|1Her name was Annibell, and she knew nothing... nothing but luxury and love. As many say she was spoiled, but is spoiled the right thing to say if she longed for more? For more than luxury, in which most of the human race craves? Love so close to luxury's side... her name was Annibell and I am the one who found her diary.2
Day 1,3
I am trying out my new diary... it seemed like such a simple task to keep tabs on this life of mine, but now that I open it's beautiful cloth cover, I immediately feel as if I am rushed. So much can happen in a day and I am racing to scribble it all down before the maid gets back to put me to bed. I only have a few moments to share a life story... of course not the WHOLE life story, it's only a days worth, but I am sure you understood my meaning.4
I don't have much to tell you tonight, but I guess I should start out by describing myself. I am an average hight with an average face, all my features are there of course... I have hair just past my shoulders and it is a rich chocolate brown. I look rather plain, but I think I'd rather look plain than ugly. People tend to call me beautiful, but I doubt they mean any of it, they just like to get on my good side because I happen to be from a VERY wealthy family. Well... that seems to be all I have time to say tonight, maybe tomorrow I'll send Allison (My personal Maid) out on an errand so I have more time to write.5
Day 2,6
Allison will be gone for a while now, I think I have time to better explain my life... I'm home schooled. I don't have time to keep up on the current lingo, or proper fashions. I wear whatever Allison pulls from my closet and I speak however my tutor teaches me to speak. This brings me to the fact that I eat whatever my cook cooks for me, and I do whatever my mother plans for me. Hmm... Mother... this word seems so fake. Sometimes I wonder if parents are real... they seem so human one moment and the next they fit every stereotype known to mankind of parents with teenage children. Why is it so terrible to have a daughter claiming to be in love? Ahh, love is not the issue, it is who she is 'In Love' with, I just so happen to be in love with a guy who isn't as wealthy as my family. I don't see how this matters. I'm not the one who is rich, my mother is, he is not the one who is poor, his family is! We as two individuals are not anything but people. 7
The reason I am on this rant today is because just a few hours ago, Christian stopped by to 'hang out'. My mother was not happy with this phrase and scolded me for associating with 'such a fool'. She can be such a jerk sometimes. I have to learn two languages now, human and snobby bitch. I am hoping I can get the hang of how things are said as a teenager, I am actually hoping to get a better understanding of how to BE a normal 16 year old. It's a LOT harder than it looks. Anyways, back to Christian...8
"Hello Allison, is Ann home?" Christian tries his best at manners.9
"Just a minute," Allison stepped back and hollered for me. I was by the door in mere seconds.10
"Christian!" I said as I wrapped my arms around him. (An action that was considered whorish by my mother.) I took him by the hand and walked him outside. I didn't want him at my house for any length of time.11
As soon as we were out of sight, I turned to look at his face. He has green eyes and perfect eyebrows. Short brown hair as chocolate as mine, and he wears clothes that are in style. We walk a while longer before either of us speak. I see many girls my age walking on the sidewalk turning to stare at Christian... they are dressed in style, they probably have real families, I even bet they talk like a normal teenager would. It all makes me wonder why he is with me. Maybe mother is right, maybe it's all about the money. I sigh and immediately erase the thought. Such a terrible way to think of the one you love, the one who loves you.12
"So, what do wanna do?" He asks with a raise of his eyebrow. His smile gleams in the mid-day sun.13
"It's all up to you." I try my best at speaking the way he does. I smile back. 14
"How about... we just find a nice tree somewhere and sit. There's a park just a little bit further this way isn't there?" He asks. He isn't from this Kaydonville, he has to drive a half hour just to see me. He met me during my winter shopping spree. Every winter Allison brings me to a new town to shop for my spring clothes. Last year she brought me two Christian, we have been going back and forth ever since.15
"Is that ok?" He asks, clearly trying to get my attention.16
"Oh, sorry, yes, that's fine." I say a bit flustered by his arm wrapping around my waist now, instead of my shoulder like usual. The rest of the time we spent just chatting. More like he talked and I studied his way of speaking, and admired his wonderful features. Before we knew it he had to go home... and so did I.17
"Good-Bye, Christian." I said shyly, knowing a kiss would come next. I leaned slightly forward and stared into his eyes.18
"Bye, Ann." He leaned in the rest of the way and planted a perfectly smooth kiss onto my lips. I pulled him closer for more. And then he was gone. My angel of hope and love, gone.19
Day 3,20
My mother is on a rampage, she just found out that father is staying in L.A. for another month. I don't blame him. If I were him I'd stay away forever, although it's a shame that I couldn't go with him. He asked me too, but I couldn't bare to be farther away from Christian. I'd miss him all too much. As it is now we see each other twice a week. I go to him once a week and he comes to me once a week. It works out rather well. The only problem with anything, is my mother and her annoying ways.21
"Annibell! Where are you!" Her voice echoes in the large dinning room. I hurry to put my diary away.22
"Yes mom?" I say as I run down the stairs, the moment I say it I mentally correct my own fault. Knowing she too will soon scold me for saying such a thing.23
"Mom? Who is this 'mom' in which you speak of? Surely not me!" She bellows, angrier than any time I had seen her in the last few days.24
"I am so sorry mother... it was a slip of the tongue." I say as I look at the floor, studying the tiles I had looked at so many times in my lifetime. It was a habit to look at the floor when I am being yelled at.25
"I heard that boy was here yesterday. I only prey that you did not let him spoil you." she spits these words at me as if I am nothing, as if Christian is nothing. I close my eyes and hold back ant emotion that may seep through. I cannot show anger... she would only like that.26
"No mother." I speak so quietly she can just barely hear my words.27
"I know you have gotten it through your head that you need to be like everyone else, but you are not, and never will be. You are part of the Morasco family, Annibell, and you best start acting like it. I am tired of you wandering around here talking of some boy you met in a small town on the streets, he is not fit for my daughter, you have money sweetheart, you are no poor woman." She says sweetheart, which is usually a loving phrase, but the way she says it sends chills up my spine. I hate it when she is angry... but then again, when is she ever not?28
I stand up and take my leave before I my anger can show on my face. 29
Day 4,30
I asked Allison what she believes of my love for Christian, and she refused to get involved. She told me that no matter what she thinks, nothing will change, and that if she says anything, it'll just get her into trouble in the long run. I guess I understand what she is meaning. I shouldn't dwell on it. 31
Today I spent most of the day talking to Christian. I convinced Allison not to tell mother. She promised that her duty was to me and not mother. There was only one problem with my plan... I forgot to factor in my cell phone bill... mother knows.32
"Annibell." she whispered as I came down the stairs tonight for dinner. She had a newspaper in her hands.33
"Yes, mother?" I asked, acting confused. 34
"I thought we had an understanding. Who was it that you were talking on the phone all day with, today?" she asked while folding the newspaper in half.35
"Oh." I whispered, glancing at Allison. I thought she had ratted me out, but then I saw a piece of paper hidden under the paper. She picked it up and smiled a vicious smile.36
"Yes, I guess you had forgotten my agreement with your phone company? There will be no more of this. You hear me? This boy is no good. Look what he has done! He has you believing that you're in love! At age 16? Why it's not possible!" she laughed at this, as if it was some kind of joke.37
"Mother... I do love him. He wasn't the one to convince me, I KNOW it's love!" My voice started out quiet and gradually became louder. I could see the smile leave her face and anger take it's place.38
"Don't raise your voice to me, child! Go to your room. We will finish this conversation later. No use in making a scene out of dinner." And with that she picked up her fork and started eating.39
Day 5,40
She came into my room last night to yell some more. I was too flustered to continue writing in my journal. It was terrible. I told her that I wanted my father, and that he was my only true parent. She called him and told him that if he didn't come home soon she would send me off.41
Allison seems to think that my father is holding a double life. I don't blame him if he is, but I wish he'd come home soon and save me.42
"Ann, sweetie, I think it's time you start sucking up to your mother. Your father isn't coming home anytime soon and your mother has plans to send you away. Please... just think about it." Allison seemed very flustered today.43
"She wouldn't dare! And I won't!" I cried. 44
Allison told me about the phone call she overheard of my mother and father. Apperantly I was in trouble.45
"I will not allow her to run my life. She is ruining all hope for me! I do not want to grow into an old bag like her!" I was furious, but for some reason Allison seemed far more scared at this fact. "Allison... what is it?" I asked quietly.46
"If you go, I will be forced to follow you. I will have to continue my job of serving you elsewhere." she half smiled, but I could see the pain on her face.47
"Oh Allison!" I cried as I wrapped my arms around her, "I could never ask you to give up your life for my foolishness!"48
"You don't understand, I could never leave you my dear. You're like a daughter to me. But I am very much in love with my life here as well."49
"Don't worry about it, I'll try my best to keep both of us here. I could never be farther away from Christian." 50
Day 6,51
I'm starting to get worried, I haven't heard from Christian in almost two days. I decided to go visit him anyways. So here I am, writing in my journal as Allison drives the car. 52
When we got there, I knocked on his door. Nobody answered, so I knocked again.53
"Hello?" Christian came to the door wearing swim trunks and no shirt.54
"Hey!" I squealed, I was so happy to see him again. It had only been a few days, but I missed him so much.55
"Oh... um... hi. I'm sorry I didn't call you, or anything. I've been pretty busy." he said, looking down at the ground.56
"That's fine. Should we hang out here or somewhere else?" I asked, anxious to get to talk in private.57
"Well, I don't know. I mean, I should've called you. We can't hang out today." he continued to not look at me.58
"What's going on?" I asked, putting my hand under his chin and lifting his head up until his eyes met mine.59
He pulled away and looked back at the ground. "Nothing, you should go." As soon as he stopped talking I heard a crash from inside his house, and I knew right away, what was wrong. His mother had cheated again. 60
Last time something like this happened, Christians father's rage got the best of him, he beat Christians mother non-stop for days. As soon as she was too tired to fight back, he beat Christian.61
Since then, things went back to normal, his father was not a horrible person, I had met him many times before, and never once has he made me uncomfortable, but that doesn't change anything. When Christians mother slept with that other man, his father began to drink, which is something he never did before, he got drunk and continued to stay buzzed for days, beating them.62
Day 7,63
Mother is angry again. Father is on his way home. He will only be able to stay for a few days, and then he will head back out. Back home, I should say. He is barely my father anymore. I love him dearly, but I knew long ago that he was not coming back. He said it was a business trip, he said he didn't know how long it would last, but I knew better. Him and mother were barely together when he left. Mother still loves him dearly, when he was here, everything was wonderful, she was happy, I was happy, even Allison was happy, but since he left, everything changed. I cannot blame him though. We are hardly the beautiful swans. 64
When he got home, the first thing I noticed was that he rang the doorbell. He didn't open the door and holler that he was home. Mother didn't go running into his arms and I didn't rush down the stairs.65
Allison answered the door without a word. Father stepped in and set a small bag on the floor. He looked up to the landing, where he saw me standing, staring at him. A frown etched into my face. Sad eyes, and a swollen face. I had been crying all day, crying over Christian's family, and my own.66
"Ann, come give me a hug." He said it as a command, I had no choice but to do as he said. I walked slowly down the stairs and hugged him. Despite my promise to myself, his embrace made the tears come once again. I felt so safe, so happy to be able to hug him again. Suddenly I became furious that he ever left. I did blame him.67
Day 8,68
Yesterday nothing really happened, mother left for a meeting and didn't come home until breakfast this morning. She knew father was supposed to be home, but she didn't hurry home.69
She walked in and sat down for breakfast. We were having father's favorite. Blueberry pancakes with sausage and orange juice. When father entered the room her eyes lit up and she jumped from her chair, for a hug.70
"Hello, Gregory. I have missed you." She said as she swayed their hug from side to side.71
"I've missed you too. Although I can't stay long. I have business to take care of today." he said, ruining the moment. Mother backed up from his embrace.72
"Right, business. Where at? What for?" She asked, looking nervous. This was the first time I ever saw mother show such emotion. She looked like she was about to tear up.73
"Just down the road a ways, I'm having dinner with some important friends of mine." he answered as he sat down to eat his meal.74
"May I come with you?" she asked, knowing his answer would be no.75
"It's a business thing, you wouldn't be interested." 76
She stood up and left the table without eating. I left shortly after, and went to my mother's room.77
Her door was open, so I walked right in.78
"Mother? Are you alright?" I asked, wishing I wouldn't have gone in her room. She would yell at me for sure.79
"I'm fine." She sniffled, she was facing the window so I couldn't see her face. I knew she was crying because she wouldn't look at me, like she normally does when holding a conversation.80
"I'm so sorry." I apologized, not quite knowing what for. She turned around. Tears glistening in the sunlight that was coming in from the window behind her.81
"I said I'm fine. You should go work with Carl, I can't remember the last time I got a progress report from him. Tell him I need one ASAP." she avoided the confrontation of her emotions, by telling me to go do school work... classic mother.82
Day 9,83
Christian finally called last night.84
"Annibell." He said as soon as I answered the phone.85
"Christian! Are you okay! I was so worried!" I became frantic at the sound of his voice.86
"I'm fine. I need to see you. Soon." He was whispering and talking quite fast. 87
"Tell me when and where." I said.88
"Now and at the park on the corner. I need you to be here. I- I love you Annibell Morasco. I really do." his whisper came out as almost a sob.89
"I love you too. I'll be there, whatever it takes, I'll be there, for you. I love you too!" I cried, I was so scared, but I knew I'd have to bare with it and be there. For Christian.90
Day 10,91
Last night with Christian was the most horrifying moment of my life, and the most romantic.92
I crept over to my window, knowing Allison would be back soon to ready me for bed. I opened it just enough for me to slip out and then I closed the curtains and hooked them on a nail. This way I wouldn't have to open my squeaky window. 93
"Okay, my dear. What color seems best for tomorrow's dress?" Allison asked as she walked into my room. My eyes must've been wide with fear, but she didn't notice at all.94
"Orange?" I squeaked loudly, staring at the window and hoping that the wind wouldn't blow the curtains open. I hooked them on a nail, but I knew it wouldn't hold if a nice gust of wind blew through.95
"Orange... hmmm... alright." She said as she pulled my comforter up to my shoulders and fluffed my pillow. "Good-night, Annibell." she whispered. 96
"Good-night." I whispered back. I watched her leave and waited for her to shut the door, and then I was gone.97
When I got outside it was very dark, but I could see teenagers wandering around everywhere. It felt like another world... a world where teens stayed up past ten o'clock and snuck out as soon as their parents went to sleep. I was now part of this world.98
When I saw Christian he was standing by the creek at the park. Staring into the moving water as if he felt he should be in it. I ran to him and hugged him with all my might, and pulling him into a swift kiss.99
"Christian, what's going on." I said as soon as this moment was over.100
"I'm running away, and I need you to come with me." he said with a smile. The smile reminded me of my mother's. A beautiful smile with a side of psychosis. I tried to smile kindly back, but a frown was stuck on my face.101
"Why?" I had no clue why I had asked this question, I had so many things could have said, it just popped out before anything else could.102
"I can't stay with my family anymore... and I love you. Why not?" He said, with danger flashing through his eyes.103
"What do you mean 'Why not'? This is crazy! Where will you go? How will you get food? What about shelter? And a job?" I said everything I could think of to get him to realize hoe foolish he was being, but then I suddenly realized how foolish I was to ask him to go back home.104
"If you won't come, just say so. I'm leaving first thing tomorrow night, with or without you. I don't know where I'll go, or how I'll survive, I just know that you were the only one I thought of while getting myself out of there. I wanted to take you with me into my new life. If you don't want to be there, it's over, and I wasted my time saving a life that didn't need to be saved." he took off his shoes and socks while he said this.105
"What are you saying!?" I holler at him. He was making it sound as if he thinks his life is worthless without me. That if I don't go, I've made a fool of him. 106
He slipped off his shirt and started un-doing his pants. "It doesn't matter what I'm saying, it matters what I'm doing." He laughed, and jumped into the water. "Go." he said.107
"Go where?"108
"Either go home, go with me, go into the water you're looking at right now, go wherever it is you are wishing you were right now. Just go!" He laughed again and this time so did I. I slipped out of my dress and jumped in.109
________________________________________________________________110
So here I am, in my room deciding whether or not to drop my life and run away with the only person I've ever truly loved.111
Allison keeps coming in o ask me if I'm feeling well, she says my face looks pale. I bet it does. This is a huge decision and I have nobody to help me make it.112
Day 11,113
I am now on my way to visit Christian. I convinced him to stay around longer and just hide out somewhere nearby. 114
"I can't come with you, I-" he cut me off, thinking that I was ditching him. 115
"Fine, I was stupid to ask. Bye." he turned to leave, but I caught up to him and spun him around.116
"No, Christian, I can't come with you, but I have a better idea!" I paused to watch his sad expression turn into one of wonderment, "When we moved here we built a guest house in the woods behind our house, nobody knows it's there because we never have any visitors who stay, we were going to use it for our staff but most of them have homes to go to at night and the rest stay in the maid's quarters in our basement, to stay close. So... you can have the guest house."117
"I- I don't know what to say..." he said. 118
He seemed unsure, so I continued to try to sell my idea. "Of course you'd have to keep it a secret, but it'll be fun I promise, you'd need to stay confined to one room though, I mean you can surely go from room to room, but anything that proves that you're there needs to be confined to one place. Plus, I could see you everyday and when we're not together you can do whatever you like. It's so wild, like an adventure, mother would never guess!" I laughed at the crazy sound of my own voice.119
"You are the perfect woman." a smile spread widely across his face as he leaned in and lightly pressed his lips to mine. "I love you, and I'd be a fool to refuse and offer that hot." he laughed, a sweet dangerous laugh. The kind of laugh I fell in love with the day I met him.120
________________________________________________________________121
I look both ways over my shoulder, hoping nobody is watching as I slip the key in the door of the guest house and walk in, locking the door behind me.122
"Christian?" I whisper, into the darkness, searching with my eyes for some kind of sign. I see a flicker of light off to the far corner. I'm pretty sure it's through a doorway.123
"Don't turn on the light." Christian calls from the direction of the flicker of light, reading my mind. I lower the hand that I had raised to turn the light on.124
"Why not?" I asked curiously.125
"Don't you trust me?" he laughed126
"Of course I do." I made my way over to the door frame and peeked in. "Oh m-" he cut me off as soon as I started.127
"Oh my god, right? I knew you'd love it." He said turning to look at the roses and candles he set up on th floor of the office. "Don't get the wrong idea... I know we said we're not ready. I just thought this was romantic." He reached down and grabbed my hands, pulling me over to the blanket and sitting down, guiding me down as well. I was completely speechless. 128
"Say something." He whispered as he brushed a lock of my hair behind my ear as his thumb grazed my cheek.129
"I love you." I whispered as I gently kissed his neck. "You're wonderful." I giggled at the seriousness in my voice.130
He didn't say it back, he only kissed me again. Stronger than ever before, he put all of himself into the most amazing kiss ever. His tongue searching my mouth as if it were an adventure in itself. Before I knew it he was pushing me back onto the blanket in a laying down position. For some reason from this angle everything seemed more real, more safe than anything else in my life.131
"I'm so sorry." He breathed as he sat up and fixed his shirt, "I didn't me-" he didn't have time to finish because as soon as he started talking I had known what I wanted to do so badly. I was kissing him so passionately that everything else faded, my mind emptied out and all thoughts of regret washed away as quickly as they had come.132
His hand slid my shirt over my head. The tingle of his touch left lingering behind. As soon as my shirt was gone his hand came back to the button on my pants, quickly unbuttoning it and sliding them down. My breath caught as I realized how much I had wanted this moment. I reached up and pulled his shirt off, rolling over so that I was on top. I slipped my feet out of my pants and kissed him as hard as I could.133
"Stop." he whispered. I stopped and jumped up to my feet. Sliding my pants right back on and picking up my shirt. Tears filling my eyes.134
"It's not like I don't want it... want you, it's just that... you're not ready." he reached for my arm, but I pulled it away.135
"Says, you." I whispered, pulling on my shirt. The tears slowly slid down my face. 136
"Hey. You're the one who said you weren't ready. I just don't want you to do something you'll regret later."137
"Are you saying I'd regret it?"138
"No, no, that's not what I'm saying. Come here. Please." he begged reaching out his arms to envelope me in a hug.139
"No." 140
"Please." he whispered. But I didn't listen, I left.141
Day 12,142
I'm afraid to visit Christian again. I know he wants to see me, but I just can't do it... I'm too nervous. Besides, mother and father are fighting WAY too much for me to even THINK about sneaking out to the guest house. In fact, Christian almost got found out today.143
"I can't stay here anymore, Lillian." Said father at dinner one night.144
"Why not?" Mother couldn't hide her emotions as his work began to sink in.145
"We've been dancing around the fact that we're not together anymore for too long. I think it would be best to just get it all over with." He said in a serious voice.146
I sat there, watching mother's face change from one of hurt to one of anger and then back to the most melancholy look I've ever seen. Tears welled up in her eyes and her hand began to shake as she forced herself to eat what was on her plate.147
"Lillian..." father's voice was still stern.148
She got up and walked out the door and slammed it loudly behind her.149
I tried to sit back and stay silent, but father insisted on having me talk.150
"Annibell? Is the guest house cleaned?" He asked151
"Umm... " I wasn't sure how I could lie my way out of this one.152
"Yes, sir, we've kept it clean." Allison answered, ruining my chance to redirect his thoughts.153
"Alright, have someone move my things to the guest house then." he asked.154
"No! I mean... you won't be staying here long will you? What's the use... moving all the way out there and then moving all the way back to L.A.?" I asked155
"Well, alright, nevermind, Allison... besides I should be spending my time with my daughter before I leave."
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