"If you have questions," said Hamlet, undressing.1
"Oh, yeah, the writer of this drama," said Othello.2
"With him? He sucks," responded Lear, sadly taking off his crown.3
"However," said Hamlet, "he can not know the whole atmosphere."4
"But he must!" said Othello. "He got me into this situation. Free. Point?"5
"No free points," said Guildenstern, climbing out of his stockings and using them to wipe his make-up. 6
"Objection: many free points, know where to look," said Rosenkrantz. His wig was balding. 7
"Have declined," said Guildenstern.8
"People can not see the point!" screamed Othello. "We are, I am a slave of slaves. Cast from the shackles can be!"9
A closet door opened and a young effeminate-looking man popped his head out. "To do this, you can save for you? Juliet, you can take some more time." The closet door closed, and the sounds of out being made issued from behind it.10
"Dangerous man," said Lear, bitterly.11
Ophelia flounced into the room then, hair streaming behind her, breasts sagging, Adam's apple bobbing. She curtsied to each of the guests and tickled Poor Yorick's bony chin and flounced out. Her deep voice floated back to them, "Now the flowers are gone!"12
Meanwhile Poor skullified Yorick sat on his shelf, watching the human drama unfold beneath him. He opened his mouth and as he was by far the oldest person in the room, the others were quiet and listened.13
"Oh fate and plight of the elderly,
This information is a fine animal.
Nature, the fate of the badger;
Even if abuse
, Prior to the manufacturer, the face
His great work
Petty, insolent outrages.
What we need? This is our fate?
We are bound and removed from the back
Chain from the feet of us. Payment
For something higher, we would climb."14
All was silent, save for the passion of the closeted lovers. The lights dimmed, the curtain fell. I didn't know there were curtains in a dressing room.
Author notes
So, what I did was come up with the dialoque, TP it, then have the reactions stem from that. Poor Yorick's speech is entirely TP'd.
R & G's first three lines of dialogue, which I translated together, came back as "It is doubtful this phrase will ever reach equilibrium." A few others later on did too, though not as many as I expected.
Lear's line "Dangerous man" was originally "Weirdo."
Poor Yorick's original speech, which I TP'd line-by-line:
"Alas for the fated plight of old man,
A beast so fine in intellect,
So cunning of character, so old of fate;
Alas that he can do nothing but rant
Before his maker's face, and turn
The glorious creations around him
Into petty, insolent outrages.
Is this our calling? Is this our fate?
O lift the shackles from our back,
The chains from our feet. Call us
To something higher, and we will ascend."
A contest entry
- To do so, to a translation, please apply for the contest! by Valkyrie.
600 points, ended September 8, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Oh, verymost excellent! I love the dialogue-only-is-TPd effect! Finalist for sure. The speech by Yorick was terribly amusing, and oddly deep here and there. Thanks for entering my silly contest.
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