"Red For All The World To See" short story form

My body is shaking.  I open my eyes.  I'm trembling from the freezing cold1

temperatures outside.  I sit up in bed and take a look around me.  Strangely2

nothing looks familiar.  I hop out of bed and walk to the bathroom.  I look3

in the mirror.  I jump back as I find myself looking into the eyes of a man4

I have never seen before, but it's as though that man is me.  I put on the clothes lying on the floor beside me5

and open my bedroom door.  Outside of my door is a long hallway.  Slowly I walk down the hallway until I reach the6

staircase at the end of the hall.  As I move down the staircase into the living room, the numerous pictures hanging on the wall overwhelm me.  All of the pictures are of me, or whoever that7

unfamiliar man in the mirror really is. The house is truly elegant, and I would be a lucky man to live in a8

place like this.  But as good as it all may seem, it is all a mystery, and9

none of it is really mine.  Downstairs I see more pictures.  These pictures are of10

me and a very beautiful woman who is also strangely unfamiliar.  There are11

also pictures of numerous other people who I have never seen before.  I sit12

down on the plush black leather couch in the middle of the living room and turn13

on the television.  I have never seen such a lovely home, filled with so many lovely, 14

and expensive possessions.  And I have never seen a15

man who appears to be happier than the one in the pictures, the one in the16

mirror.  I here a car pull up in the driveway outside, and the car door slam17

shut.  I here footsteps up the pavement, and then the door cracks open.  In18

the door steps a beautiful woman, the same woman from the pictures.  She comes over to19

me and gives me a hug.  I try to pull away, confused as to what was going20

on.  "What's wrong with you?"  She asks, "Can't you even give your own wife21

a hug anymore?"  My heart skipped a beat.  "Wife?" I replied.  "I don't have22

a wife" "my wife is dead".  "What are you talking about?"  She asked.  "Have you gone crazy?"23

I didn't know what was going on, and why.  I pushed her off of me and ran outside.  What was24

this strange place, and what the hell was I doing here.  I'm dead.  I killed25

myself.  I don't know what is happening to me.  I feel as though everything26

I am looking at I am seeing for the first time.  My wife runs after me and27

grabs onto my sleeve.  I throw her off of me.  She starts to cry.  I leave28

her there lying on the ground outside.  I run back into the house and begin searching29

through all of the rooms. I look through all of the closets.  I need to find30

some answers.  I feel as though I've completely lost my mind.  As I am going31

through one of the closets, I come across a gun.  I pick it up.  It is32

loaded.  My wife comes running in the front door.  She runs up to me with33

tears in her eyes.  "What is wrong with you?" she asks, "I'm so confused, do34

you need to talk to me about something?"  My heart begins to race as I am35

overcome with feelings of rage and disgust towards this beautiful woman and36

the unfamiliar world around me.  I grab my wife by the throat and throw her37

to the ground.  She is crying and pleading for me to stop.  She must be just38

as scared and confused as I am about the whole situation.  I begin hitting her, and39

kicking her repetitively and unmercifully.  No matter how much she cries or40

begs me to stop, I can't. For some odd reason I seem to be feeding off of41

her pain, just as i have fed off of my own pain for so many years.42

it feels as though I am no longer aware of my own43

actions.  I'm like a spectator, watching a movie through the eyes of the star.44

I feel this man's pain along with my own building up inside.  I feel as45

though I am going to explode with rage. In a strange way it feels good to46

inflict some of this pain onto somebody else for once.  This beautiful woman47

lay before me, her clothes soaked in blood.  She makes not a sound except48

for an occasional faint whimper.  Inside I feel sadness, and regret.  But it49

doesn't seem like what I feel is important.  She opens her bloody eyes and50

turns her head up towards me, looking deep into my eyes.  She gives me the most51

frightened look.  I can tell by the expression on her face, that she knows52

this is not the same man she has come to know and love. She doesn't know the53

man standing in front of her any more than I do.  I am not the man that she54

fell in love with.  She closes her eyes as I point the barrel of the gun55

down at her head.  I watch as one last teardrop slowly rolls down her cheek.56

By the look on her face it appears that she is already dead.  She seems to57

have had all emotion and feeling stripped from her body.  Suddenly58

I was overcome with a whirlwind of emotions that dropped me to my knees.  I59

lost all control of mind and body.  I pressed the barrel of the gun firmly60

against her forehead and pulled the trigger.  I hear her scream as the61

bullet pierces through her skull, killing her.  Then suddenly everything62

becomes dark.  Off in the distance I see a small flickering light.  I stare at63

the light, curious and afraid.  Once again I have no clue as to what is64

happening to me and where I am.  As I continue to stare I notice the light65

moving closer and closer.  Suddenly the light is right on top of me,66

blinding me.  The air turns cool, and a light wind begins to blow noticeably67

on the back of my neck.  All of the pain and rage I had felt just seconds68

ago now seems to be miles away.  I begin to see things, beautiful things.  I69

begin to see the life of the man I had become, before this horrible day had70

ever occurred.  I cried as I watched.  I watched through this man's eyes,71

the picnics, the birthday parties, and the holidays.  I watched as he played72

while a child.  I watched as he kissed a girl for the first time.  I watched73

him grow up, and graduate from high school.  I watched him meet, and fall in love74

with his childhood sweetheart.  I watched him get married.  I watched as him75

and his wife cuddled together and talked through the countless hours of the night.76

When he was with her it seemed that nothing in the world could ever hurt him. 77

The things i felt inside seemed to be real.  It was as if I had been there during everything,78

I felt as though I had experienced all of this and much more long ago.79

I felt his sorrow when a loved one passed away.  I felt his fear when his80

mother turned out the lights at bedtime.  I felt the loneliness and confusion as he81

watched his father walk out of his life forever.  I felt his pride when he82

became successful despite his fathers absence.  I felt his happiness when83

his beautiful fiancé said yes.  I have never felt so peaceful and secure in84

all my life.  I have finally awoken from a life spent sad and alone.  But85

now the regret starts to set in.  As I feel my soul climb back into my body,86

I come to reality about what I have done.  As I continue to watch my life go87

by through the eyes of another man, I see something that touches me more then88

everything else combined.  I am overtaken by a swarm of89

emotions so wonderful I can't describe it without a river of tears. His new90

wife tells him that she is pregnant, and it's a boy, he has always dreamed91

of having a son.  He wants to make up for the way his father use to treat92

him and spoil his child every chance he gets.  The light, and the world93

around me vanished without a trace, and I was back in the living room with a94

gun in my hand.  I looked down at the once beautiful woman before me and95

begin to sob uncontrollably.  I have finally awaken from a lifelong96

nightmare.  I have finally found out who I really am, and what is real.  Now97

I've blown it all away again.  I've destroyed my only chance for true love98

and happiness.  not only have i lost the love of my life through a dream 99

that walks along the lines of reality, I've lost the chance to live the life I've always dreamed of.100

the life i never thought I'd have, but in reality, i had all along.  i close my eyes as tight as i can, hoping to fall asleep yet again.101

hoping that none of this is real, and my love and i may be reunited once again.  my eyes no longer tired, and unable to sleep,   i open wide, and stick the barrel of the gun inside my mouth.  without any hesitation or regret, i pull the trigger, and the light slowly turns to darkness.  i found myself not in heaven, and nowhere near the fiery pits of hell.  i live in a world of darkness, all alone.  i experience no physical torture, but the pain i feel is far worse.  while my soul is lost, and my body dead and rotting away, my heart is still very much alive.  i can remember all of the love, and all of the happy times.  remembering everything i had, and everything I'll never have again.  my wrists do not bleed, and my eyes see nothing but black, and i begin a life of eternal torture and pain brought on from my own  loving memories, and the beating of my very own heart.  one day maybe my heart will finally die, but until then, i will continue to live for eternity, in my very own perception of a place called hell.102