Tales From The Triple Suns (Chapter Ten)

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Everyone has something they keep fiercely private...something that no one else knows about.  No one is to see, hear, or even know about it, and some people will do anything to preserve it at any cost.  Personal issues are at times best kept to one’s self, and sometimes protecting it can have the opposite effect of what a person really needs.2

Craig and I had been dating for about a year, and the nights we spent together were usually at my place.  We slept in his apartment a couple times, but only on the rare occasions when both of his roommates were not there.  On one such time, we were lazing in his bed, relaxing after a night of intense intimacy.  3

Craig finally got up, pulled on a pair of jeans and went to make breakfast as I snuggled in the blankets for a few minutes longer, inhaling his scent and daydreaming.  I reached for my watch to check the time, and accidentally knocked it off the night table.  I sighed in annoyance as I leaned over the side of the bed to fish it out from underneath.  My hand touched something large and flat, and I pulled out an artist’s sketchbook.  I went to put it on the bed so I could finish finding my watch, when the bedroom door opened.4

Craig took one look at me, and was across the room and had snatched the sketchbook out of my hands before I had time to blink.5

“Get one thing straight,” Craig said as he tried to control the anger his voice.  “You don’t ever touch this.” He turned and stormed out of his bedroom.  I stared in shock at the door for a few moments before getting up to put my clothes on.  I jumped as I heard Craig angrily yell “Fuck!” from the living room, and then hurriedly pulled on my shirt.  I walked to the door, listened for a few moments before slowly opening it.  I noticed that my hand shook slightly and clenched them together to stop it.6

Craig was sitting on the couch, legs pulled up and one arm resting on top of them, the sketchbook in his other hand.  I though it best that I leave and I headed towards the door.7

“Cali.”8

I stopped, but didn’t turn to face him.9

“Wait,” he sighed.  I heard him get up and walk towards me.  He stopped behind me and sighed deeply.  “I’m sorry.....I...” He stopped.  “Could you turn around, please?”  I crossed my arms over my chest, but stayed where I was.  He sighed again.  “Fine....I’m sorry....The book is extremely private to me.  After....after I left the army......I just......I didn’t......there were......”  He fell silent.10

I waited for him to continue, but he didn’t say anything for a long while.  I could hear him breathing behind me, and wanted so much to turn around to hold him, but I was still hurt by what had happened in the bedroom.  The book may have been private, but that didn’t give him the right to…I blinked as I realized what he might be hinting at. 11

“After my parents died,” I said softly, “I started having nightmares.  I couldn’t sleep for days, and…” I stopped as the tears threatened to flow.  “A doctor suggested that I do something constructive…” I turned around but didn’t look at him.  “I have a two books of poetry that no one has ever seen.”12

“Yeah,” he whispered.   He looked down at the sketchbook in his hands.  “Yeah.”  His hands tightened around the coils in the book.  “Do you still…”13

“Yeah.”14

He looked at me.  “Don’t go.”15

I finally met his gaze. “I won’t.”  16

We stood there, staring at each other for a minute or so before he turned and walked back to his bedroom.  He came back quickly, without the sketchbook, and resumed his position in front of me.  He reached out and put his fingers on my face, caressing my cheek.  I lightly pushed my face against his fingers, prompting a small smile from him.17

“I don’t want to lose you,” he whispered.18

My heart lifted and I must have smiled, because his own smile got bigger.  His moved his fingers to behind my neck, and gently pulled me towards him.  I looked into his face, studying his deep blue eyes, trying to read something there that I hadn’t seen before.  There had always been traces of some sort of private pain, but somehow it seemed less noticeable than before.  I unconsciously put my hand against his bare chest, and slowly moved it across his muscles.  I paused as I felt his heart beating, and left my hand there.19

I noticed his breathing change, and look up into his face again.  His eyes regarded me with a mixture of curiosity and passion.  I could feel his heartbeat change slightly as he lowered his head and began to nuzzle the side of my face.  His lips found mine as his arms wrapped around me, and I was swept away in the feeling of his kiss.  My hand stayed on his chest, feeling his skin grow warmer, and the rhythmic beat from beneath. 20

The kiss was like no other I had ever experienced.  Soft, yet tempestuous…tender, but wanting…gentle, yet demanding.  My knees threatened to collapse beneath me, but I refused to pull myself from his lips.  I finally moved my hand from between us and put both arms around his neck, running my fingers through his dark hair.  His body moved even closer to mine, sculpting itself into my very being, so it was virtually impossible to tell where I ended and he began.21

He pulled away slightly and gazed into my eyes, then his lips were back on mine with even more passion than before.  I closed my eyes in ecstasy and my knees buckled slightly from the intimacy, causing him to hold me tighter.  Without taking his lips from mine, he lifted me into his arms and carried me back to his bedroom.22

I held onto him tightly, not wanting the body connection to end.  The love we shared that morning was higher than anything I had ever experienced and as I lay in his arms afterwards, I was filled with a new longing for him.23

“Thank you,” he whispered against my skin.  I could only reply with a moan as his fingers danced along my body.  He leaned on his elbow and smiled down at me.  “Finding that book…you helped me realize what’s really important to me.”24

I reached my hand up behind his neck, and pulled him down to be with me.25