It is that day again1
Where I must go through the pain2
That you have put me through each week3
Insert my tip into the electric sharpener4
It won't do any harm5
Just grind away at my skin6
Unleash my graphite blood7
Which points at the sheet8
The sheet that acts as a bandage9
Letting the gore10
Of my wound11
Become dull12
My crimson blood fills my bandage13
With scribbles, doodles, and anything imaginable14
Except a new life15
And then you are not pleased by what you see16
On that sheet of paper17
And force my precious hair18
To be ruined19
To erase my own DNA20
My life decreases on sharpening day21
Life was at its peak in the plastic packaging22
But now I am dieing23
Because of you24
I am just a dull pencil25
Author notes
Ok, basically, I used most of the choices given...because a pencil is an inanimate object. I also used some horror/fantasy...AHH SHARPENING DAY! LOL!
Well, I enjoyed this contest...and I am sorry that this is not a story...but in a way, it is. Each poem tells a story.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Wow, this is awesome. (You really like pencil sharpeners, don't you?
) Great metaphor in this piece! Excellent! Vivid, and deep.
-Moose: OUT -
Congratulations. There is a interesting "psychopatic" or frenetic atmosphere in your poem...once again, congratulations...
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I would say that you are very sharp my dear. Once again your vision of a personified world with the inanimate taking on its own expression of likes and dislikes, desires. We would all have to become sensitive if the world we used talked back to us. You once again have managed to delight me to a great degree. Love, Tom B.
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Hehehe I liked this. the fact that you compared cutting to sharpening a pencil is amazingly funny and creative. there is one thing though... I think the word "cromson" should be banned from poetry for at least 20 years before being allowed to be used again. But other than that it was great! Keep up the great work!!
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Terrific
I think you sure summoned up life for many of us dull pencils. Great job! -
good job--it's ok that it's not a story, you did a good job describing the emotions. I was really surprised that someone chose this topic, and am glad i decided on this one instead of the other on i was going to use
~Kitty
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Fabulous
I loved the way that you wrote this poem. It was especially confusing in the beginning and that kept me reading 'cause I wanted to know what would happen. It was really great. -
wow, an amazing write and a very interesting poin of view. Yet we can easily relate it metaphorically to our own dull lives...*clapping* good job!
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TRICKY AND MARVELOUS
oh my goodness! that is so great! i absolutely had NO idea where you were going with this. it had me hooked. great write!
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