love sucks (not a story,just venting in a very story kinda way)

For as long as i've been a teenager i've given so many words of advice to my friends about their relationships.1

"dump him if hes treating you badly"2

i've said that one a million different times.3

Why can't I take my own advice?4

Why does my heart swell up and fall to my stomache every time I even think about it?5

He doesn't love me the way I need to be loved.6

He doesn't care about how his absence makes me feel,why should I care about him and his feelings?7

I wish I were strong enough to take my own advice.8

But as it always goes,I give in and wait for him to become prince charming.9

I wait for him to really see me for the first time in a long time and say "I love you so much amanda"10

That'll never happen.11

He is a man.12

Men lie.Men change their minds just as surley as he is changing his.13

Maybe i'm letting it slide because everytime I think about leaving him,I remember the shy 17 year old boy I met so long ago.14

That hurts me.15

have we really changed so much in 2 years?16

what happend?17

I love him with everything in me.18

He loves me too..just not like he did.19

I hate the thought of losing him.20

he has kept me together for so long,without him,I might really break down and go crazy.21

yes,I realize that I am crazy already.Why do I need him so god damn much?22

He is just a man.23

isn't he?24

I'm not sure anymore.25