Welcome To Hell, Enjoy Your Stay (Chapter Seventeen - Where Are You?)

Chapter Seventeen – Lane’s POV1

Where Are You?2

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I stormed into the house and shoved my way past my parents and into my room. I leapt into bed and pulled the blankets to my chest. I let the tears stream down my cheeks for the millionth time that day.4

Listen Lane, its okay, you’re okay, nothing’s going to happen to you, it’s okay… I tried to rub the tears away, but they just kept falling. With the fear that already overwhelmed me and the sadness from the loss of Julia. I sniffled pathetically. I heard the door creak open and immediately flipped over so I stared at the wall, my back to my father as he stood in the doorway.5

I said nothing, nothing at all. I nibbled at my nails and hugged the blankets closer to me. He walked over and sat at the side of the mattress, then reached over and rested his hand on my side. I ignored him and hugged my knees to my chest.6

“Where have you been baby girl?” Ignore him, ignore him… I sunk my teeth into my wrist and let the pain rip through me. He took my arm and pulled my wrist from my jaw then kissed my head calmly. I doubted he’d be calm if he knew what happened. I shifted shakily then wrapped my arms around him and cried into his shoulder.7

He picked me up, placed me on his lap, and then stroked my blonde hair from my eyes. I just laid there, letting him take care of me, letting him watch over me. I didn’t want to go through this alone.8

“You all right Hon?” He tightened his grip on me and I buried my face against him. I told him what happened in a nearly silent whisper and blubbered the whole while. I wiped my eyes on his shirt as I finished. I gasped shallowly a few times before I let my shaky body relax in his grip. I sniffed again and rubbed my nose with me wrist.9

Just waiting for him to say something… anything, just something to reassure me… I swallowed hard and wiped my eyes on his shirt again. He strengthened his grip and kissed the top of my head, “Its okay Baby, you’re safe now, don’t worry.”10

I blinked the last of the rainfall from my eyes and looked up at him. Big, tall and strong. He was my father and I’d always love him. He’d always love me. I struggled slightly as I pulled from his grasp and climbed out of his lap. I sat beside him on the bed.11

“I love you dad.” He said nothing; he just smiled and kissed my head again. He stood up, “Come on Baby Girl, come and eat some lunch, you must be hungry.” 12

***13

Life is hard, by coping through it is harder. Lunch was okay, I guess. I ate with the family. Christina was finally told what happened to Julia. At last, a meal was filled with peace and quiet. Normally I’d be thankful for such a nice meal, but today, it seemed to be the thing that mattered the least in the world.14

By joining the Resistance I learned a lot. I learned that Jews were taken and brought to Death Camps everyday. I learned that Resistance members were killed on the streets, buried right there, with a number marking the spot. And I learned that no matter how strong Julia was, it was nearly impossible that she’d push her way through this war. That hurt my heart, but there were other things I had to focus on right now. 15

And worrying wouldn’t bring her back.16

It would just make me feel worse.17

I was now pacing down the road with Joshua at me side. The Nazis had stopped looking for him—finally—since the Nazi who said how he thought Joshua looked began to question himself. In my opinion, that was very good luck. His hand was on my back as we walked. I had ended up telling him what happened, and—of course—he had sympathy on me and gave me a hug.18

Whenever he hugged me I knew just by the tightness of his grasp that he longed for Julia. She called her his Jewel; just recently he’d started that. They say you don’t know what you have until it’s gone, they’re right. He’d been getting more and more miserable without his Jewel as time went on.19

I just tried to black out the memory.20

That was all it was; a memory.21

I knew my way probably wasn’t the right way, but it was the easiest way to feel better. I pulled closer to Josh as the thoughts began to sway in my mind. I wanted to shake away the memory, the thoughts. But I knew if I did, my life would be confusing. Julia had always guided me, if I lost hold of the memory… well; the memory was all I had left at this point. I couldn’t even imagine life without it.22

“You okay Lane?” I nodded my head up and down against his side. I heard him sigh then take a deep breath as we walked along. Just a normal, simple walk, but it was nice. At this point, I couldn’t shake the thought of Julia.23

Where are you? I wondered silently, I need you Jules, please come back! I did need her. If she was there when I went to Vesteskov she wouldn’t have let anything happen to me. In fact, if she was here, I would never have gone to Vesteskov.24

Oh, I missed her. I shook my head to clear away the wasted thoughts then looked up at Joshua, he smiled back down. What a fake, half-hearted smile. It only brought down my spirits.25

“She’ll make it Joshua. You know that.” I doubted myself even as I spoke. I didn’t know that she’d be okay, in fact, I doubted she would. But at least I was trying.26

I just hoped trying was good enough.27