Dinner for Taboo

“I love you mom, goodnight.” 1

----------------------------------------------------2

The following program is rated MA for Mature Audiences Only. It contains scenes of graphic violence, language, sexuality, rape, drug use, and nudity. Parental discretion is advised. 3

”Good evening to all of you out there in your so-called realities. You are about to watch a one-hour television program that will not only shock and horrify you, but will also make you so sick to your gluttonous stomachs that you will not be able to turn away from your glowing Gods. Let me start off by introducing myself. My name is Jimmy Cain. I’m a 28 year old male from the human shit bowl known as, Los Angeles, California. While you’re looking at me, you’re probably thinking I am the epitome of your average American male stereotype, save for the long, black hair, instead of the frat boy blonde. In all actuality, I’m just like all of you that are watching me right now. You might tend to disagree with me as the course of this program goes on, but deep within the recesses of your mind, you’ll know that I was right from the beginning.” 4

”Alright, so you all are probably wandering what exactly this show you’re watching is all about. Well, first and foremost, this is not your average ‘Fear Factor,’ the parasitic snowball known as ‘Survivor,’ or the god-awful shit known as ‘The Real World.’ There will be no eating of cow intestines or any other random remains of animal carcasses on this show. There will be no overly hairy people stranded on a deserted island trying to ‘outwit, outplay, and outlast’ one another, and for goddamn sure, there will be no surfer jocks, stereotypical minorities, and psycho bitches living in a college town proving to us that our future is truly fucked. This program does not take place over several days, weeks, or months. We’re not going to show you just what makes for ‘good TV.’ This is going to be nothing but one hour straight of me entertaining you. Just a few words of advice before we get started, everything you see on this program tonight is 100% real. There are no scripts, no actors, and no special-effects. What you are about to see will never leave the outer regions of your mind, and your dreams will forever be haunted with my face. If you’re not ready to live reality, I suggest you go back to whatever falsehood you were living before it’s too late. But for some reason, I think I’ve already set the trap and you are now my Kunta for the night.”5

”Shall we begin?” 6

”You might be wondering why an average looking guy that could pass as your brother, husband, co-worker, or whatever it may be, landed a job doing a television show that you have absolutely no clue to what it’s about. Well, let’s just say, I convinced the societal dictators into something they couldn’t deny, just like I’m doing to you right now. I am a manipulator of words and a manipulator of your mind. I show and tell things that you all know, but wouldn’t dare speak of in public, for fear of persecution. Well, now that I have been given this opportunity to do this, consider me your martyr, and I’ll let you play God, since you have all the power over me right now.“7

”I want to show you something, but please don’t be frightened. These scars on my chest are merely love marks I gave to myself when I was just a teenager. Movies and plastic, gothic poster children, like Marilyn Manson, have made the after-school activity of ‘cutting’ seem to be something that sets teenagers apart from everyone in society. I cut for my own personal enjoyment, and not to ‘bleed’ my emotions out or any other MTV bullshit like that, but just merely because I like pain; It’s as simple as that. But, back to that cock mongrel known as the ‘Anti-Christ Superstar,’ for trying to masquerade himself as being a scary, over-the-top outcast, he sure does act like a fucking pussy if you ask me. It’s sad to see our kids growing up thinking that they are all pariahss because they got picked on during their P.E. class in seventh grade, so they started wearing baggy ass jeans and black band t-shirts with a retarded “anti-social” phrases on the front. Oh and how could I forget about the metal spike bracelets and necklaces they wear? When in the hell did trying to look like a character from that shitty ‘Dungeons & Dragons’ card game become a way to show that you are different? Not only that, but have you actually listened to the music these kids get into a (sic) mosh pit for at concerts? All the music really is are mid-to-upper-twenty year old males, who look just like the kids that buy their music to try and seem young and thrown out of society, as well, playing heavily distorted, one-chord riffs, with lyrics that are all bitching and moaning about how no one liked them as a kid. Once again, how the fuck do people think these kids are scary and a detriment to our society when all they do is sit in their rooms in the dark crying their fucking eyes out because the cheerleaders, or steroid-ridden jocks, won’t show them a bit of attention? I would go on about jocks, frat boys, sluts, and preps, all so-called Christians, might I add, but this show is only one hour.” 8

”Maybe it never crossed your mind as you were watching me as to why I had these gloves on. Well, I guarantee you’ll want me to put them back on once you see this. I have to take them off slowly, because one of the fingers hasn’t fully healed yet. From afar, if you were near-sighted, you probably wouldn’t see anything wrong with my hands. But if you were to get a little bit closer, you’d see that all of my fingertips are gone. No, there was no freak accident, no car wreck, or whatever you might be thinking. Believe it or not, I cut them all off myself. I’ll explain why in just a little bit after we meet my new friend, Mary. So, you’re sitting there, staring at your television, at a guy who has self-inflicted scars all over his body from a razorblade, and no fingertips left on his hands because he cut all of them off by himself. This is some fucked up, entertaining shit isn’t it?” 9

”What on the television is any good these days? I mean, it sure as hell isn’t some old guy with the world’s worst toupee pointing his finger and saying “YOU’RE FIRED,” is it? God, I hope not. Oh wait; there is something that’s worse than that. Whose metro/homosexual idea was it to have this abomination of makeover and home interior decorating shows? Seriously, if that’s what we have the beauty of coming home to at night after a long day’s work, put me in a prison right now, because I’d rather see the new tricks Leroy’s dick could do to me, rather than four faggots walking around town telling a normal guy how to dress or decorate his house.” 10

”Well, I know you people aren’t watching this mediocre show to hear me babble on and on about the truths of this world, so hell, let’s start the real entertainment portion of the program. I’d like you all to meet Mary. Say ‘Hi’ Mary, because this is going to be your big break. Oh, sorry guys, Mary’s not going to be much of a talker tonight, because you see, it’s kind of hard to speak when you’re drugged up, knocked out, and have no idea where you’re at. We found her walking around downtown last night. Fuck, we don’t even know if her name is really Mary, but we just gave it to her because it just seemed to fit. Now, don’t act like you’ve never seen a naked man and a naked woman before. Being naked is beautiful. What? Did your parents teach you to be ashamed of yourself? Never be ashamed; show your shit like you’ve never shown it before. I mean, hell, we were born naked, and no one bitched then. Ok, Mary, even though you can’t hear me, I want you to know that you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. Even though the scars on your arms from the needles show that you are obviously a very successful girl, I’m going to bring up that level of success just a little bit more by making you a star. Roll over, Mary. It’s time for you to be born again.” 11

”Now, I guarantee most of you are in complete shock right now that I’m fucking Mary, right in the good ole’ starfish, without her consent, right here on live television. Yet, you’re kind of getting aroused. As a matter of fact, you don’t want to admit to yourself that you are actually getting turned on by this. Your conscience, thanks to society, is telling you that it’s wrong, so you try and deny it, but in all actuality, if your wife or kids weren’t in the same room with you now, you’d be masturbating to this like there was no tomorrow. You feel that you should deprive yourself of these thoughts because of what people would think of you. Could you imagine talking to your wife in bed at night and just casually mentioning to her that you want to choke her while you fuck her to get off, or you want to role play a rape scene with her? No, you wouldn’t dare say that, so you’ll just let those fantasies reside in the back of your miniscule, cowardly mind.” 12

”The camera loves you, Mary. You are now America’s new sweetheart.” 13

”Excuse me for a second while I clean up. I mean, I can have the dirtiest, most fucked up persona in this business, but I’ll be damned if I walk around smelling like week old cum. So, I guess this would be a good time to segue back into the reasoning behind why my fingers don’t have any fingertips. Well, as I said earlier, I like pain. I think it’s very beneficial to my growing as a human being to punish myself when I’ve done something wrong. Each one of my fingertips was basically 10 different ‘Mary’s’ that I met in the past. I know you’re thinking that I’m a heartless bastard from what I just did, but unlike most people, I do feel remorse in what I do. For punishment, I would cut off one fingertip for each new ‘Mary’ I would come into contact with. The ‘Mary’ we just met would be number eleven for me. As a matter of fact, the number eleven holds a very special place in my heart. Did you know in astrology, eleven is called the ‘Master Number?’ Eleven represents sin; both transgression and peril. Since ten is the perfect number, eleven represents the exceeding of both. So, I always wanted to reach my goal of eleven, because I thought it represented everything that I was truly about.” 14

”But all ten of my fingertips are gone, so what could I do to possibly punish myself for making it to eleven? In this life, we must be able to know our limits. But, most people think we can control ourselves with no authority figures, and just by our own free will. Yea, thank you Lord Krishna, for that great fucking idea. Nuclear bombs, famine, natural disasters, George W. Bush, or whatever else you may think, will not be the death of the human race; stupidity will take the cake for that one. Anyways, I decided that the number eleven would be the number I stay with for the rest of my life. To do that, I’m going to do something that most of you could not possibly comprehend.”15

“In the King James Version of the Holy Bible, Matthew 18:9 says, ‘And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.’ Well, since my parents forced me into going to church on Sunday mornings as a child, I’ve never looked at the Bible as a literal form of truth for us humans, but more so guidelines and stories to help improve ourselves as a living race. I’m not going to pluck my eye out, because frankly, it’s always good to be able to see where two steps forward could take you at anytime of your life. To showcase my completion, I am going to castrate myself right here, for all of your viewing pleasure.” 16

”I’m sure all of the ‘bros’ are watching right now at their keg parties calling me a fucked up, disgusting faggot right about now, while seeing who can shotgun a beer the fastest and wearing their newest drinking shirt that mommy and daddy’s money paid for. Society has what I call, ‘selective selection.’ What this means is that we like to decide which ‘sin’ is worse, or basically whichever one the minority does is the wrong one. We close our eyes to the things that we know are just as bad as what I am about to do, yet we let them continue because it’s not like we’re broadcasting a self-castration on live, network television. We, yes, I’m including myself, are all a bunch of fucking hypocrites who don’t give two shits about anything in this life but ourselves. We know we’re all going to die alone, so we’ll be damned if we act selfless for just one moment. I hope we all die the most horrible, agonizing deaths God, if there is one, can possibly imagine. Fuck us all! Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to get on a personal tirade there. Let us get back to my salvation and your revelation.” 17

”I’ve done all of my previous cuttings on no type of anesthetic or pain killer; it’s all done on just pure adrenaline. Fuck heroine, meth, or any other shit like that; pain is the best drug one can never buy. Ok, now I want you to zoom in on my sacrificial lamb for society right now. I’m going to take the scalpel and slowly cut into it as if I were delicately cutting a freshly-grilled steak. I just have to say this before we begin, because one, it just makes so much sense right now, and two, I find it quite entertaining at the same time. “ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?” 18

”The first trickle of blood is always the most addicting…” 19

----------------------------------------------------20

As the mother walked into the room, the pungent smell of Vaseline and sex started to burn her nose and eyes; only to witness twelve-year old Johnny wiping off his television screen.21