I ran into my house and fell to my knees. Weeping for all the reasons why I loved him and for all the reasons why I hated him. The door wide open and there stood Lisa. I gave her a sharp glare. She just gave a shocked look. "We are on the same side here, ya know. We both want something we can't have. And you know what? I bet you also want revenge for him hurting you." She baited. I gave her an angry look but knew she was right. I sighed. "So you agree?" She asked suddenly. I nodded sharply. I hated to admit it, but I really wanted to see him him crumble from the inside out. "good. from this day forward, we will find every way to make his life a living hell. But so I can trust you, cut your hand." She demanded. I smirked. "Why?" I snapped. "Because I just said so!" She snapped and gave me a look. I sighed, I didn't have enough strength to give a damn. And I looked up at her and nodded. I was still on my knees and she handed me a knife. I looked at it carefully, wondering if this is the life I really wanted. "I'm sorry..." his words rung in my ears still. The answer hit me very quickly. Yes it was, I wanted this. I sliced it deeply down and blood slid down. The color black, red, white and blue. Interesting. I looked up at her and she nodded and sliced her hand too. Regular red blood flowing down from her palm. She held out her and, a motion for me to grab it too. I took in a deep breath. I took a hold and a blast of cold air hit me fast. My eyes changed color and a evil smile rose from my dark lips. And the story has only begun. My life has changed into hunger and revenge. And it's time to show Matt how it feels to het hurt...1
THE END!!!2
(Read the Author notes!!!)
Author notes
okay I'm going to explain. It's not REALLY over, like Claire said, it's only the start. I'll have a second book very soon!!!! ^w^
So what do you think?!!!
Comments
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Since this section is so short, I assume as a whole the story isn't too horribly long (longer than what most would want to read in one sitting, but still). Because of that I would recommend condensing down considerably; ever read a book with more than 30 chapters because every third page was a new chapter or something like that? It's kind of annoying seeing that visual break, and with the internet it's the exact same thing; having to look for the rest of the chapters here to get to the next part. Obviously in order to have a clue what's going on the rest needs to be read (no problem with that), but when it's scattered all over it does become an issue.
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Thsi was a very good chapter. keep writing !
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This was a good chapter. The only room I see for improvement would be more paragraph breaks to make the dialogue a little easier to follow. Beyond that it spurred my interest in the story enough to make me want to read the previous chapters. That is always a good thing
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