Suckers

Cigarettes. I don't quite understand the appeal, or the legality of it even, but that's for later, now I flame my hatred of ciggies. Sure lighting stuff on fire is fun, but unless it's food you don't stick it into your mouth. That's just rude. "'ey there Jimbo, would you mind handing me that burnt eraser, I need to get some hot rubber into my mouth because I've just recently given up gayness." Of course you're saying, that was pretty rude of you to say something like that; well yeah it was. So what? Least what I'm doing here is free, and you don't have to read this; I can't force you to deal with my thoughts, seeing as I'm one person, yet lots of smokers can really annoy you with their bullshit. Plus, I'm not addictive; nothing here that makes you have to keep getting more of me, you can drop the habit of doing me (eww..) pretty quick.1

Here's a sad statement about people who buy these things. It says on the package, this stuff will kill you if used CORRECTLY, so don't buy it dumbass, yet they sell it like hot cakes, which is another thing that annoys me; where do you buy those at anymore? Seriously, restaurants sell them but the way the phrase is used you'd think, oh yeah while I'm at the store I'll pick up some hot cakes as a fun, little snack; yet they aren't there. Lame.2

Irregardless, people are always nagging about how it's so hard to stop smoking, and how they should have rights to smoke it up in public, and how smoking is so great. Well, I'll let you all in on a little secret; it's really hard for me to quit smoking. Impossible even; because I never started. It is impossible for me to quit smoking, so suck on that ash tray. Yeah, they should put those on the Truth commercials; well, not if they wanted people to quit smoking but to insult them.. maybe they should put that on, like.. Insult commericals or whatever. 3

Next; if they should be able to smoke in public, why couldn't I do something equally as toxic in public view such as taking a dump. Sure no one wants to see me do that, or smell it, but hey no one wants to breathe in death smoke either so if you want to fight for that stupid idea I'll drown you with a longer list of dumber ones. And while on the subject of public defecation, I think that's all I need to compare smoking to in order for people to understand how bad it sucks. It kills, it hurts people closest to you, it hurts people who don't do it more than people who do (technically, which is the worst kind of gay), it costs way too much, etc. Just don't smoke. 4

Another ridiculous notion; after having a sexual encounter, lighting up a cigarette. What is that all about? I thought sex was a pleasurable thing, why do you need to destress with one of those things? Is it a sort of punishment; a religious ceremony to punish the body for giving in to such sinful bliss? And wouldn't that tick off most people who have to share the bed with you? Don't eat in bed, that's disgusting, getting those crumbs in the sheets that can easily be shaken off or vacuumed if need be. Oh but feel free to light up, ashes in bed don't bug me, or fire burns, or even worse that permanent smell cigarettes just infiltrate everything with. That's no problem, it won't kill the mood or make me kick your ass to the curb. Heck, all things considering, any sane person would already have made a list that could choke an anaconda with why you shouldn't be in my house at all.5

Before I forget, what I will never understand is how it's legal to add nicotine to cigarettes; how can you have an ingredient in a product you sell in a competitive market that is purely an addictive agent? Let's just slop off a little cocaine into every can of soda pop so people become even more addicted to that; if you can do it with cigarettes why not with basic food products? How would that be any more illegal than with something that actually kills people? 6

This product kills you, has ingredients in it that shouldn't be legal for human consumption, and is addictive due to a chemical added for the sole purpose of making you addicted, yet we are protected by the law. In fact, despite how the government is changing some of our practices, they "can't" make it so we are not allowed to add nicotine; we have to ration it down a bit, but we can still add it! Most people might complain, especially seeing how many of our attempts to brainwash the community (especially children) have really been cutback by the government over the years, but we feel some brainwashing is better than nothing.7

None of this makes any sense at all, so I can't even grasp any of this stupid habit whatsoever. It's nonsense, outrageous, and completely bogus. I would love a world where this idiotic, dangerous, and destructive habit with no real benefits was outlawed. Shame we live in a free country where we are allowed to hurt ourselves and our loved ones; you know, as long as it is slow and painful over a long period of time instead of something quick, like spanking. Yep, I can poison and abuse my children with the effects of drugs, but disciplining them with a swat to the rear end, good heavens no. What kind of parent would do that? Gosh, I'm stressed from all this venting.. I need a cigarette..