He died a hero

Your son died a hero
I hope you're very proud
Although you won't have him
to hug or to hold
he did just as he should.1


Your husband died a hero
I hope you're very proud
Although he won't be there
When your child is born
He did just as he should.2


Your father died a hero
I hope you're very proud
Although you never met him
Or had him teach you the things a father does
He did just as he should.3


He died a hero
You should be proud
He fought the raging fire
Until the very end
Trying to protect what he could
He did just as he should.

Author notes

Inspired by the fires going on in California right now. This poem started to form yesterday after I heard the story of the two fire fighters whose truck went over the side and went into the flames or something. One of them had a wife three weeks away from having their first child. It was such a depressing story.

So this is my first real attempt at non forced poetry. As in this is the first time I've written a poem without it being for a class. So sorry if it's not that good. Poetry's not my thing.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Farhan gold member
    November 6

    Edit | Reply

    Vrey strong!

    I like the idea behind the poem. But still it needs improvement. I mean, idea is good, flow is nice but this is not what you call the best. You should describe different perspectives in each stanza. The whole poem sounds like the same. Sorry if I am sounding harsh but I am saying all this because i think that with a little effort and you can go fine. You should add some more details.
    But still this was very good to read. Thanks for giving me such a nice poem and good luck in the contest.
    Happy writing.
    Farhan.


  • IceCrystal7
    October 18
    Edit | Reply
    It has such a beautiful and powerful message behind it. God watch over the people in these fires.


  • Lullaby.x
    September 21

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this was very good and I agree with lavanya, it was indeed very strong. It had a wonderful point to it, that was impcating and inspirational, and really can make a person think. I like <3!

    ~Lullaby.x


  • lavanya
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    very strong poem, every stanza have a kind of heat . right now i m feeling energy of emotions in me ....well done you did nice job.
    keep writing and good luck.


  • TheLoneWolf
    September 3

    Edit | Reply
    you know...this reminds me of the revolutionary war, because everyone would be fighting and a lot of times peoples entire family would be killed, with the exception of the women. lol.
    but great job.

1 - 5 of 5