Chapter 8-(Kevin)

Tomorrow Ashley was coming back to school. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to face her. My arm was still in a cast, since I practically shattered it. I sat in the kitchen eating last night’s Chinese food. I was eating alone as usual and that’s the way I liked it. With the company of my favorite bands playing in the background.1

I was thinking deeply about school tomorrow. How would I be able to look at her when she walks in to my class room knowing what I know? That it was practically my fault she got rapped. Maybe if I found her sooner I could have stopped it. Instead I failed and let another person down.2

I put my fork down, the food tasted bitter now that I had had lost my appetite. Getting up I dumped my plate in to the trash and traveled through my empty apartment. My destination was the shelf across from the basements entrance. The shelf contained the only personal items I owned. It was my track shelf.3

Decorated with knick knacks, trophies, pictures, and just all things track. Some where from the years I was on track, others where from my short time as a coach. Track was my home when I had no home. It was hard to believe there was a time when I didn’t run. There was though, I discovered track the hard way.4

Finally I made it to high school I thought starring up at the largely intimidating building the month before I celebrated my fourteenth birthday with yet another family. I was in high school now and I was not going to let anyone push me around, not any more.5

The first fight was about a week in to school my new family was not pleased. Albert, “Just call me dad” told me sports would straighten me out. He was a big, athletic, baseball obsessed man, but that didn’t stop me from laughing in his face.6

So he played a different card on me. He told me that if I didn’t join something I would get home schooled. I did not want to spend anymore time in that house than I had to. There was just no way I would be stuck rotting away with these flakes. I decided to join something but I was still going to fight. I had to if only to prove him wrong.7

I only chose track because it was the only team that didn’t have cuts. The first day I went there not knowing what to expect. I was blown away by all the different options you could do. I thought all there was to do on track was run. It was love at first try and I had a natural talent for sprinting.8

I still had the occasional fight or two but my status as a star got me out of a lot of trouble. Practice also kept me out of the house. This made me and the people I lived with happy. It wasn’t until tenth grade that it all went wrong.9

He was looking for a fight and that’s all I have to say for myself. Got right up in my face and called me a freak. There was no way I was going to let him get away with that, so I shoved him. He lost his balance and landed with a crash.10

Slow motion that was how he fell. His body getting slower and slower as his head hit the floor. I didn’t mean to push him that hard. There was a thud and blood rushed out from his nose. I leaned down to help him up and apologize. That’s when I felt the punch in the side of my head.11

My skin instantly bruised and I turned just in time to see his friend’s fist coming to punch me again. I managed to dodge it with my quick reflexes. That was about when my instincts kicked in. I was like a wild animal defending himself after being backed into a corner.12

Eventually I managed to get a punch into his gut as teachers where struggling to break us apart. As he doubled over I saw him mouth multiple insults making something inside me snap. I seriously lost it kicking and punching him till he stopped fighting back.13

When I came to my senses I was in cuffs being walk out of the school. Even I couldn’t believe what I did. Some how I managed to luck out. Nobody wanted to press charges once they figured out my past but I still had to be punished. So they gave me community service to work at a camp for kids with troubled pasts.14

The kids took time to grow on me, but for them it was easy to become attached to me. For the first time in my life I felt loved. Having to walk outside the cabin to see the kids waiting out side the door for you. Faces egger to hear the story of the day was the best feeling in the world.15

It was there I discovered I wanted to be a teacher. I loved working with the kids it completely changed me. I also discovered that at the end of the camp I wouldn’t be returning to the same family. I wasn’t what they wanted. I wasn’t what anyone wanted.16

My reputation was different at my new school. I wasn’t the out of control angry kid. Now I was the smart reserved kid who only talked to people on track. My new family was nice but after I left I didn’t keep in touch. Lilly Smalton was the only girl I would have kept in touch with.17

She was beautiful like one of those fragile porcelain dolls my mom never let me touch. Her long silky hair was woven from gold but her hair was nothing compared to her eyes. They where the purest crystal blue eyes. The type of eyes that could entrap you with one glance. She was my first love.18

It seemed like yesterday the day I decided to tell her how I felt. We had been secretly seeing each other for almost a month but I still never said thee words. The air was crisp and the sun seemed to shine a little brighter. There was a slight breeze as I waited for her at our meeting place, the track. After about fifteen minutes the wind started to pick up blowing my thick hair in to my eyes. I started regretting not bringing a jacket.19

Another ten minutes passed, still no sign of her. A cloud was now covering the once bright sun and the pink flowers I bought where starting to wilt. My imagination was getting the better of me. What if she had been kidnapped on the way here? All I knew was something had to have happened. Lilly would never show me up she was to sweet and innocent. She never did anything wrong. Besides wasn’t it just yesterday she said that she only cared for me.20

I just had to let her know the feelings where mutual. Her house wasn’t that far from the school. So I walked slowly partly afraid of what gruesome mess I would find. Her house was huge and intimidating. It’s towering presence completely blocked out the sun.21

I threw the dieing flowers in the trash can in front of her house. She had a balcony outside her room. I made the climb multiple times before. On those clear nights we would look up at the stares wondering what our lives would become.22

My heart was beating fast as I walked up to the sliding door. This was it I thought. This was when I told her that my life was hers and hers alone. My knock on her door was light and gentle. I felt as if I was floating. A few minutes passed no answer.23

I decided she wasn’t home and was right about to turn around when I heard a noise. It was a low noise but I heard it alright some one was in there. I turned back and knocked louder so she could hear me. There was rustling in the room and soon the door slowly opened revealing Lilly’s surprised face.24

“Kevin what are you doing here?” Her melodious voice was a little higher than usual and her hands tightened the bathrobe around her. She probably just had gotten out of the shower.25

“You where supposed to come meet me remember? When you didn’t come I got worried so I came to check on you.” I said not really mad at her. I just really wanted to tell her so bad.26

“I’m so sorry Kevin. I got caught up and it slipped my mind.” Mind she said looking upset.27

“It’s ok it doesn’t matter I’m here now. Lilly I love you! I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” I said happily wrapping my arms around her. Tears where spilling from her perfect crystals.28

“Oh Kevin.” Was all she whispered as she cried in to my arm. I hugged her tighter interpreting her tears as tears of happiness. We stood there for a few moments nither of us moving. When her door slide open.29

“What the hell is this?” Came the voice from the door way. It was Kieran Scott our schools best shot putter. He was every girls dream tall and muscular. His perfectly bronze skin and black hair brought out his green eyes. Kieran’s abs looked like they where painted on as he stood there in his boxers.30

At the moment his face looked far from perfect. Fury pouring out of his eyes that reminded me of Kentucky blue grass. I stood back from Lilly in disbelief. There must have been some other explanation because I couldn’t believe it was what it looked like. Her eyes begged me for forgiveness.31

He charged at me but I dodged him keeping eye contact with her. “Lilly…” I started trying to plead with her to tell me this was just a dream. I gut cut off by a sharp blow to my jaw.32

Tears flowing down my face I did something I had never done before. I didn’t fight back, I gave up. When he was done he left me there with a final kick, Lilly following him in crying. She didn’t even stop to see if I was ok.33

Once the door slammed shut I got up blood pouring down my face staining my clothes. I climbed down her ladder not caring what I must look like to the rest of the world. Numb and cold was how I felt. Nothing was inside me till I saw her at the garden.34

For a split second I thought it was Lilly the resemblance was uncanny. She turned around and caught sight of me blue eyes wide with shock. I quickly noticed hers where not like crystals. Hers where the darkest blue I had ever seen. Her hair was more like honey than gold, and her face still possessed the childlike innocence that she would soon lose.35

“What happened to you?” She said running away from her gardening duties. Her voice sounded so young but she couldn’t have been younger than fourteen. I starred at her trying to decide if I could trust her. She looked so innocent, so sincere, but than so did Lilly.36

“Funny Lilly never mentioned having a sister. Can you give her a message for me?” I asked practically glaring at her. She looked scared and I didn’t blame her. Here I was covered in blood.37

“Sure what ever you want.” She said putting a brave look on her face. I forced myself not to shake her head. Her words proved her innocence. She needed to watch who she made promises like that to.38

“Tell Lilly I hope she’s happy.” I pronounced each word with more venom than the next. I spun around with out looking back until I got to the garbage can. Then I remembered the flowers. “Oh yeah you can give her these.” I threw the dieing flowers across the lawn and took off. I never figured out what she said to Lilly and I didn’t care.39

Lilly called non-stop the first few weeks. I never answered nor did I listen to her messages. By the week month before graduation the calls finely stooped. I had to see his face every day at practice. I stayed home for prom they went together. When graduation came around I was glad I was going to college in Boston. It was on the other side of the country from Lilly. She was staying at some instate college by Los Angeles.40

The plane was about to take off and I was going crazy. My foster family offered to drive me but I went alone. That was the last time I had anything close to a family. Sitting there my mind had to have lost it. I was seeing her every where.41

The flight attendant with the blue eyes. The girl in front of me with the golden blonde hair. I kept on picturing her coming after me and telling me what a big mistake this was. Begging to take her to Boston with me. I was foolish, she never showed. Even as we took off, even as the plane started to hit turbulence.42

I didn’t realize I took a step forward and went tumbling to the ground. I was glade for the pain. It was better than remembering those things. Like that horrible plane ride that almost ended my life.43

Getting up was hard with only one good arm but I managed to pull it off. The apartment was so empty and quiet, void of life. My footsteps echoed threw the whole basement making me feel lonely.44

What did I do to disserve this I thought? There was nothing for me except for school and track, because when I got home it was only me. No one would ever be there for me. I was learning to accept that. Slowly I made my way to my bed. There was a sad feeling in the pit of my stomach weighing me down like a ton of bricks.45