Life offers you Love,1
A sugarcoated surprise,2
With an Evil Grin3
***4
Looks awfully big;5
The small tasty Chocolate,6
With none to share with...7
***8
None to snuggle with9
We share the bed- Me above,10
The monsters below...11
***12
Heart knows everything13
What to and what not to want14
But wants everything...15
***16
An epic battle17
Mind faces off with the Heart18
Never has it won...19
***20
I soar up and up21
Searching for the Sky Painter;22
Why Blue? Why not Green?23
***24
Anything is Appreciated!!!
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Nicely written!
Very good work indeed. i liked it very much. Espacially this stanza.
An epic battle17
Mind faces off with the Heart18
Never has it won...19
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this was very well written. I was really cool
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Nicely written.
I like this a lot
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Real cool
The first stanza has great imagery, I like how you show both sides of love, makes it sound realistic and pretty relatable. The fourth stanza as well is really beautifully written, the personification really brings it to life. Awesome
beginning: 5, language: 5, ending: 5.
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Thanks.. glad you liked them
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Cool
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I read this as the last moments before falling asleep. I like the last verse.
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Hehe... Hope they brought you the sleep that you were wishing for...
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Great
Nice.beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
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I love the third one. The last too is quite different.
The first I totally agree with and have to argue with Rorshach, as someone who knows love can be better than the movies (and sometimes much worse), but to me your haiku is saying what he's saying, it's not always what we expect.
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Thanks Toni... Monsters under the bed was one haiku i loved writing... I was searching for any comments on it.. As usual, you are the one striking the exact chord... Glad we both like the same one.
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I was confused by the first line. 'Life offers you love.'
Does it really? It hasn't really featured in my life, or for any of my friends. To me love is a Hollywood film. Expensive, glamorous and completely out of reach.
My favourire haiku here was the last one. It was kinda mad and quirky, made me smile.
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Well, Love and hatred are two exactly similar feelings, those that you come to know long after you have actually started feeling it.
Life really does offer love. It's just that the gift wraps have mixed up with a few other gifts... So, ppl find the gift wrap that was meant to be for love, open it, and find the wrong gift. Shaking their heads, they walk away, giving the Finger to Life. They totally ignore the fact that if there's no love where it was supposed to be, then it's out there somewhere where we were not looking.
There's one condition to be able to successfully find love- The combination of keeping your heart open and being a little foolish. Guess you ppl have been too intelligent to let Love in
All the best
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