Mommy's And Daddy's Little One And A Half Angel

Part One:1

Wednesday, March 18th , 2007; 7th Grade2

"I'm gonna tell them...They have to know..."3

My thoughts were in line with my actions. It was 10:45 A.M.; the end of Gym class. I stood before my coach, my eyes moist. I was about to breakdown. My heart was demanding to be let free from the rib cage it was bounded in, my mind was yelling, screaming, screeching for the words, the thoughts, the lies to stop, and my throat was slowly closing in on me, suffocating me. This is what happens when you hold a mask over your face from September second to March eighteenth. I've held lies out to the world to see. I've held "joy","love", "concern", "care","happiness"--every good emotion I could for the world to see on my very own face. The mask was being removed, today. She sat at a fold-able table, working on what seemed like the attendance. It was.4

"Coach..." I croaked.5

She continued writing the attendance. "Yes?" she asked, then looked up with a warm smile.6

"Can I go to guidance?" I mumbled.7

"What was that?" she asked, leaning her head up to mine slightly.8

"I need to go to guidance," I said shakily, my voice cracking.9

"Why?" she asked, "Is someone picking on you?"10

I shook my head, and somehow, I told her about how I was feeling. She nodded, and filled a pass out.11

"I hope everything goes well, Kaitlynn. I really do."12

I nodded, sniffling. Walking out of the Gym, I listened to the voices from the locker rooms. They were so loud for such a quiet place, a quiet hall that is.13

The seventh grade hall remained quiet, my small trudging foot steps echoing just a hair over the loud voices that were stabbing my back.. The door to the guidance office seemed so far away, and my feet planted themselves into the tiled ground, my roots drying up in a second, and the my petals wilted too quickly. I was in denial, and the sun was covered by dark heavy rain clouds that wouldn't even rain on me. I removed my head from against the maroon colored lockers door, and wiped my eyes.14

I'm so close, I thought sadly, I won't have to hurt them anymore...15

Ripping my roots from the ground, I picked my cement feet up and walked forward at an agonizing pace. The clouds above followed, encasing me. My sun stayed hidden, deep within the world. My mind flooded within those seconds before I stepped through those doors that led to the infernal torment of Hell itself of the morning.16

---Flash Back.---17

9:45AM18

The halls were too crowded, too small, and it was making me feel very uneasy. Their white tiled walls, holding my guilt in, sneering at me.19

"Demitra..." I asked shakily.20

She stopped her walking, and looked back at me. It was only March but, my coldness was telling me that it was December. So little of me wanted to be warm. My mind and feelings were all numb to my cold severe depression, and I couldn't escape. I had been held hostage since September second. No, not to a serial killer, but to myself - to my issues.21

To tell you the truth, personally, I felt above abnormal in my own eyes. And quite frankly, my issues were indeed normal but, for me...they didn't feel normal at all. I just hated them. My stomach churned as someone knocked shoulders with me from the back.22

"Watch it!" they snapped in disgust at me.23

Demitra drilled holes in the back of the blonde's skull with her death glare. I rubbed my shoulder and walked up to her. Mrs. Donnamarie* stood a few feet away, telling students to get to class. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched her glance at us, concern on her face. I knew she was thinking about how stressed I looked.24

My brown orbs danced with depression, torn, and the sclera of my eyes were blood shot. I had heavy dark circled beneath my eyes, accompanied by bags. My auburn wavy hair was brushed, neat, but stress-fully in my face. My clothing...Well, the black shirt I wore, the collar of it was flipped down but wrinkled as if I had slept in it over night. The dark blue jeans I wore were tattered at the bottom, and wrinkled as well. To be honest, I didn't sleep in them. I just grabbed them out of the dryer and thrown them into my dresser without folding them. They sat like that over night and attained their well given wrinkles.25

I lowered my eyes, glancing up and down as if I was ashamed. I hugged my binder tightly to my chest.26

She sighed. "What?" she asked softly.27

"I'm...I'm gonna go to guidance after first block today..."28

"Don't you have Gym?"29

I nodded, getting knocked in the shoulder again. I stumbled forward slightly, kids snickering, pointing, and laughing.30

"Get out of the way!" the guy yelled over his shoulder.31

"Ew, freaks'..." a girl said as she passed by, disgust written on her face.32

Demitra and I had only been standing there for just a few moments, and this was, mine in general, daily treatment. Demitra turned and began walking. I watched her for a small moment, and like a child realizing his mother is walking away, scurried to her side, walking so close to her that I could smell the kind of shampoo she used to wash her hair the night before, Mint Tea Tree.33

She shook her head, aggravated. "So, you're going to guidance after Gym?"34

I nodded.35

"Bitch." someone hissed in my ear.36

My throat grew tight at the words. "I better get to class," I said quickly, taking a sharp turn into somebody.37

He scoffed. Kids laughed at me.38

"I'm s-sorry!" I said quickly, my voice wavering. Tears were in my eyes.39

The guy narrowed his eyes at me, cussed, and continued on walking. Kids' shook their heads' and murmured about me.40

"Kaitlynn!"41

A tear trickled down my cheek as I stood there. "I'm fine!" I snapped, wiping my eyes. "Just...Just go to class, Demitra!"42

She flinched at the bitterness in my voice, fear on her face as she stepped back.43

"Go on! You're gonna be late!" I snapped angrily. I whirled around, hung my head, sniffled, and descend the five steps that led towards the library. I felt a set of eyes on me.44

"Look at her," a female voice said. "She so small..."45

"I fell bad for her," another noted.46

I glanced over my shoulder, and found Demitra's face red, her eyes moist. I looked away quickly, and continued on towards Gym.47

I was shoulder a few more times, sorries' being let out. I nodded at them as if to say, "It was an accident. Apology accepted."48

I walked into the locker room, and shoved my stuff into my locker after turning the combination's number's and opening the lock. Yana Belling* met me and noticed the tears rolling down my cheeks. She was my only friend. My only friend. I only saw her twice a day whenever I had Gym. On the days that I didn't, I saw her once in Life Science, and that was it.49

"What's wrong?" she asked gently.50

I pulled my Gym shirt over my head. "it's nothing...Please...Don't worry about me..."51

"I'll be fine," I added when she studied me, then pressed her lips into a straight line.52

"Kaitlynn," she said, "You aren't fine if you're crying. Now, tell me. What's wrong."53

I pulled my Gym shorts up, picked up my wrinkled pants, and shirt, and stuffed them into my locker. "I'm fine..." I said, keeping my hand on the door of the locker, my eyes focused on the inside of it.54

"Kaitlynn..." She sighed.55

I looked at her, another tear rolling down my cheek. "I'm fine, Yana...I mean it..."56