Chapter 12 Inner Child

Inner Child.1

Inner Child.2

My inner child is so deeply in pain,3

For she is scared and hurting and so wrapped so tightly in shame.4

But how do I free her? How do I make her see?5

That I am her guardian now and she can trust me.6

Who is She?7

She has the most beautiful smile,8

That makes me want to sit with her a while.9

She is silent and has a caring soul,10

She is a fighter gaining back her control.11

She is pretty with purple hair.12

She is determined to repair.13

She has been through so much,14

I have faith in her to rid of his touch.15

She is strong and a mysterious being.16

She is helping me start seeing.17

She is the person who protects me,18

She is helping me to be free.19

She is the adult, inside her I hide,20

For I am the child, the hurt inner child.21

I am the one who was hurt,22

I am the one who is keeping this dirt.23

I am the one bound in shame,24

Whereas she is the one who is hiding me from pain.25

She protects my feelings with an anger so strong,26

For she screams and shouts when someone does wrong.27

But she has dealt with so much pain,28

And if I do not help her out, I think she will go insane.29

For all of her life she has had to fight him,30

And I am the one who can release her from his sin.31

We need to work together, we need to get on,32

For she still thinks that I did something wrong.33

But I need to show her that I am not to blame.34

I need to show her that we do not have to live in shame.35

We need to break the barriers that hold us apart,36

For I have her so deep in my heart.37

I do not want her to suffer anymore,38

For together we have a strength to take us through the door.39

I love you, can you not see,40

That all I wish for is for us both to be free.41

So I want to help you, take away your pain,42

And make you see that I am not to blame.43

Save Her.44

There she sits inside of me,45

This tiny child, an image of me.46

Trapped in a box, a storm brewing inside,47

Yet she cannot get out, instead she has to hide.48

She has no words, she cannot speak.49

She conceals secrets she has to keep.50

She cannot move, she sits cuddled up tight.51

She is too small to put up a fight.52

She has been locked away, all alone,53

Deep inside of me is all she has known,54

For I pushed her deep into my soul,55

For she is a reminder of him taking control.56

Now I have seen her, I feel so sad,57

For I blame her for him doing bad.58

But it is not her fault, she did nothing wrong,59

I need to save her, or soon she will be gone.60

Cast Away.61

I want to help her, but I cannot get through,62

For her barrier is too strong, built because of you.63

For she has hidden away deep inside of me,64

Waiting for the day that I set her free.65

She is my sadness, my pain, my tears.66

She has all the secrets buried for so many years.67

She carries my fears upon her shell,68

She is the child abused under the devils spell.69

I have cast her away for she reminds me of him,70

The evil one who abused me, the one who carries sin.71

So I pushed her away with his dirty touch,72

Because I wanted to forget what I hated so much.73

But now I can see her, I feel so bad.74

I look how small she is and how she looks so sad.75

And I feel the tears fall down my face.76

As I try so hard to rescue her from that place.77

Fight her Fight.78

I try to catch her attention, but she has turned away.79

I have abandoned her too long, she has nothing to say.80

Yet I scream and shout, I want her to see,81

That I really do care and she is part of me.82

Although I have kept her hidden away from sight,83

I am now strong enough to fight her fight.84

For she is just a child, she is too small,85

To deal with what happened she wasn’t ready for her fall.86

But now I am an adult, I can help her speak,87

About what happened when she was young, so she no longer has to keep,88

All the pain of the abuse she suffered deep inside.89

For now I can help my hurting inner child.90

In Hell.91

She holds a secret deep within,92

The secret of a man and an evil sin.93

She carries it safely behind a web of lies,94

But she knows she tells it from deep in her eyes.95

She keeps it silent, a truth always hidden,96

For the words she could speak have been forbidden.97

So she carries on her day fearing her life,98

Then goes home at night and cuts her skin with a knife.99

This secret so silent will kill her one day,100

And the evil man will get his way,101

But she is not willing to let him win,102

She is not going to let him get away with his sin.103

So she tells her story of the devil and her pain,104

And in a strange way it releases her shame.105

For the secret is no longer tainting her soul,106

And she have taken back her life and her control.107

Now she has the power to make him feel pain.108

Now she could play her own sick twisted game.109

But she is not evil, she is a good soul,110

All she wants back is things that he stole.111

But she does not need him in any way,112

For he will go to hell and that is where he will stay.113

So now she can get on with living her life,114

And fight for the day she will be free from her knife.115

Inner Child.116

My inner child is so deeply in pain,117

For she is scared and hurting and so tightly in shame.118

But how do I free her, how do I make her see,119

That I am her guardian now and she can trust me.120

I want her to laugh, to see only the good.121

I want her to live as a child should.122

I want to give her everything that he stole.123

I want her to be part of me, I want us to be whole.124

I want to give her love, protection and care,125

For in her life this was so rare.126

I want to hug her and tell her it will be fine,127

And I know that together we can both heal in time.128

Little Girl.129

My anger protects such a terrible pain.130

A pain of hurt and incredible shame.131

But when I break down and weep all my tears,132

A darkness is released from all my tortured years.133

For my pain had been pushed down, deep inside.134

And for so many years that is where it had to hide.135

But now I can let my anger go,136

And let the little girl inside me, begin to show.137

Show of her shame of what he did to her so small.138

Show of how her pain, made her fall.139

And as she opens up, she can begin to see.140

That she does not have to hide, she can be strong, just like me.141

Forgive?142

I will never forgive you for what you did.143

For my addictions and pain, for the secrets I hid.144

But I can forget you and carry on with my day,145

For you can no longer control me in every way.146

I can live my day not thinking of you,147

And all the evil things you used to do.148

But the tiny child inside of me,149

Is still hurting and clouded in misery.150

Even though I can carry on,151

My inner child has been sad too long.152

So now I can cope and be free,153

I have to release the child inside of me.154

I can make her better, listen to her shame.155

And one day soon I will release her from the chain,156

That is wrapped so tightly around her shell,157

That has kept her hidden in your spell.158

She is only young, she is so small.159

How could you abuse her and take it all?160

She is just a child, she does not know what to do.161

She is so frightened in the presence of you.162

You evil man, I was so innocent until you,163

Made me do things I should not have to do.164

I should not have to touch you and you not touch me.165

You sinister devil, you just should not be.166

Light.167

I have just seen the most powerful image I will ever see.168

It is of a little girl, so beautiful and free.169

She is me as a child, before the devil stole it all.170

She is innocent and pure, she is too young the fall.171

In my mind I took her away,172

Keeping her innocence in every way.173

And I made her into a tiny light,174

That became a hope to make me fight.175

Fight against my life at his hand,176

And show others how to understand,177

That if evil touches you deep inside,178

In shame and fear you do not have to hide.179

Innocence.180

For so long, I only saw myself as the child who was hurt.181

And the adult me, crawling with dirt.182

But now I have an image so beautiful to see.183

An image of a child so innocent and free.184

She came to me so clear in my mind,185

Showing me her purity and helping me find,186

The hope to keep me working hard to carry on.187

The hope to show me why I should be strong.188

She has shown me that evil did not take it all,189

For before he touched me, I was so innocent and small.190

So there was no way I could have know what was wrong and right.191

There was no way I would be strong enough to fight.192

Hope.193

An image of me as a child, so beautiful and free.194

An image of such innocence I can see.195

And I will hold that close in my soul,196

And think of it any time I begin to lose control.197

For she is my light of purity, a symbol of hope,198

To keep me strong when I feel I cannot cope.199

For I thought that as a child I lost my soul,200

But now with this hope, I know I can be whole.201

My smile is so precious, my eyes glow an awesome shine.202

It is a beautiful image, frozen in time,203

Showing me I am pure for I was born free.204

Showing that before he touched me, happiness I could see.205