Closer Raisa Chapter 4

The mirror over the sink was fogged up and I did something I would have never done at my own place. I wiped away the steam. I watched as the beads of condensation formed on the surface. Some made small rivers, pooling at the frame, some didn’t.1

I let the tears come while the water washed over me. All the feelings I had shoved aside the night I left came rushing to the surface. The betrayal I felt now, the loneliness through the year and the aching need to find Kale and be near him.2

What stood staring back at me was one very pale-faced girl. My cerulean eyes were bloodshot and puffy, like a marshmallow. With my pasty complexion, my freckles stood out like a zit on prom night.3

Kale didn’t add a blow dryer to the items in the sack, so the ringlet curls of my strawberry blond hair that framed my shocked face would have to stay.4

I was stalling. I was hoping Kale would be gone by the time I was done. I didn’t feel like facing him after the whirlwind tantrum I had thrown. Who knew I would react like that?5

The abrasive, white towel fluttering against my thigh and made me want to change. I had pulled out the clothes Kale had bought before getting into the shower. Now I took a better look and groaned. Again he remembered all the details.6

Kale had thought of everything, except the blow dryer. I found a white V-neck shirt with half sleeves, a pair of size eight hip huggers and one pair of black thongs. Thongs weren’t my style, but I remembered Kale liked them.7

I sighed as I slipped them on. He’d never learn. Movement outside the door made me pause. A heavy sigh from the crack in the door lead me to believe Dugan was still waiting for me at the door.8

I hurried then. If Kale was still waiting for me, then it was best I get out there and deal with him.9

I didn’t normally wear make up or my hair down but I made a quick inspection of my face and then walked out the bathroom door.10

***11

Kale shuffled back to the chair by the curtained window. The breakfast he had brought still lingered on the scarred table. He took a drink of coffee as he heard the water running. The bitter liquid burned his stomach as it sloshed around.12

He would never understand Raisa. She ran hot and cold. One minute she was acting like she didn’t care and then the other she was pissed because he had a relationship with someone else. He snorted in the quiet room and Dugan looked up.13

“Never get into a relationship, boy. It’s nothin’ but trouble,” Kale told the dog.14

A low growl issued forth from a Dugan as he kept guard at the door. 15

Kale leaned forward and rested his elbows on khaki covered knees, hanging his hands loosely. “Look dog, I realize you are attached to that woman in the next room, but take it from me, it’s not worth it. When she gets what she wants she’ll throw you out like day old garbage.”16

Dugan sighed and looked away.17

I should leave, Kale thought to himself. She doesn’t want me here. She doesn’t need me. He hung his head as if it was too hard to hold up. His back ached from the tension of this morning. It felt like someone had reached in between his shoulder blades and twisted.18

Beside the confusing emotions this roller coaster was giving him, longing coursed through him. He could imagine how the water was running over bare limbs, how the soap left trails over her skin. He warred with himself on whether to follow her, to make this right. In the end he continued to sit, clenching his fists.19

Finally, after what felt like hours to Kale, the smell of sandalwood and cinnamon preceded Raisa and Kale held in a groan. It was her smell and one he couldn’t resist.20

Dugan’s ears perked up as the door swung open and he moved aside. Raisa walked out wearing what Kale had bought for her and he stopped breathing. White was her color and the shirt clung to her curves.21

She stood with her old clothes tucked under her arm and it took all his willpower to stay where he was, when all he wanted was to take her in his arms, to feel her warm skin against his. He stayed in the chair, ready to spring. 22

He blurted out what he’d wanted to ask for the past year. What he had tried to ask each time he’d picked up the phone, only to hang up before the first ring. “Raisa, why did you leave?”23

As the books I so reverently read would say, my heart jumped into my throat and my stomach dropped. I just stood there with my heart pounding and hands shaking. My hair was still wet, so I didn’t know if it was sweat or water that slipped down my spine.24

I couldn’t speak. I don’t know if I would even if I could. Speech, something we all learn as infants had flown from my capabilities, as a bird flies from the nest when it’s time to leave.25

What was I to say? Many nights before I left I pondered my reasoning for even thinking about leaving. All the bitten nails, all the pulled out hair, never did produce an answer. So I stood there, clutching my day old clothes and looking for an escape.26

“Raisa, did you hear me?” Kale asked breaking the silence.27

I blinked. Still no answer came to me. Finally I looked away and replied, “I really don’t want to do this right now. We’ve bigger problems than your ego.”28

Kale’s mouth dropped and I knew I’d hurt him. He really wanted to have this conversation right this minute. I wasn’t ever going to be ready. I did not contact Kale for almost a year so this conversation would never happen.29

“My ego? You are incredible! You walk out with only a 'see you around' and it’s my ego you bring up?”30

He got up and stalked over to stand inches from me. His warm breath blew feather soft across my cheek, sending chills down my arms. He must have still been drinking coffee while he waited for me. With every breath he exhaled the bitter smell washed over me. I closed my eyes fighting the urge to reach out and touch his cheek. His old whiskers were begging to be caressed.31

I sighed shallow and crunched my eyes tight, fighting both the urge to touch and the urge to punch him. Taking him down would be very satisfying.32

“Look Kale, you want to do this? Fine we’ll do this, but not now. We figure this out first.”33

Kale didn’t look happy, but he held his tongue. He dropped his fists from his hips and I hadn’t realized they were there. I took a step back to give us both space.34

“Fine, I'm gonna shower.”35

He walked around me to the bathroom. I opened my eyes as I heard the door shut and my shoulders slumped. I hadn’t realized how hard that was going to be when I called him.36

***37

The last ten hours had brought one difficulty after another to Kale and he leaned over the sink. What he saw in the rectangular mirror shocked him. His sandy hair was a mess. Sections of it were sticking up in places, giving him a rockstar look. He smirked slightly. That’s when his attention turned to the rest of his face. The day old beard was to be expected. The prickles tickled his palm as he ran his hand down to his chin. What haunted him was how sad his eyes looked. It was as if his world had crashed, once again.38

He didn’t want to admit it, but Raisa had hurt him. He wanted, no, needed to know why she had left. It seemed like their relationship was going well. Every minute was spent together and it was great. Then one day she said she was done. Raise walked away. Kale hadn’t heard from her since then and in one night his life was turned around.39

Kale shook his head. He really wanted this to be done. He needed answers. Kale gripped the sides of the sink tightly. His fingers lipped around the ivory porcelain. 40

Standing right in front of Raisa before, Kale had to press his fists into his hips to keep from grabbing her arms and pulling him to her. Kale knew her soft curves would mold perfectly to him. Her ringlets begged for him to curl them around his fingers, the softness called to him.41

It was very hard for him to walk into the bathroom. So here he was gripping the sink, waiting for the water to warm up.42

***43

I had to get out of there. One more minute there and I would burst. Dugan’s ears perked up and he lunged to his feet to stand beside me.44

“Let’s get out of here Dugan.” With a small woof Dugan lead the way to the door. Although I knew I shouldn’t, I left. Any more time with Kale, in the same room with him would be disastrous. There was too much tension, too much unfinished business between us. I had to get away.45

Sunlight streamed in through the opening of the doorway. Dugan pranced out first. I held my hand on the knob a little longer than necessary as I glanced around the room. Although we’d only spent a few hours here, and most of that was arguing, I was sad to leave it. 46

I sighed deeply as I closed the door one last time.47

***48

Kale’s car was not an option. So I lead Dugan around the corner of the mom and pop motel. Other travelers were busy packing up their cars and I wondered if Kale had paid for one or two nights. I didn’t notice a Do Not Disturb sign hanging from the door, but then again I hadn’t been looking for it.49

I slowly walked past a young family and it made me wonder what my parents were doing. I hadn’t seen them in four years. Did they wonder about me? I had never asked Sunsaray what they had been told. Did they even know I was alive? 50

Dugan trotted at my side, wagging his tail, just happy to be out of the room. His warmth and energy gave me a small amount of comfort. His steady footfalls helped calm my nerves and my heart rate slowed.51

It was mid-morning by this time and the sun was just hitting its high point when Dugan and I turned a corner that lead to a deserted parking lot. I suppose the motel wasn’t busy this time of year. While the front parking lot was filled with cars, this one had the feel of abandonment. 52

Piles of paper gathered under spindly saplings, while weeds grew through cracks in the pavement. A lone cart stood by a door at the end of the building. The door had either been taken off or torn off and had an open mouth appearance.53

Dugan’s fur stood on end and a low, soft growl rumbled from his throat, as we slowly made our way across the shadowy parking lot.54

“You’ve gone far enough Raisa,” came a voice from the shadows.55

I paused. “Ahbree,” I chuckled. “I should have known it was you.”56

A lower chuckle answered mine. “And how were you to know?”57

“Kale.” One word, but this one word said volumes. 58

“Why couldn’t you just stay gone? We were doing so well without you. He hardly mumbled your name in his sleep anymore.”59

This was new to me. I didn’t realize they were still an item. I wasn’t concerned that he called my name, he’d been talking in his sleep since childhood, but I was flattered even if I didn’t want to be.60

Dugan’s growl grew in volume, as he slinked forward. Ahbree’s gun shifted to him as she stepped out of the shadow of a Spruce tree. “Get that thing to stop or I will shoot it.”61

I put a hand on Dugan’s back to stop him. He whined and looked at me as if asking to go for it. “No Dugan, stay with me.”62

Dugan lowered himself to his belly as he quieted, big, liquid brown eyes on me. I patted his head to tell him thanks.63

“Ahbree, I have no power over Kale. He’s a big boy and chooses who and what he wants. Hurting me or even killing me will not make things right for you two.”64

The gun trembled slightly in her small hand. I could see what drew men to her. Her petite frame and innocent doe like eyes were sure to attract attention. The cherry nose and dusting of freckles added to her charm and again the protect me vibe radiated from her. I could see why Kale had wanted her, but I could also see why he had pulled away. There was only so much pretend innocence could get you.65

“It might not, but I will feel better when you’re not here to distract him.” Ahbree took another step into the sunlight.66

“Are you really serious? If Kale finds out it was you, do you really think he’ll have anything to do with you?” I asked in a calm voice. Inside I was trembling. If she would have pressed me I would have folded, but she didn’t and I held my ground. I was hoping Kale would come looking for me soon. For now I needed to stall Ahbree.67

“He’ll never know,” she laughed and her thick chestnut hair fell in her face. “I can make it look like an accident. I’ve been trained, like you. I’ve even got my BOT’s still.” She raised a non-descript black bag.68

I backed away slightly. “An accident in broad daylight? Wow! That’s pretty impressive. Do you think you can pull that off? I mean even I would have trouble with that one.” That felt flimsy even to me but I couldn’t come up with anything better.269

She laughed louder and higher and I cringed. Dugan whined at my feet, but stayed. She was crazy; there was nothing more to say.70

“Ahbree, please, I can help you. I can talk to Kale. Tell him how much he means to you. He’ll listen to me. In no time you two will be together in some remote place. The Company will never have to know. You just need to let me go.”71

“Sunsaray said you would try to talk your way out of this.” Her gun dipped.72

Now I was confused, Sunsaray? When did she come into the picture? “Are you trying to say that Sunsaray is in on this?” I asked delicately.73

“I was with Kale when you called. Sunsaray was already informed. He didn’t even hesitate when you called. Not one word to me. He dressed and told me to leave and to lock up when I left. I knew it was you. You were the only one standing in my way. Kale would have been all mine.” She wiped her forehead, moving her long bangs to the side. 74

“I didn’t know he was with you. I told Sunsaray I was calling Kale. She didn’t stop me. How was I to know? I hadn’t talked to Kale in almost a year?” I held my hands out in surrender.75

Ahbree shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. I know you don’t care. If you had cared you would have known. You are so self-absorbed.”76

I really didn’t know where to go from there. Dugan pushed up against my leg.77

***78

The room was quiet when Kale emerged from the shower. The water had cleared his head and he was better able to think through his troubles.79

His emotions crashed against him like an ocean wave against the sand. But like the sand that let the water strip the top layer away, his emotions lay bare. Stripped like a tree branch being bashed against a cliff.80

Raisa was what he wanted. What every fiber of his being craved. She would see that, once he got dressed. He was determined to make her his. She would see. He threw open the bathroom door fully expecting to duke it out until the end. Kale was let down when the silence of the empty room greeted him.81