Elsa the Great and her Star Studded, Disaster Filled Christmas

Elsa the Great had just finished tucking presents under the tree when she heard someone come in behind her. Turning around slowly, she mumbled, "Stop, stop following me, I told you to stay out of my head you behotch, you're driving me nuts... nutter... damn, that's one good toaster..." at these last words she brightened up considerably, seemingly looking at a toaster. 1

Anyway, Jim had just walked in to discover Elsa mumbling about damned toasters. At this point she turned around. "Hey Jim." she said.2

"Hiyee Elsee." Jim said, plunking down on the coach on top of the ex Hunky Male Bodygaurd #2, who let out a cry of anguish. 3

"Crap. I thought he was dead." Elsa said, clearly disappointed.4

Jim gave her a questioning look. 5

"See, I have this ten-foot metal pole at hand at all times, so sometimes for entertainment I give him a good poke. He wasn't moving before." she explained, surveying the smelly drunk with disgust. "But... he is so hot!"6

she said, giggling, and rubbing his back with her hands. 7

Jim repeated the look. "Ooohhh!!! Partyyyy!" he said, suddenly struck by an idea.8

"Oooohhh!!!!!!! We should have a party!" Elsa the Great said, obviously having one more of her oh-so-awesome brainstorms. "Don't be sad that you didn't think of it first, Jimmy. It's just--- some of us are more creative than others." 9

Jim puked in the laundry basket. Eric McCormack peeped his head out, looking revolted. "My new tux!" he said in that really annoying high voice of his.10

"Wait a second. We're supposed to be the ones who are stalking you!" Elsa said, confused. 11

"Yeah, but Marc Anthony is coming to the par-" he stopped in mid-sentence, clappping his hand over his mouth. 12

"Well, that just doesn't make any sense." Elsa said, shaking her head. 13

All of a sudden System of a Down walked in with Dustin. " the mainstream!" they yelled in unison. 14

"Wow, you're kick-ass at that, man." Benji Madden said, walking in. He was closely followed by his brother Joel Madden, who was sporting a hot pink pin reading, "I AM A POSER." Hilary Duff was on his arm, smiling.15

"Wowee!" Jim said, clapping his hands and jumping up and down. 16

"Jim, did anyone ever tell you how sexy you are?" Hilary Duff said, pulling away from Joel Madden and standing beside Jim.17

"Aw." Joel Madden said. 18

"Where's Marc Anthony?" Eric McCormack said, looking frustrated. 19

"You've got the wrong room. You're looking for next door." the ex Hunky Male Bodygaurd #2 said, speaking for the first time.20

Hilary Duff from Lizzie McGuire looked at him.21

Joel Madden from Good Charlotte looked at him.22

Benji Madden from Good Charlotte looked at him.23

System of a Down looked at him.24

Dustin from Weatherstone Place looked at him. 25

Eric McCormack from Will and Grace looked at him from the laundry basket.26

Elsa the Great squealed and batted her eyelashes.27

"You're just irresistable!" she said, running her fingers through his hair.28

Eric McCormack hopped outside, taking the laundry basket with him.29

At this point, Jim spoke without adding a long e to his words for the first time. "Eric. Don't leave me. I love you." he said without adding a long e onto his words.30

Eric McCormack from Will and Grace had already left.31

"Jim. Did I give you permission to use your real voice?" Elsa said, her voice hard as stone.32

Jim flipped her off and walked out of the house, slamming the door shut behind him. 33

Elsa the Great tried to laugh it off. "Can you believe him?" she said, looking at the group of celebrities and- random people. 34

"Uh, yeah." Hilary Duff from Lizzie McGuire said. 35

Elsa gave Hilary Duff from Lizzie McGuire a deadly look. "That was a rhetorical statement."36

Then Tannah, Will, and Hannah walked in. 37

"Elsa, you know you suck at writing this stuff." Will said, interrupting the whole fricking story. 38

You know what? Will drives me crazy sometimes. Okay, don't tell anyone this, but one time-39

"Elsa, seriously, shut up!" Will said, crying and pulling out his hair as he ran out of the house. When he had slammed the door behind him everyone heard him yell, "Hey! Eric McCormack!"40

"Sexy... come back!" Tannah yelled, running after him. 41

"That was wierd." Hannah said, sitting down on the couch on top of the ex Hunky Male Bodygaurd #2.42

"Back off, he's mine." Elsa said, approaching Hannah with an animal look in her eyes. 43

"Whatever." Hannah said, diving into the new and improved sexy microwave.44

"Yeah, well, do you wanna go to the mall?" Elsa the Great asked Hannah, poking the new and improved sexy microwave. 45

"Sure. What about those guys though?" Hannah said, pointing at the celebrities and Dustin.46

"Oh, yeah, we're having a party." Elsa said, surprised. 47

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!! I LOVE SHOPPING!!!" Hilary Duff from Lizzie McGuire screamed excitedly.48

"Ughhh... I know that voice..." Elsa said thoughtfully, scratching her little blonde head. "Wait a minute! You're the one who's been corrupting my head!" 49

"OH MY GOSH! THAT'S HILARY DUFF FROM LIZZIE MCGUIRE!" Hannah screamed, totally spazzing out in the new and improved sexy microwave, seemingly noticing her for the first time.50

"Umm. Two things. Hannah, get out of the microwave if you wanna go shopping with Hilary Duff from Lizzie McGuire." her voice grew louder as she screamed, "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!!!!!" she screamed, pointing at Hilary Duff from Lizzie McGuire.51

"Well, you should take that radio waves picker-upper thingy off you head then. I'm all over the radio being interviewed." Hilary Duff from Lizzie McGuire said logically. 52

"Oh. Right." Elsa said, plucking the radio wave picker-upper thingy off her head.53

At this point Hannah hopped out of the microwave. "Let's hit the mall!" she yelled.54

"F THE MAINSTREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!" System of a Down and Dustin yelled as they exited the house along with Elsa the Great, Hannah, and Hilary Duff from Lizzie McGuire.55

Benji Madden from Good Charlotte and Joel Madden from Good Charlotte looked at eachother.56

"Bro, they just totally ditched us." Joel Madden from Good Charlotte said, downcast.57

"Don't feel bad. We're strong, sexy men. Mom has always told us that we're special." Benji Madden from Good Charlotte said, cheerful. 58

"Let's get out of here. I don't wanna miss Marc Anthony!" Joel said, and the two ran out, arms hooked.59

"Well, that just doesn't make any sense." the ex Hunky Male Bodygaurd #2 said, completely confused.60

Meanwhile, the girls were chilling at the mall. 61

"You guys rock. We should hang out more often!" Hilary Duff from Lizzie McGuire said. 62

Hannah blushed. "I'm a big fan. I have all your CD's. I think you're really talented!" 63

"Yeah, well, I think you suck." Elsa the Great said. 64

Hilary Duff from Lizzie McGuire looked startled at first, perhaps confused... then she got a kick ass idea!65

"Well, have a cat then!" Hilary Duff from Lizzie McGuire said, pulling a smelly hairy cat ball from her Louis Vuitton and shoving it into Elsa's arms. 66

Meanwhile, System of a Down was getting hammered with Greenday and Dustin at a bar. Some nerd with pocket protectors was making out with some preppy chick with a micro mini.67

Dustin looked impressed. "She's hot." he said.68

Tankian from System of a Down giggled. "You should go talk to her." he whispered.69

Dustin, being drunk, went up to the girl and pushed apart the makee outees. "Hey baby." he said, almost falling over.70

Back at their table Billie Joe from Greenday's mouth was hanging open. "Whoa. Mind blowing, man. Did you see that? he went up to her." he said, awestruck.71

Tre Cool from Greenday nodded. "And now she's punching him in the face." the band dudes giggled and ordered another roud of beers.72

Meanwhile, Jim sat in the middle of Sears, crying. Barbie was so depressing these days! Barbie in Labour, Barbie hurting herself skating... "It's all too much!" he cried, getting up and running out of Sears and into Shopper's Drugmart. He took a deep breath. "Much better..."73

Elsa the Great's Lamenesss... TBC...74

Author notes

Well. I just want everyone to know that I don't sware in real life, but at times I find it humourous in stories. Oh yeah... a lot of you will think this is retarded, but... okay, well I don't really have an excuse for that.

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