Chapter 13 Breaking Barriers

Breaking Barriers.1

Breaking Barriers.2

I am going to do this, I am going to work hard,3

To let others help me, to let down my guard.4

For I don’t want to be controlled by you anymore,5

So I am going deeper, I am opening another door.6

Unfold.7

Look in the mirror. Look and see.8

Look through your eyes, can you find me?9

Can you see, I’m hidden away?10

Can you help me find my way?11

I feel trapped inside, not able to break free.12

For there are too many barriers surrounding me.13

But I can help you, if you just let me in.14

I can help you release his sin.15

I am the one who you locked away.16

I am the one with the secrets to say.17

I am the child he hurt so small,18

And I am the one who should fight it all.19

You are the character made to look right.20

You are my anger, you are ready to fight.21

But I am your tears that you need to cry.22

I hold the pain, but I have no wish to die.23

I can help you rid him from your soul.24

I can give you back so much that he stole.25

For I can bring you happiness, I can break down your guard.26

I can let you be free, so life is not so hard.27

For I remember who I was before he tainted my soul.28

But you have forgotten because you are still under his control.29

But I stayed a child, deep inside.30

And now it’s time to break you down, so I no longer have to hide.31

So let yourself go, let your tears fall.32

You were not made to handle it all.33

For that is why you hid me, until it was the time,34

To move on with life and be over his crime.35

Don’t you see, that time is here.36

Can’t you see all the dreams of life are near.37

I have to let you go, you can be cried away.38

And then the barriers can be gone and I can have my say.39

Barriers.40

Barriers surround and protect my soul.41

They are built so thick, to keep me in control.42

For if they were not their, I would break down and cry,43

And I would feel so much pain that I would want to die.44

But if I break them down, one at a time,45

I know that one day everything will be fine.46

For my true soul can come through,47

And I can release everything inside that was marked by you.48

I can see a future now, I have so many dreams.49

I can be who I want to be, search for what my life means.50

I can let go of my anger, let my life start.51

I can spread my smile, I can open my heart.52

Try.53

I am going to do this, I am going to work hard,54

To let others help me, to let down my guard.55

For I don’t want to be controlled by you anymore,56

So I am going deeper, I am opening door.57

A door to my soul, to let me shine free.58

A door to letting go of the bad and becoming me.59

It will be scary and my fears are strong.60

But I need to do this, so you will be gone.61

I have reached the next phase of healing my soul.62

Now I need to gain back my life, be in control.63

For I do not want to live my life in pain,64

I want to become me and release all my shame.65

To do this I need to listen to what others have to say.66

I need to let people help me and guide me on my way,67

For I cannot do it alone, I need support and care.68

I need more help to repair.69

Fading Back.70

I need to learn how to relax my control,71

For it is keeping my anger locked tight in my soul.72

For I am becoming the character that I do not want to be,73

And I no longer want to be angry for I should be happy and free.74

I am naturally smiley, caring and kind.75

But at the moment happiness is hard to find,76

For my anger is taking over me and it is getting too strong,77

I need to break it down before my true soul is gone.78

I fear I am fading back into my ways,79

Where chaos and sadness control my days.80

I need to move forward, for I have become stuck,81

Hating the life that he took.82

Help Me.83

I do not want to be chaotic and I do not want to be controlled.84

I just want the balance and let my soul unfold.85

I know it isn’t easy, but I have worked hard for so long,86

And now I just want my issues to be gone.87

But this isn’t going to happen if I lock myself away.88

It will just make is harder living through another day.89

I need to live my life and learn how to speak,90

Then my hidden secrets I no longer have to keep.91

But how do I do this? Where do I go?92

Where can I let my true soul show?93

Without fears trapping me and hiding me away.94

Please will someone help me to find my way.95

Shine Through.96

Who is this person hiding deep in my soul?97

Why can she not speak? Why does she hide behind this role?98

Why does she let her character take her place?99

When will she be able to show her face?100

She is shy, yet confident. She shows compassion and care.101

She wants to break down her character and let herself repair.102

She lives a peaceful life, that she wants to show me.103

She is like a child, lives happy and free.104

The warmth of her smile brings happiness within.105

And she is able to deal with the memories of him.106

I want her to come through, I want her to shine.107

For I know as the true me, everything will be fine.108

Character.109

My character is anger, she lives out my day.110

But sometimes she is too controlling in her way.111

She shouts in a rage with vicious intent,112

When really no harm is ever meant.113

She is good at protecting me, hiding me away.114

For I live in silence, but she has the confidence to say,115

What she wants and how she should feel,116

But this character is like an identity, she has become too real.117

I am not her, for I am a happy soul.118

I just created her when he was taking my control.119

But now I am finding me,120

I can set my true identity free.121

Guard.122

I have my true soul deep inside.123

But I have an angry character that helps it hide.124

It protects me from harm, keeps me safe from pain.125

But it also keeps me wrapped in my shame.126

This angry character was created as a guard,127

Because life for me as a child was just too hard.128

So I hid inside until it was safe,129

To unfold my beauty upon this place.130

Now I feel ready to open my soul.131

Let go of my anger and rebuild my control.132

And live my days following my dreams,133

And really search for what my life means.134

Who?135

A happy soul or an angry soul?136

Which one of these should be in control?137

Which one of these is truly me?138

For one is created and the other is meant to be.139

The happy soul is the child inside.140

Bit I protected her from pain, I made her hide.141

But now she is safe enough to shine her light.142

Now she can let the other character let go of her fight.143

The angry character is the one I created.144

For a little girl should never live a life forced with hatred.145

So she became my barriers protecting my soul.146

But now I am strong enough to be in control.147

Seeing.148

I always knew I had two characters inside.149

But I always thought my true soul had died.150

For the pain my inner child had suffered so small,151

Made me believe that to hell I had to fall.152

But she is still alive, she is still in me.153

And she is fighting so hard, to make me see.154

That I can be happy. I can be whole,155

For she has been safely wrapped up inside my soul.156

Now I can see me, through my eyes.157

It feels so good that I don’t have to wear my disguise.158

I can break down my once created being,159

For I am becoming me, my eyes are now seeing.160