There was a time, when life was simpler. But it was also much shorter. An age where one went through life, and was done with it; no twisting maze where one discovered their own route, but a straight path. What’s the purpose of that life? Fair question, but remember the people led like sheep. People who’d thrive in the Matrix. I choose my life, albeit filled with pain and unknown turbulence; for it is because I have suffered that I enjoy the good times. An unexamined life is not worth living; so too is one with no mystery or pain.
Author notes
Probably should have picked a subject instead of going with my first few words and winging it, but oh well; it's what I got.
A contest entry
- In 100 Words! by CallMeWhenUrRich.
270 points, ended September 5, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Did I do anything at all in this? Really?
Comments
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I would have to agree with Yemassee. There really doesn't seem to be a clear direction to the piece.
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I don't know. I just think you should have taken one topic and worked on it. It's like you weren't sure what you wanted to say so you jumped around. It doesn't really make a lot of sense and I don't say that to be mean, but to illustrate the importance of understanding your subject before you write it, and limiting yourself to it and to what you understand.
You make statements but never clarify. An example:
"There was a time, when life was simpler. But it was also much shorter."
That is fine, but it means nothing if you don't explain what you mean. You mention a twisting maze, never clarifying what that is, and just haphazardly mention that people are led like sheep. Lead how, and to what, and what was your purpose for mentioning it?
And the rest goes on fairly much the same. Again, I am not trying to be mean, but to show you the importance of knowing what you wish to say before you attempt to say it. -
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1. It was an entry into a contest, meaning I have limited word usage (100 words only). It isn't like I can just add more to describe the images, because I would then run out of space.
2. The piece is short, perhaps a tad confusing, but when taken together the parts you are complaining about individually add up to mean something a lot different. Life was short, simple, and a straight path compared to the life we know where you can get lost in mazes of choices. Someone questions what point that life would have (where everything is clear, there's no real choice, etc.), and it's rebutted by showing how in our lives people are led about like sheep (listen to me, I'm an expert, follow my way). Sometimes an author (poet, whichever) can be at fault; they use symbolism no one gets, confusing language, but this piece is too simple to be that confounding. It seems like you wanted to take issue with every line as it came up instead of digesting the whole thing; remember, all bread recipes are not the sum of the individual parts, but something wholly different than the combined ingredients tasted as singular components (I can taste the salt, flour, etc.). If you still don't get it, even with that explanation, then I would say the issue isn't with me.
3. Also, I even mentioned to some extent that I did kind of just wing this a bit, but that's only to start it off. I didn't just leave it a jumbled mess; I can see how someone might not quite catch all of it, but you can't tell me you couldn't pick up any message from this.
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Did you do anything? Sure as heck did!!!
It is a definite finalist! Amazing piece and so true. I'd definitely preder one up and down life instead of living in obliviousness.
You captured the emotions perfectly. Well done!
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