What inspires one to write?
Is it dawn or day?
Or break of night?1
What intregues us to be unique?
Is it that bad?
Does it make me freak?2
What compells us to feel love?
Is it fate?
Or a gift fom above?3
What prolonges a happy life?
Is it laughter?
Or is it strife?4
What completes a perfect day?
Is it how we feel?
Or what we say?5
How can life be like a dream?
Can we build it?
Is it too extreme?6
How can we feel so many things?
It seems so simple,
Yet in ears it rings.7
How do we them how we feel?
We seem all so fake,
Though raw and real. 8
How can we share all that we do?
No one gets it,
But just a few.9
So here I sit,
Broken and sore,
I had the sense,
But it is no more.10
Confusion lives,
Enigmas prevail,
I try to get it,
But always fail.11
So lift your head,
For no one knows,
With every day,
Curiosity grows.
Comments
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Ok, I know I am commenting twice, but I am picking a new favorite stanza, lol, though, I still love the other one I chose...
So lift your head,
For no one knows,
With every day,
Curiosity grows.
That part is really good, the rhyming is perfectly on, and it is a wonderful way to close the poem. -
How do we them how we feel?
We seem all so fake,
Though raw and real.
That is an amazing phrase, however, I think it should be "how do we show them how we feel" ?
This had a really cool concept to it, the questions that seem to drive our lives, and at the end, revealing that no one really knows, and we can only wonder, was great!
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Wow... That's beautiful.
Sarah, you really touched on the depth in this, thinking about the complexities and curiosities of life. I liked how you used rhetorical questions for most of the poem, then used statements to either answer them or consider the answers. It unfolded smoothly to that final climax, giving real weight to those final words. Beautiful, stunning work. The only thing I can think of to suggest (if I was being very critical) is to revise the last three stanzas, not because of the words, but because they are all on such a same beat line, the power of the words is lost a little by the perfect rhythm. Try getting in a few longer lines without losing the pulse of the poem. That's the only suggestion I could come up with, and maybe isn't even right xD poetry is not my forte. Thank you for giving me such a beautiful poem to read! <3
~Luck&Love~
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