This story was purely written for fun. These are not my characters. (I hope that was enough) Also, I am disregarding what happened in some of the books. This is after Harry graduates from Hogwarts.1
-------------------------------------------------------------------------2
All was quiet in the city of Brookshire, England. Night had fallen upon the usually noisy city, bringing an aura of tranquility on everyone. Harry Potter was strolling down the street. It was unusually empty. Only about four or five Muggle vehicles had passed by in the last ten minutes. Harry's small flat was down the street. He was just interested in grabbing a quick snack at the local pub. 3
Harry had recently moved into a flat on North Brookshire Street. It was not luxury living, but it was good enough for an Auror-in-training. Every day, he biked to London on an old Muggle bike, entered Diagon Alley, and had his daily classes which prepared him to be an Auror, taught by the great Albus Dumbledore.4
However, lately, Harry was not feeling like himself. There were some times when he had to be escorted back to his flat by the Muggle police and he didn't even remember why. He was acting strange, according to others. 5
Harry kept walking down the street. It was very dark and quiet. The only noise seemed to be the occasional hoot of an owl and his footsteps on the ground. Tonight, there was no moon or stars out, strangely enough. The only light was small, dim, yellow circles of light being cast from the streetlights. Then, something peculiar happened. The streetlight above Harry's head turned off. Then another, and another. One by one, they all turned off, suddenly plunging the street into total darkness.6
Although being an Auror required courage, Harry found himself being scared. Was it really that important to get a snack? He asked himself that question. Then, Harry took a deep breath and started walking a bit faster. He had taken a few more steps when he realized that it had gotten unnaturally cold on the streets, despite the fact that it was the middle of April. 7
All of a sudden, Harry felt like he had been dipped in a large bucket of ice. Â He was deathly cold. When he looked into a shop window, he was horrified to see that his body was emitting a strange glow, his eyes had turned green, and his feet were not touching the ground. Everything around him seemed to lose its color. And then, Harry realized that he was possessed by a spirit beyond his control!8
TO BE CONTINUED!9
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
Nice!
That's awsome. I don't know if you've read the sixth book but Dumbledore dies!! Anyway, i'll just imagine that he didn't.overall: 6.
-
I am glad you are so interested in my stories. Thank you for your support.
-
To: bassclarinetbuddy92
From: Eagle girl
I really agree with Queen Maab - I want more too. How does Harry get rid of the spirit? Does he get rid of the spirit? Does he have to do anything as a final test? What are his classmates like? Are Ron and Hermione there to?
Please I really want answers! Even if it is just to a few questions!
Send me the link when you have wrote it - PLEASE! -
Gladly. I'll get started.
-
Okay... What happens next? I want to read the continued part of the "to be continued" screw grammer right now. Get the plot out, then go back and make corrections. I have to read what happens next. Send me the link if you don't finish it in time to enter it into this contest.
Maab -
Thank you so much for taking time to review this. Usually, I'm better on grammar, seeing as I am a grammar/usage freak!
Anyway, thanx again.
Evan -
hey Evan! you told me to review so here I am. Your story has lots of potential, I would definitely love it if you would develop the story further (or as far as you intend it to go). This is good content wise, but there are just a few errors that you made, for example this grammatical one where you said "There WAS moon and stars..." that should be corrected. I would suggest that you write your stories on a program like word, so that you can have it spell- and grammar checked automatically. Otherwise you'll get loads of comments where people just pick up on those errors. Also... I can tell that you're American
(I already knew before reading that you were btw) because of the name of your town, Brookshire -- usually, in England, the suffix -shire is used to denote a county, which is England's equivalent of a state in the US. e.g. you get Gloucestershire, but there is no town called 'Gloucestershire', however there is a city called Gloucester in England. Just thought you might like to know that. Anyway. I hope you are alright, and that this was helpful.
You have a talent for leaving the audience on a cliffhanger, which is a good incentive, making sure they WILL come back to read it. Hope you keep it going.
xXx Montague -
Thank you for comment. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I will probably rephrase some parts a little differently, and as you said, use some different pronouns. I'm bad with that. Anyway, thank you for your comment. I hope I win. And I will definitely notify you when I write my next chapter.
Evan -
I enjoyed this piece. You must make a continuance!
Ok, well, you did have a few grammatical errors...like lighted should be lit...but it is alright. I also should suggest using some pronouns instead of saying 'Harry' too much!
Otherwise...this piece was wonderful. It does feel a bit strange to read about Dumbledore giving Harry auror lessons after the last book, though things could change...maybe that certain someone didn't really do the job that changed everything. Maybe the 6th book was just a fluke...we don't know.
Keep up the great work and good luck in the contest!
-
Thank you for your comment. That is a better way to phrase those lines.
-
"When he looked into the window of a nearby shop, to his horror, he discovered that his eyes were now scarlet, his feet weren't touching the ground, and his whole body seemed to have lighted up" 'lit up'
Interesting, i have no idea where this is going but hopefully there will be lots more. Hope you let the group know when the next part comes out. -
Your welcome
-
Thank you.
-
I love HP stories! ( Of course) that's why I'm reading this! Good luck in the contest!
-
Excellent, bro. Good luck in the contest.
Brian
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
12 old applause
