Unlikely Hero 7a1
Chapter Seven2
The walls of Londonderry, Ireland built in the 17th century still stood. They were overgrown now with the lush greenery of the island, and diminutive life forms hunted within their world of grass and stone. Mostly obscured from or ignored by the humans, the bugs devoured one another in the same endless cycle of survival. 3
The shutters and shades on the homes of Derry closed early to blank out more than the darkness. Saracens, on their endless patrols, shared the roads with a few large black taxicabs. Spotlights from the military lorries turned small portions of the ‘City of Two Names’ from night to day and back again. Now and then a private car skirted around areas considered too dangerous for a prosperous city dweller to enter. 4
The RUC vehicle managed to squeeze by the shell of a burned out bus that nearly blocked the narrow street that led into the Bogside. The driver of the police lorry was used to maneuvering around such obstacles. He ignored the wreck and concentrated on the shadowy figures of pedestrians. Likely these were only gents headed for their favorite pub, but one never knew. Too often out of the darkness came a tossed homemade bomb. Too often bullets flew through the air to pepper a car. Police, regardless of their mission, were unwelcome in a territory of the IRA.5
The abused body of Father Philip Reagan was still lying on a gurney in the lab, when a very tired Investigator Rodger Keenan rapped his knuckles against a door in three quick bursts. Beside him, his equally exhausted partner shuffled his feet as they waited. Nothing happened and Keenan rapped louder. 6
“Hold your water, I’m a coming.” 7
They heard the latch slide back while a grumbling voice informed them, “A bloke can’t grab a nap.” The door opened a crack. “What in ‘ell ya want?” Two distinct smells came from the wide-bodied elderly male who blocked the doorway. Sweat was slightly overpowered by booze; his gray hairs stood up in random spikes on his head and shadowed his cheeks with several days lack of a shave. His white apron needed a wash and large blotches of brown mixed with faded-yellow stained it. 8
“Mr. Cummins?”9
“Who else ya think ta find in a man’s shop this late?” His bloodshot glance shifted from Keenan’s features to the face of the younger officer. The door opened a bit more. “Andy Stone. What ya bothering me for this time?”10
“We were headed for your house,” Stone said. “We saw the light in the shop. What are you doing napping here?”11
“My old woman’s got her tail twisted. Wouldn’t have been able ta sleep in me bed, no how, her yowling like a banshee.”12
“Can we come in?” Keenan asked.13
“What the fuck for?”14
“We need to ask you a few questions, Jeff,” Stone said in an effortless voice while rewarding the older man with a soft grin. “Nothing against you. Someone break in your shop lately?” 15
“Break in?” Suspicion highlighted Cummins’ tone. “Somebody try that I’d crack their blooming skull.”16
“Can we just take a look around?” Keenan asked. He caught the edge of the door and pulled on it.17
“No reason ta concern yourself.”18
“We won’t be long.” Keenan pushed passed without waiting. “You sure nothing’s been amiss lately?” He heard Cummins angry grunts behind him and Stone’s attempts to appease the man. Quickly he made his way into the butchering area of the shop. He spotted the wall switch and flicked on some added lights. The wooden block tables used for cutting and packaging held unprotected meat but he ignored this violation and lifted a knife from a slot. The handle resembled those on the knives they found sticking out of the priest. He allowed it to drop back in its slot. 19
Cummins had moved to the table and was attempting to make rapid improvements. He wiped up some blood with a bloodier cloth. “Just started working,” he said.20
“Thought you were napping?” Keenan didn’t push the point. “Looks like you’re running low on equipment?” He ran his hand over a bunch of empty knife slots. “Appears like something more than knives are missing.” He pointed to several hooks where only the dirty imprint of saws or cleavers showed on the wall. “You sure someone didn’t lift some of your tools?”21
Cummins’ scratched at his beard and moaned. “Friggin’ sons of mine. Sell things off on me for gaming money. Pretty soon I’ll be needin’ to use my teeth to break bones on a beef.” He looked around as if doing a fast inventory. “Ain’t nobody broke in.”22
“Where your boys at?” Stone asked.23
Members of the RUC plaguing him wasn’t unusual and their asking after his sons’ whereabouts was common. Still, Cummins’ wasn’t about to give anything up too easily. He paused as if to think things over before he said, “Young ones’ at home I suspect. Fran got himself a job at a pub in Strabane. Be workin’ now.”24
“And Fred?”25
Cummins lifted his shoulders and scratched again at his chin. “Only see ‘em when he needs a pound.”26
“What’s Fred two, three, years older than Fran?” Keenan counted the empty knife slots making a mental note for he didn’t want to jot down anything and make Cummins’ even more suspicious.27
“More like four or five, wife had a couple gals in between. Why ya askin’?”28
“Freddy got himself in a bit of trouble,” Stone said. “You might wanna come down to the station and talk things over.”29
“Not on a bet. Let him get his own ass outta the fire.”30
“Now, Jeff.” Keenan’s voice thickened with his threat. “It will pay you to cooperate. Your coming with us could be beneficial to your own hide as well.”31
“You ain’t got no reason for lifting me.”32
“We aren’t arresting you,” Stone said. “Just need a bit of your time.” He took a satchel from a shelf on the wall. “Like to borrow a few of your tools. You wouldn’t mind that?”33
“Don’t know about that.” Still, Cummins didn’t attempt to stop the inspector when he dropped several knives in the satchel. “Got me a solicitor. Think I’d best give him a call.”34
“You do that Jeff.” Keenan said. “We’ll wait for you in the car.”35
What started as a despicable afternoon for Fred Cummins continued on into a disgusting night. Morning soon came and his abundance of cash that should have allowed him to be buzzing was locked away and he was cold sober. He still hadn’t managed to consume one sip of good stout and that angered him more than the fact he was still in the lockup. He tried to sit still. The things the lawyer said, kept making him jump to his feet, rant a bit and collapse in the chair again. “Why them bastards lying?”36
“Calm down. Half the city hearing you won’t help the situation. The soldiers have no reason to lie. They set the check point up at nine and remained at the spot until nearly quarter past eleven.” Alistair McNeil had dealt with men like Cummins for twenty of his forty-five years. He believed only a small portion of what they told him and he rarely let them upset him. His voice remained non-committal as he continued. “You definitely made a lasting impression but the soldiers can’t pinpoint the exact time they encountered you. They checked some twenty or so cars yesterday morning, and since nothing but your nasty disposition was amiss they didn’t record the time. When they were called away for something far more important, no one thought enough about you to remember the exact time.”37
“What about my lousy brother-in-law?”38
“Hennessey said, you left your car off the afternoon before and borrowed a van from him. You did bring the auto back sometime after ten but so what. Father Reagan was murdered yesterday morning. It’s only a fifteen-minute drive at normal speed from the church to where the army was stopping vehicles.” McNeil flipped through his notes and frowned. “They haven’t charged you with the Fitzgibbon murder but they will.”39
“What the fuck for? I liked that lass, I wouldn’t kill her.”40
“Maybe so. Still, a black van was parked in front of her house. I don’t know much more than it apparently was there a good part of the night. You work in your daddy’s shop and have access to butcher knives?”41
“Yeah, so? Coppers said she was beat ta death.”42
“I wasn’t referring to Fitzgibbon just then. The priest was killed with a butcher knife in fact several were used on him. It’s not looking good for you Fred.” McNeil didn’t raise his tone. 43
“Suppose, they’re gonna tack the whore on too.” Fred grunted in disgust. “Tryin’ ta clean up by stackin’ all them murders on me. Sons of bitches, they are.” His fist pounded the table and he squalled. “You got ta get me out of this.”44
“What whore, Fred?”45
“Leona Ahern!”46
“They said nothing about the Ahern murder. Why would they think you killed her?”47
“’cause I fuckin’ knew her.” His face purpled in rage, his eyeballs rolled upward so his sockets became nearly white and he sputtered through a mouth of saliva. “This shits. This shits all ta hell!” He was banging on the table.48
“Calm down. You’ll have them dragging you out!” McNeil’s voice finally showed some concern. The portly male stood up and backed away from the table.49
The rage left Cummins and he slumped back in his chair, tilting it slightly. “I ain’t nutty,” he said. Then allowed himself a caustic snicker as he eyed the lawyer who remained standing. “If someone else saw me at around nine or a little after, yesterday morning, would that help?”50
“They have a fairly tight time schedule and since we’re talking minutes here anything might help. How reliable a person is this?”51
“She ain’t gonna be too thrilled with saving my ass.” Cummins chuckled as if enjoying a marvelous joke. Then he spit on the floor before he said, “Aileen Hailey.”52
Author notes
Please give me any corrections and concerns
In a list
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I always have to reread your chapters.. I get so caught up in the story, I forget to look for errors.

Wonderful chapter.
i have to tell you I though, the day I read the chapter where they found the priest. On the news that night, there was a preacher found murdered in the church...
Weird. I was just wondering... where were you that day?
Just kidding..
Can't wait to read more.
I loved the first paragraph what a wonderful introspective of how other life goes on around us. oblivious to our concerns.


beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Oh know
--I only killed one ...well anyway so far rofl*.
Thank so much for the great comments
. I'm so happy you are enjoying the story.
Geri
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Hey Geri,
Aileen Hailey. I don't think she'll have anything good to say about your boy Fred. Chasing someone and scaring them is better than a murder beef though. Had to go back and read it again to look for boo-boos. I was caught up in the story the first time and I didn't see anything that needs attention the second. Your characters are developed very well, as they always are, and the dialogue is great. I'm really enjoying this story
Steve

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But she has to clear our boy Fred, if she tells the truth
.
We Irish lasses don't always do that
...then too she might not recognize him...
got to keep reading.
for the comments Steve,I'm so glad you continue to follow this novel
.
Geri
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Greetings, gerifitzsimmons. I'm no editor and I don't concern myself with the little stuff. Even if it was a final draft, I focus on the broader story and techniques. This is why I find myself in a spot: I cannot, since this is a seventh chapter, the first six I haven't read. Soooo.... What the heck. I've never done this before. Plus, even someone jumping in mid-game may have something to offer, so I'll do my best. There are simply broad comments:
First off: what stage of drafting is this in? This is important, as things can change drastically. I'm assuming first or second run here.
Execution: For the most part I like. You keep things moving and you don't character tag when there's no need. Descriptions are simple. I prefer detailed, but that's just a personal preference. What matters is I can envision what's going on.
Dialogue: Works well. Rich and realistic, a strong point of yours. Proper syntax and missing gees, I can imagine the accents. Fuck? Fook, maybe. Then again, too many phonics could make things unreadable.
I have no idea what's going on, but I defiantly get a sense of a well thought story and the refined skills to tell it. I wish I could read every good idea on this site. But again, to pull that off that's all I'd be doing.
Cheers!
Dw


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Sorry about the tardy
, for reading and commenting on my scribbles.
Sometimes I miss my notes.
I hope you contue to read.
again, Geri
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Helloooo geri me sweet colleen

First up I must throw my fragile frame at your feet and ask for mercy, for I have failed in my task of catching up on the chapters I have missed in recent times. I will, I will, I will - honest I will try and make time to read them
just don't put me in the clutches of the Garda 
The story is rolling along like a beautiful rambling brook that is disturbed only by the hidden rocks beneath.
The descriptive passages are, once again, written with style and panache, your skill turning the phrases into pictures are
I could use the adjective 'Awesome' - but I won't, cuz me don't use that word 
The Cummins' family are certainly in sticky
at the moment, but I'm sure their lawyer, or some not-yet-known leprachaun will come to their assistance.
The missing knives and othert paraphenelia from the shop, coupled with the murder of the priest, seem slightly too co-incidental, but then again, coincidences do happen (I think).
Although I've missed a couple of chapters (or parts of chapters) I am getting into this story now (no need fer yer ta say "'bout time too")
I have a some suggestions and edits for you to look at if you feel they may be appropriate:
para 3: The walls of Londonderry, Ireland built in the 17th century still stood - I don't think 'Ireland' is required, as your avid readers will know where Londonderry is situated. Also, although I'm not sure, I think a comma is required after 'century'. If this is so, then 'Ireland' must definitely be taken out (not in the criminal fraternity sense
) otherwise it will read as if someone named Ireland built the walls 
para 5: The RUC vehicle managed to squeeze by the shell of a burned out bus that nearly blocked the narrow street that led into the Bogside. - This reads slightly awkward. I would like to suggest the latter part be altered to read: ... that nearly blocked the narrow street leading into the Bogside.
para 8: His white apron needed a wash (comma)
para 43: The priest was killed with a butcher knife (comma)
para 52: Then he spit (spat) on the floor (Reviewer's note: dirty old sod eew!)
An enjoyable read, dealing with the daily events of the time, and a story that has my full interest
*Now where's me Baileys 'n' me Dubliners CD?*
*Takes a slug and starts listening to 'The Wild Rover'*
Keep on writing me wonderful young colleen - you're good, really, really very good.


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Lawrie, the only thing I enjoy more than knowing you are still reading my scribbles, is reading your comments
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You keep me in a great mood all day
.
Appriciate your picking out them boo-boos makes polishing so much easier.
Geri
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