The Little Box

She felt the little box in her pocket and smiled. It was a sad smile, bringing back horrible memories. She brought it out into the light. It was shaped like a cube and its corners were rounded off. It was all covered in black velvet. The old lady juggled the box in her palms, feeling it’s familiar edges.1

‘What’s that, Gran?’ Her little granddaughter asked.2

‘My wedding ring box’3

‘Can I see your wedding ring?’4

‘I don’t have one’ The lady replied.5

‘Why not? Mum has one.’6

‘I lost it’ she lied.7

‘When? How?’8

‘Well, actually... I left it behind’9

‘Where?’10

‘In Germany, during Hitler’s rule’11

‘Big sister was doing a project on Hilter.’12

‘Hmmm....’13

‘Why did you leave it?’14

‘I sold it for money’15

‘How much money?’16

‘Oh, I can’t remember. I’m just glad I got out of there. They had already taken my brother and sister.’ The lady said sadly. ‘But then they killed my father and husband. I never saw them again. You know, they just lined them up with six other men and killed them. Today they would call that murder.’ Her voice was tinted with grief, although she tried to stay calm for her granddaughter. The girl suddenly stopped being interested and sat down on the floor, playing with her dolls. The old lady smiled at her innocence, and sank into her rocking chair. Those hard days were over. Now she was happy. 17

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  • Luo Hanna
    August 30
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    Note: What happened to her husband?

  • I liked it. It was very sweet and simple without being corny. Your begining was especially strong, "bringing back horrible memories" is always a good way to hook the reader. I only have two issues with it on a technical basis. First, the granddaughter seems a bit young to do a project on Hitler. She seems at most seven. She might have heard of the holocaust but she doesn't seem like she'd be studying it. Also, saying they killed her father and she never saw him again is repetitive. You can say she never saw her brother or sister again but we know her father didn't come back as a ghost.
    Other than that, excellent job. You really captured the relationship between the grandmother and the girl with Grandma not shareing to much but not sugarcoating it either. As well as the girl become easily distracted, as small children are wont to do. Great work.