These images that spread across my mind don't frighten me anymore. They are menial to me. You might find what I see disturbing. I did too, at the beginning. When your whole world shatters again and again; when reality itself is destroyed, you are left without emotion. Compassion, anger, hatred, sadness...none of these exist within me anymore. Not after...1
It had begun what seemed like an ordinary day. The alarm blaring in my ear, the warm water splashing against my face, the feeling of my clothes rubbing against my skin...all that you would expect for a normal get-ready phase for school.2
While I awaited my ride, I noticed that some things were...seemingly out of place. No one was home, but I was able to brush it off by announcing to myself everyone had left before I awoke. I also noticed there were no cars driving by. The world to me seemed...empty at that moment.3
I waited for what seemed like an eternity before I noticed the vehicle creep into my driveway. I walked out oto it and hopped inside. Uttering a greeting, I slid back into my seat. We backed out and continued on our route to school.4
As I had said before, I hadn't seen any vehicles while waiting. Now the street was VERY empty. Mind you, it was very foggy, and I couldn't see within ten feet of the vehicle, but even from what I could see, thre was no traffic. We encountered no other vehicles on our whole way to school. During the ride, we uttered no words.5
The parking lot was empty, except for a select few scattered cars. My friend and I exited the car and began walking toward the building.6
"Maybe it's just me, but everything feels...empty."7
"Something's missing. And in it's place, there's something else. Something that shouldn't be here."8
I nodded my head in an agreement as we entered the bulding. There was almost no one else there. It was completely empty, save two people.9
Author notes
PLEASE NOTE: I dreamed this, and this is totally fictional. There are no intentions of any of this.
ANOTHER NOTE: To all of you who commented, please comment again when I finish. Sorry I wasn't clear on that. I started typing it the last 10 minutes of school...didn't finish typing it all up. I'll let you all know when I'm done.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Did you ever finish this?
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I agree totally with XercesRah. Like I'd be able to say all that...
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The story is well written, but so far there's nothing original. Is this indeed the beginning of a series? If so, I wonder if you might accept a few suggestions: firstly, you should specify just who is giving him the ride to school. We were left simply to assume, and since the story started off on an unnerving note, it's easy to assume the worst, especially since the narrator doesn't even bother to look at the person giving him the ride. Also, should be become a series, you should consider delving further into the histories of the characters. If you know the characters, and can relate to them, it's a good deal easier to feel angst, or worry when a troublesome moment arrives.
All in all, an interesting start, with the potential to become something creepy.
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Hmmmmmm, do I smell a sequel??? It was really quite interesting, you should continue it and make it a storrrryy! Nifty. Applause for j00.
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hey i love this stories and it kinda gave me chills when i read it but i loved reading it you are a great write and this was a awesome write keep up your great work!!!!!!!!!
love ya
*becca*
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