A Eye Opening Party

Mark’s P.O.V.1

Mark Borough walked angrily out of the house, hitting the screen door with the force of an enraged bull. He had enough of being ridiculed for what he saw. He was a teenager and was a senior in high school, old enough to be rid of imaginary people of children. However, he couldn’t deny what he saw. He always saw something that was there to him, but wasn’t there to everyone else. The stupid doctors said that he had hallucinations, nothing serious, but needed to be watched and medicated.2

The medication made him woozy and tired all the time. After two months, he grew angry and threw the drugs down the toilet. His parents didn’t understand the things that he saw and they were afraid that he would hurt himself or something equally as absurd when really the things that he saw were benign and quite harmless.3

After a year of seeing things, his parents grew frustrated and annoyed at what he saw and they were convinced that he was making it up. His father said that if the drugs wouldn’t cure him, a sure beating would. He never spoke of them again and when they jeered him at the dinner table tonight, that was the final straw. 4

He walked down the street aimlessly and he didn’t stop for a full twenty minutes until he heard the laughing coming down from the street. It was a girl’s laugh and it was infectious, warming his heart from the cold anger that he felt before. He walked towards the laughter, following it like a ship follows a lighthouse home in the midst of a hurricane. 5

The girl’s laughter was at the end of the street and as he looked back at where he was, he was surprised that the laughter carried that far. He shrugged and walked up the stairs of the front porch to the house. With every step, the house seemed to be brighter, more in focus with lights that weren’t there when he was looking at the house from the street. The girl’s laughter turned into a torrent of sounds that became a full party with people that sat on the porch straddling the railing and they looked at him with eyes full of gold and purple. 6

He instantly recoiled at the sight and knocked into a person. As he turned, he saw a girl with honey-gold hair and deep blue eyes sprawled haphazardly on the floor from the crash. Her clothes, a short deep green skirt and a navy blue over the shoulder top, were covered in the drinks that she was carrying around before he knocked into her. She looked up and smiled.7

“Ah, a visitor…,” she said, her voice musical as chimes and pleasant to the ear. She grinned and her perfect white teeth shone to create a dazzling smile. She reached up with a hand. “Hi. My name is Adara. Care to help me up, stranger?” She asked, her voice taking on a southern twang.8

He instantly took her hand and lifted her up off the wooden porch. She bounded up and fell into him. She wrapped her other arm around him in an embrace. Mark stood there, stunned that a girl was holding him. The girls at school wouldn’t touch him or they would laugh at him for what he saw. She released him and looked deep into his eyes. Mark, in turn, found himself entranced by her eyes. They were purple with silver flecks in them and it was a struggle to look away from them. 9

Adara’s P.O.V10

Adara looked at him and held her breath. She knew that this day would come. She had been watching him for several weeks and knew that what happened tonight would be the deciding factor in both their lives. She had seen it. The question would be whether he would survive the night intact. She smiled and led him into the house.11

Mark’s P.O.V12

Mark was led inside the house and he saw that the house was an old Victorian that was radically redone to make it look like a college dorm. The music was pumping and yet he couldn’t find any speakers. He found himself in a throng of dancers that were not human. For instance, a guy walked up shirtless and then he turned with his back to Mark and his skin split, let another miniature person out to dance, sealed his back together and walked on like nothing had happen. 13

Mark, of course, was baffled, but still let Adara lead him through the mesh of bodies. One of the people danced in front of Adara and then split seamlessly into two people and after Mark and Adara walked through, they moved back as one person. As they got to the back door, Mark heard a dark laugh coming from where they were walking to.14

The door to the kitchen which was where they were walking through swung open fast and Mark nearly had time to grab Adara and duck before a blue blur flew past them. It was clacking and zooming through the people, sounding high off a drug. As Adara and Mark looked on, Mark could see that the creature stopped and looked to be made of blue smoke with a face that was grinning like an idiot. 15

“Rath!” Adara yelled. “Stop flying around with your head cut off or so help me…”16

The blue being threw his head back and laughed at Adara’s threat. His laugh was a high pitched squeal that hurt the ears. “Try and stop me!” He gathered himself and zoomed towards them at ramming speed.17

Adara calmly stood there and raised a finger toward Rath. She muttered an incantation and just before Rath hit them, he exploded in blue glitter that drifted up to the ceiling. Adara turned and walked into the kitchen. Mark remained behind, curious to see why the glitter went to the ceiling rather than down. Adara came back from the kitchen and handed him a spyglass to magnify what he was seeing. 18

As he focused on the glitter hovering at the top of the room, he saw that the glitter was in fact thousands of miniature versions of the big Rath and they were screeching in that laughter of theirs. Mark laughed and looked at Adara.19

“Wow, that’s incredible.” He looked at her with joy. “I thought that you killed him.”20

Adara smiled. “He can’t be killed by normal means, but he can be shifted into other forms. Come with me.” She held out her hand and led Mark through the kitchen and down the basement stairs.21

The basement was creepy and definitely giving the feeling to Mark as if he was being watched. Adara went into a side room and gestured to him to follow. She had laid out costumes for him, one being a pirate and the other being an English noble. Mark raised his eyebrows at the costumes and Adara laughed at his expression.22

“They’re for the party later tonight. The party upstairs is just the start. Soon, everyone is going to get dressed up in costume. You don’t want to look like a sore thumb now, do you?” She asked, reaching out with one hand to brush the right side of his face.23

He impulsively held it there and looked into her eyes. “No, I wouldn’t want to be the sore thumb. I’ll change.” He said, taking her hand in his. She looked up at him and he leaned forward. She leaned forward at the same time as well and they kissed. It was a quick kiss before Adara left the room to leave him to change. Mark sighed and looked at the costumes and then changed into the English noble costume. 24

As he was changing, he noticed a light coming from a wardrobe next to him. The door was open a crack and the light was shining through. He grew curious and opened the door farther to see what was making the light. As soon as he did, the light brightened and blinded him. He stumbled back and blinked a few times to clear his vision. The spots remained as he reached for the door to the basement and to Adara.25

Adara’s P.O.V.26

She waited for twenty minutes and knew that it didn’t take that long to dress in the costumes. She knocked three times on the door and called his name. She didn’t hear him respond, so she cautiously opened the door and found the room empty. The English noble costume was missing and to her dismay, the door to the wardrobe was open. She gasped and quickly swung open both doors to hopefully find him hiding. 27

Instead, she found nothing, but a soft glow coming from the bottom of the wardrobe and she knew in her gut what had happened. She dropped to her knees and whispered “No, not him…”28

Mark’s P.O.V.29

He opened the door and Adara was missing. She said that she would be waiting for him, but he figured that she grew impatient and was waiting for him upstairs. As he looked around, the basement looked drastically different. Where there was stone walls and empty space before, the basement walls had cuffs and chains on them. The shadows on the wall gave them a menacing visage as he went closer to look at them. 30

He had just touched the cuff link when he heard a blood-curling scream deeper in the basement. He bolted for the stairs and didn’t stop until he slammed the door closed and leaned against it. He heard the same music playing in the main room and he hoped that all of the devices he saw there was for the party. 31

He made his way towards the music and a single long cherry wood table was sitting in the middle of the room. There were many people sitting on top of it, all dressed in black and their bodies were bending over with their faces to the table. He couldn’t see what there were doing and inched closer. 32

One of the people suddenly lifted their head, almost supernaturally fast and turned towards him. It was a young male with intense blue eyes that glowed. His mouth was open and his teeth were sharp and serrated. Blood dripped down his chin to the floor and Mark saw that he was feasting on a body part before he leapt off the table and hissed. Mark recoiled, putting himself up against the door to the kitchen.33

The male laughed “Oh, Adara….” he said in a sing song voice. “Someone’s here to play.” He grinned and looked past him. Mark stiffened as he felt himself be embraced by someone behind him. The arms were scaly and a tongue licked its way up his neck. Mark shuddered and a voice came from behind him.34

“Mark… you taste sssso good.” A female voice said, rolling the s sound like a snake. Mark recognized that voice as Adara and he turned to face her.35

However, this wasn’t the Adara that he was familiar with. Her eyes were slits and yellow. Her body was half snake from the waist down and her arms were scaly and yet still humanoid. The lower half of her body wrapped around him, pinning him in place as her arms wrapped around his neck and she leaned in with her forked tongue licking a trail over his collarbone. He involuntarily shuddered as he saw another man in a black jumpsuit with glowing blue eyes appearing behind her. 36

“I’m going to enjoy thissssss.” She said, still using her tongue. “Prepare for dessssert, boys!” She reared her head back to strike her with her fangs.37

The man behind her grinned and then his face contorted in pain as he looked down at his chest. A silver blade was sticking out of center of it. His hands wrapped around it, trying to dislodge it futilely. He looked up, bowing his neck and screamed, his eyes glowing an even brighter blue before bursting in a dazzling display of light blue sparkles. 38

The sparkles faded as another version of Adara, the one that Mark recognized, raised the gleaming sword and pointed to the main room. Arrows unleashed from unseen archers came up basement stairway to strike the feeding group on the table. Several more creatures burst in color as they died.39

This distracted Adara from biting Mark and she unwrapped herself from him to attack her other self. The two fought fiercely against each other, one of them parrying with the sword, the other with the tail. They were evenly matched, given that they were mirrors of each other. 40

More people came swarming in from the basement. Mark saw that they were from the party and the creatures on the feeding table moved to attack them. Mark hid under the table, watching it all. The creature were easily taken down, however Adara the snake gained the upper hand on her other self and bit on her shoulder. 41

Adara rolled away and her other self slithered in place laughing at her. “You’ve been bitten by a green snake. I have your essence!” She screamed as she opened her mouth fully and sucked the air around her. A wispy green smoke emanating from the bitten Adara trailed a direct line to the snake’s mouth. The bitten Adara looked at Mark and said “Kill her and save me,” as she burst into green smoke and it was sucked up by the snake.42

Mark was stunned and watched in slow motion as the silver sword clattered on the wooden floor. The ring of that sword moved him into action. With one move, he picked up the sword and drove it into the snake’s heart. 43

The snake shrieked and her eyes turned all red and then black before collapsing on the sword dead. Mark thrust the sword out of the snake and she felt on her back. Mark wondered why the snake didn’t burst and he saw a honey glow coming off the snake. 44

One of the partygoers, a Caucasian man with purple eyes and bald head walked up to him and said “What do you see?” 45

Mark looked at him and asked “What does it matter what I see. My sight didn’t save her.”46

The bald man sighed and looked at Mark. “Your sight is very important. You are able to see things that aren’t there for the rest of it. Think of it as seeing infrared vision.” He smiled, looking at the snake corpse. “Now, what do you see?”47

Mark looked and saw the honey light coming from the corpse, but it was slowly fading. “I see a honey color coming from the snake; however, it’s going away.”48

The man rushed to the side of the snake, taking Mark and forcing him to his knees beside the creature. “She kissed you and that left a part of her in you. Her species doesn’t kiss unless they mean it.” He said, gesturing for Mark to kiss the snake.49

“But I kissed her, she didn’t kiss me.” Mark said, almost in a panic.50

The bald man waved it off “Doesn’t matter. She’s a succubus and they always leave a part of themselves with the last person that they kiss. Think of it as an insurance policy if something goes wrong. Just think on the kiss that she gave you and she’ll come back to us.” He stood and stepped back to give Mark room.51

Mark bent over and saw the honey color dim and pulse. He clutched the memory of her soft lips, her mischievous smile and the feel of her skin as he kissed the cold dead lips of the snake. 52

He heard laughter in his head and he opened his eyes as he felt a flood of warmth enter his nose and his mouth. He lurched up and reeled backwards, falling on the table. He felt the warmth turn to excruciating pain, a white-hot burn that seared his veins and then all he saw was black.53

He woke to a sumptuous bed with red silk sheets and soft pillows. He was nude from the waist up and the rest of him was covered by the sheets. He looked around to see Adara standing at the foot of the bed, looking at him with a sad smile.54

“I had envisioned our time together to be much later and a bit different, but desperate times call for desperate measures. We are in your mind and I know that your body is in pain right now. That’s because two spirits cannot occupy the same body. Since I’m a succubus, I exist in spirit, however, my alternate self tried to consume me and I have barely enough energy to make this work. I need your energy to make a new body.”55

She had come to sit on the bed and she was dressed in a red gown that accentuated her curves. “How would this happen?” Mark asked.56

“I would feed on your lifeforce during sex.” She smiled as Mark’s jaw dropped. “Yes, I have to have sex with you in order for this to work. Are you willing?”57

Mark thought about it, even though he was attracted to her, he didn’t know the side effects. He hesitated and Adara sensed it. She laid a hand on his arm.58

“The side effects are very minor. You may grow attached to me and our climax will be like nothing you have ever felt before. A powerful joining, I believe that we will be.” She smiled and kissed his cheek. “I promise you that I will try to make this as painless as possible.” Her hand came to rest on his cheek, but Mark didn’t feel it.59

He looked at her hand which was fading and becoming see-through. He looked up at her face and her image was fading away. She smiled sadly as she said, “It’s your decision. I won’t force you. I would rather fade away than force you into something you didn’t want to do.” She took back her hand.60

Mark clutched her hand and with that touch, her image solidified. “I’ve decided to save you. I’m willing to do this for you.” With that said he rolled her over and kissed her deeply. He moved the sheets aside and held her in his arms as he kissed his way down her body. He made sweet passionate love to her for hours and each time they climaxed, he saw light go from his body to hers until she was glowing, looking like light was trapped in her skin. 61

After a final endless climax, she kissed him and said, “I have to leave, but I want you to stay when I come back. I have so many wonderful things to show you.”62

The world faded to black and he came back to himself with fleeting images. The bald man standing over him… the green smoke billowing out of him and forming into Adara… she looking over him and talking to others and then blackness again.63

He woke to birds chirping in the distance. A robin had come close to the windowsill next to him, looking for food. The song that the robin sang was most beautiful, but not as beautiful as the woman in his arms.64

Nestled in the crook of his arm, lay Adara. She was sprawled over him and was clutching him tightly even though she was very much asleep. He grinned and couldn’t believe his luck. As he lay there listening to the birds sing, he wondered what other treasures and adventures she had in store for him and how a kiss could turn everything upside down.65

Author notes

Ever have a really wild party? This would be it

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Lady Pixie Greeters member
    August 17

    Edit | Reply
    This was wonderfully detailed and an intriguing story. I enjoyed it... and the characterization was good. It was long, and I liked that because it didn't feel rushed

    I did catch some things:

    P15:
    The door to the kitchen which was where they were walking through swung open fast and Mark nearly had time to grab Adara and duck before a blue blur flew past them.

    either get rid of 'which was where they were walking through' or add a comma after kitchen, and a comma after through- for smoother flow.

    P16:
    “Stop flying around with your head cut off or so help me…”

    does the creature actually not have a head? try re-wording this to read more like "Stop flying around like you have your head cut off or so help me..."

    P37:
    She reared her head back to strike her with her fangs.

    stike her with her? I think you meant 'strike him with her'

    P41:
    The creature were easily taken down, however Adara the snake gained the upper hand on her other self and bit on her shoulder.

    creatures
    semi-colon instead of comma after down.
    comma after however


    P44:
    Mark thrust the sword out of the snake and she felt on her back.

    fell, not felt

    P61:
    He made sweet passionate love to her for hours and each time they climaxed, he saw light go from his body to hers until she was glowing, looking like light was trapped in her skin.

    no need for the the word 'looking'



    Overall, this was an enjoyable read. I liked the action in this and plot line of the succubus. Job well done and thank you for entering this in the contest!

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 5.