The Missouri Star

Warm, clear summer nights were always a favorite of mine when I was younger, now I don't care what kind of night it is, as long as it is night, more peaceful than the day. 1

That night I was running through our house, the pink ruffles of my white night gown swirling above my ankles, looking for my father. When I walked past the front door, which stood slightly ajar, I saw him standing in the middle of the yard, staring up at the moonlit sky.2

His light blond hair hung over the collar of his green button up shirt. Seemingly unaware, he tapped his hand against the side of his faded blue jeans and his heavy steel toed boots to the same the silent rythm. 3

He seemed at peace, the problems I wasn't even begining to understand, but plauged him everyday, as far away as ever. 4

Stepping onto the porch, the black carpet scratching my feet, I thought what a beautiful night it was. The crickets chirped the same song they do every night, and the air was sweet with the smells of summer. 5

"Dad...?"6

I called softly, walkng on to the first step, the broken wood no better on my soles than the carpet had been. It did not really bug me, though. Back then I could walk comfortably barefoot acrossed our wide gravel driveway. 7

He turned then, more from the sound of protest the less than unstable stairs made against my weight than from my tiny voice. 8

His face was stony as he studied me, his blue eyes that would dull in later years to a smoky grey as bright as gems. I almost turned to leave...But then he smiled and gestured for me to come over. 9

Hoping onto the last stair, I hesitated before going any further. My dad's happy expression became quizzical. His eyes asked without words what I was worried about. Mucus covered monsters lurking beneath the surface? Unknown bits of broken glass?10

Truthfully, I was just hesitant that the grass was going to be wet with dew because I hated when grass stuck to the bottom of my feet.11

I saw my dad shift his weight from one foot to the other in an impatient manner.12

Sighing, I jumped off the step and smiled when the sound of dry grass crunched beneath my feet.13

He smiled once more and looked back up at the stars, satisfied that I had finally accepted his invintations.14

When I reached his side he did not even acknowledge the fact that I was there so I busied myself glancing back and forth from the sky to my father, trying in vain to discover what he found so amusing in that big bowl of darkness. Sure the stars were pretty, especially out in the country where there were no street lights nor a single tree in our yard to obstruct the view but there was nothing to marvel at for as long as my father had been I thought.15

At long last he turned to me, "Did you know," he asked, "that some of those starts are other places with people on them not so unlike you and I?"16

He had chosen his words carefully, so he thought, so that maybe a five year old girl would would understand, but children always have and always will be very creative.17

For the first real time that night I looked up at the midnight sky and was actually glad we had no trees in our yard to climb becuase I wanted a clear view of the stars that I was now for sure what they were. Not a billion Christmas lights or the halos of angels, but they were all the states and continets I had heard about and been to. 18

I smiled as my eyes fell on one particulary bright star above my head. Looking at the star I began to remember my trip to St.Louis I had been on not too long ago. I thought about the Arch, how big it was and how all the busy people looked like ants from the top. I envisioned the hotel where I had lost my soft green secruity blanket and wondered what the maids who chain smoked and wore too much makeup had done with it.19

I wondered if that star was the Missouri Star. If that was where I had been only a few weeks before, and I wished that while I had been there I would have taken the time to look up and tried to find the star that was my home.20

Many times after that night I would stand under a blanket of stars, gazing into the vast opening and wondering what star was Asia, Africa, and Austraillia. 21

I never told anyone about the Missiouri Star or ever asked if it was true.22

Soon afer I learned that by "people" and "places" my father had meant other planets and 'ailens' he was unsure exsisted. I am glad I made such a misunderstanding, it made the stars special to me and I think that is what matters because they really are something to marvel at.23

Now, when a warm and clear summer night comes again I will stand in the yard of my new house, peeking through the tree tops, and wonder if that star, off to my left, is the Missouri Star...24