Chapter 26 Confidence

Confidence.1

Inspired.2

Today I have the strength that will make me fight.3

Today the darkness has lifted, I can walk in the light.4

Today I have the confidence to hold my head up high,5

For today I want to live, I don’t want to die.6

What is Confidence?7

My confidence was taken against my will,8

And it left a big hole that only characters could fill.9

But now I am myself, I have to find a way,10

To build up some confidence that is strong enough to stay.11

But what is confidence? Do I even know?12

What is the confidence that I need to show?13

Is it happy, assertive and strong?14

Is it the strength to keep me fighting on?15

I know I feel happy when I am looking good.16

And when my inspiring thoughts are working as they should.17

When I achieved a small step to move me on,18

And when my hope gets stronger that I can make my past be gone.19

Characters.20

I built a fake character to show my confident side,21

That was happy and bubbly and did not have to hide.22

She sang on a stage, she danced all night.23

She always had a smile until anger began to fight.24

Then my anger won and took over the role.25

She became moody and selfish and my smile she stole.26

She became my character for so many years,27

Until she broke down and cried her tears.28

Now I am me and I do not know how to be,29

For I am neither happy nor angry, I do not know who is me.30

I have never been myself before,31

So I have to unleash me, for inside there is so much more.32

Wish.33

I know I want to do something with my life,34

For if I did not, I would have died by my knife.35

But what is it I am searching for?36

Where in life is my next door.37

The door that opens a challenge for me,38

That leads me on to who I want to be.39

For at the moment my confidence has gone,40

And at the moment something is very wrong.41

I wish I knew what my soul wanted to do.42

I wish I could cope, I wish I had the confidence to,43

To do anything I dream of, to be truly me,44

And live my life happy and free.45

Confidence.46

I feel confidence when people listen to what I say.47

When I feel in control of my day.48

When I am looking good and have a smile on my face.49

When I feel I belong within this place.50

I feel confident when I know I have done good.51

When I am motivated and inspired as I should.52

When I have achieved another of my dreams,53

And when I know I am a step closer to what my life means.54

I feel confident when I awake positive for my day.55

When I am free to do anything that comes my way,56

Without rules or restrictions or others control.57

When I feel inspired and free to live from my soul. 58

I feel confident when my emotions are stable inside.59

When I do not have to breakdown, run away or hide.60

When I am feeling calm and happy within.61

When I am relaxed and stable, not thinking of him.62

I feel confident when I have taken control,63

And moved a step closer to a goal.64

When I see the future I have planned for me.65

When I am one step closer to becoming me.66

I feel confident when I feel I can win,67

The awesome battle I fight against him.68

When I release another secret or cry another tear,69

Or give up an addiction, or battle another fear.70

I feel confident that I am going to be,71

Happy and healthy and living as me.72

I will wake each day and smile from my soul,73

For I am going to be happy for I have taken back my control.74

Take Care.75

Make yourself look good, put a smile on your face.76

Show all these people that you belong in this place.77

Hold your body with confidence, be focused on your way,78

And see how amazing you feel day after day.79

Use anger as determination, focus and fight.80

Use sadness as a hope to bring you some light.81

Use shame to learn how to laugh and smile.82

Use loneliness to learn how sit with yourself a while.83

Take care of your body, treat it right,84

For it has to withstand this life’s cruel fight.85

Take care of your mind, relax and unwind,86

And the secrets of your soul, you will surely find.87

Inspired.88

Today I have the strength that will make me fight.89

Today the darkness has lifted, I can walk in the light.90

Today I have the confidence to hold my head up high.91

Today I want to live. I don’t what to die.92

Today I feel inspired, I am going to have a good day.93

Today I am happy and that is how it’s going to stay.94

Today I am going to look good and put a smile on my face.95

Today I am going to fit in, I am going to belong in this place.96

Today I feel positive to live this day.97

Today I am going to work hard in every way.98

Today I feel alive. I feel like me.99

Today I like myself. Today I am free.100

Me.101

Independence I have gained, I am finding my way.102

Learning to take care of myself every day.103

With good friends around me to take care of my soul.104

Kind people around, giving me back what he stole.105

A life I have that is truly mine.106

A future I have, so much time.107

To find my path, to truly be,108

Rid of his touch and be so beautifully free.109

I am me, I have a name.110

I no longer have to hide away in pain.111

For my soul is free, my words have been spoken.112

And I am living a life that is no longer broken.113

Strong.114

Your confidence is still very low,115

But now is the time to help it grow,116

For all the hard work has now been done.117

So go out there, go have some fun.118

Find that smile that once shone so bright.119

Relax for a while, you no longer have to fight.120

Just take care of your body, mind and soul,121

And believe in your strength, for you are in control.122

Make some dreams, face some fears.123

It is time to start living for your future years.124

For you deserve to be happy and making the most of being alive,125

And keep the hope that you are strong enough to survive.126

Proud.127

I cannot believe that you can’t see,128

How proud of yourself you should be.129

For not only have you battled with the past abuse,130

You have actually put your healing to good use.131

You have found a special way to cope,132

That could bring others a little hope.133

And you have fought all the addictions that tainted your way,134

And spoken the secrets that were locked so deeply away.135

You have always held on tight to something more that can be seen,136

Even though so much of your life has been so mean.137

And you have never given up, you have always made it through.138

Now its time you saw the beauty and strength inside of you.139

Positive Voices.140

My positive voices tell me to try.141

They tell me to always question why.142

Why I think I need an addiction to get me through my day?143

Why I do not think that without them, I will be ok.144

They tell me to take care of myself every day.145

To make me feel more confident in every way.146

They tell me to relax when my day gets too much.147

They tell me to face my past, to recover from his touch.148

They tell me I can be very strong,149

For I have been hurt, yet I somehow carried on.150

They tell me to aim for a future that can be mine.151

They tell me to just do it slowly, to take my time.152

They tell me to take a small step each and every day,153

And before long everything will be ok.154

And they tell me I am as good as everyone else.155

I just have to find some belief in myself.156

Today.157

Some days I wake and see the world as bad.158

These are the days where everything seems sad.159

I cannot be happy, I feel the darkness within.160

These are the days that I am controlled by him.161

Some days I wake and feel inspired within.162

I love these days, for I am confident I can win.163

I can stay positive and see only good.164

These are the days that I see as I should.165

Some days I wake and chaos is all I can see.166

These are the days that I ma not me.167

I drift in and out, I disconnect from my shell.168

These are the days that I am not very well.169

Today I want to wake and feel I belong.170

I am going to work hard so that soon you will be gone.171

For today I am positive that you have to go.172

Today I am inspired to let my true soul show.173