There's just something about him that lures me in unlike anything else, something that I can't place a finger on.1
Maybe its the way his luscious lips are curved into a wolfish smile, pearly whites glinting in the flashing lights of The Underground. It could be the way the sweat on his finely tanned copper skin shines, soaking his shirt and making it cling to the liquid movements of his muscles. But if you ask me, I think it's those eyes of his. 2
They're slightly slanted with irises multicolored and outstanding against the whites. They look like shattered glass with the various shades of green, blue, and hazel dancing about the slitted, rather than round, pupil. 3
Everything about them scream inhuman, stay away, but at the same time I can't help but be sucked in by them.4
They call to me.5
I begin my way through the crowd, gaze affixed on his twisting body across the room. By now he's watching intently in my direction with that sinister grin on his face and eyes boring deep inside of my own, like he's delving into my soul, leaving a bitter chill deep within myself.6
I shoulder my way through the crowd, the people surrounding me still dancing the night away, their bodies colliding with one another like atoms.7
The music thrums louder in my ears as I walk passed the speakers and its almost like everything but the music and the boy have been drowned out by the overwhelming sound of the bass. Its deafeningly loud near the speakers, so how the boy managed to stand right beside them, swaying to the music like the rest of the party goers in the room, unperturbed by the sound was beyond me.8
I stop before the boy, our eyes locking as his dancing coming to a halt. As soon as his movements stop, it feels like everything instantly ceases to even exist, becoming only frozen blurs of movement around us. Even the music seems to slow down and fade, the bass coming out in the distinct sound of something like a heartbeat or pulse. 9
Its like we're caught up in a single second, a single second that between he and I could last forever and ever.10
His mysterious eyes flicker about my face in rapid eye movements and I see the slitted pupil re-adjust themselves. A long tongue slithers from plump lips and my eyes immediately catch sight of the fork at the end. He reaches up and runs a hand through the thick black curls winding around his face before hastily moving it over to my face. His fingers, long and bony, feel absolutely cold to the touch as the caress my cheek, the fingernails raking my flesh slightly.11
"Ven conmigo, mi amor," he purrs as he leans closer, his tongue flicking across my other cheek.12
There was something about him that lured me in, and I wish I hadn't been.
Author notes
Dude, I don't even know xD
I wrote something out after the concert so if it doesn't make sense, beg pardon because I'm friggin' tired.
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Wow, this story was awesome! It was so mysterious and creepy. I loved your descriptions of everything. Keep writing.
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Wow this was great! It had awesome discription and it makes me wonder what will happen to the girl. Few grammer errors, but that doesn't matter, like you said you were tired!
~Dakota -
Whoa bro
That like, totally blew my mind!
This was most excellent for just a blurb, a few grammical errors but I won't crack on you about that since you wrote this so late. I understand when mistakes barge in.
When I half way throgh this it sorta made me think of Mandy and Nat, only if Nat were human and Mandy was a demon.
Magnificant though!
Lovebird~
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Everything about then(*M) scream inhuman, stay away, but at the same time I can't help but be sucked in by them.
Only thing I caught..
Sounds very creepy, Stary. O.o
Me loves it though =]
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I'm with the rest this is amazing and you do have a gift for making things come alive in your description..for some reason I read this and thought Jackle and Hyde or whatever. Keep it up! This really looks like it could be going somewhere.
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Thank you so much!
Like I said, I'm not sure if I'm going to run anywhere with this, but still, the comments are deeply appreciated. I'm glad someone likes my work.
♥
=]
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Heh. You switched into past tense in the third paragraph.
It makes some sense, though I'm not entirely sure what's going on. Are they vampires? Some kind of demon? Hm. I think when you get more conscious, you could add more to this and throw in different senses.
It looks very good, Kitty. Certainly promising. -
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Lawl
Shaddup I was running on low last night xD
She's human, or something along those lines, and the boy is supposed to be of an inhuman species, not really specified.
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dude i love this, its late and i just read it, and i likes it a lot. i hope you make this into something cause it sounds good so far! like i said earlier i love the way you write descrpitions i can totally imagine this entire scene in my head. despite being as tired as i am. good job star keep it up!
Mira :]
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Thank you mucho, Mira ♥
I donno if I'm gonna ad much or if I'm gonna add anything, but I have to say, I certainly am proud of this piece because lets face it, I was losing it this morning xD
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