'Tis a Silly Tale

Once upon a time there was a brave knight. There was also a rather silly astronaut and a potted plant. They all lived in a magical land where it was possible for them to exist in the same time period.1

Our story begins when the astronaut was out looking for his spaceship, which he’d recently misplaced. Suddenly he found himself face-to-stem with the potted plant.2

“Why, hello there little buddy,” the astronaut chuckled as he knelt down to talk to the potted plant, “What’s your name?” He waited several seconds, but the plant didn’t answer. It wasn’t that it couldn’t answer. It was simply that the plant had a rule against speaking to anyone who referred to it as 'little buddy'.3

Having still received no answer the astronaut promptly picked up the plant, swung it over his shoulder and, whistling, strolled away. Going against its own personal rule the plant began protesting wildly.4

“Hey, get off!” it squealed, “Let go of me! Don’t make me call my lawyer!” However, the astronaut continued on his way without even a thought to the potted plant. The plant assumed that this was because the astronaut was incapable of thought. It was not long before the two came across the knight, who was sitting on the side of the road looking dejected.5

“Why, hello there little buddy,” the astronaut chuckled as he knelt down to talk to the knight, “What’s your…”6

“Oh hush, idiot peasant,” the knight moaned, “I’m depressed.”7

“Why is that?” The plant asked as he was finally set down.8

“Because,” The knight burst as he suddenly stood up, accidentally knocking over the potted plant, “I have been rejected by my true love; the princess of yon castle.” He pointed to a space behind the astronaut, who then turned to find that there was indeed a castle only a few feet away.9

“How did I not notice that before?” the toppled-over plant wondered aloud.10

“Notice what? I don’t see a castle.” the astronaut asked as he stared directly at the castle, “All I see is a strongly fortified stone stronghold where royalty might reside.”11

“I think that that’s actually a dictionary definition of a castle,” the plant sighed, “but guess what? I DON’T CARE! Could someone please just put me upright?”12

“It matters not,” the knight went on, “I shall continue on my quest to win fair lady’s heart with or without your help, oh leafy one. I must never give up!”13

“If I had eyes they’d be rolling right now.” the plant mumbled. 14

It was at this point that the princess rounded a corner and walked straight into their midst.15

The knight began stuttering nervously. However the princess wasn’t paying any attention, because at that moment she saw the astronaut. Their eyes met and they knew immediately that it was true love. The astronaut tried to think of the most romantic thing possible to say to the princess.16

“Why, hello there little buddy.” was what he came up with.17

“Oh! You have such a way with words!” The princess cried as she threw herself into the astronaut’s arms. The knight stared for a few seconds before skulking off in a random direction.18

The plant looked around, “Will someone take me away from these morons?”19

But no-one did.20

THE END21