety of my own home,69

And to smile at my stomach and know I have created a family of my own.70

My happiness is writing, performing my art.71

Knowing it is a gift from my soul and my heart,72

And seeing others smile and feel inspired by what I write,73

Or gain a determination or a strength to fight.74