In a graveyard just for fun
Came some teens who were quite young
They came before it was midnight
And planned to stay till morning light1
The boys all acted brave and tough
The girls seemed to be scared enough
They teased each other by tombstones
And dared each other to be alone2
Perhaps things would have been okay
If they had chosen not to stay
At midnight the dead came to life
And then began the evil strife3
One by one the teens disappeared
The ghosts were real which they feared
Haunted zombies in the night
Collecting teens before daylight4
And now the living joined the dead
What seemed like fun was death instead
The zombies ate all of the teens
But they won't eat those turnip greens5
In a list
Comments
1 - 38 of 38
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I really enjoyed this little ditty. Love the background- and those teenagers- don't they know the dead come to life at midnight?
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Hi Solunastar!
How are you today? It's good to see you!
When I first joined Allpoetry, one of Storywrite's seven sister sites, I wrote mostly poetry and songs. April of 2005 I wrote my first story and began to write more and more stories. I've got more than 300 poems at Allpoetry, but my accounts there are pretty inactive. I rarely go there anymore. Most of my poetry is not really that good, but most of my songs have commercial potential. If you'd like to hear some of them while you surf, you can click the large CD cover on my profile and then click 'Play all'. I've only got sixteen songs there, I've got forty more or so yet to post that have been recorded; I just haven't got around to it.
Andy
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nice back ground andy your font kinda gave away your name you used it on one of the poems in the last round tie the font with the ever reaching background...and your name is all over your submittions lol so much for anonymous...like this poem though reminds me of the movie frighteners and the music video thriller.
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Hi William!
It's not I who tries to hide, it's the system that attempts to keep me anonymous
. I prefer being known
.
I had fun with this little poem. Nothing like feeding some teens to some zombies for a bit of entertainment.
Thanks for hosting and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it.
Andy
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Hi Andy!
This was a very good poem. Not scary though but still a good piece. I liked it very much.
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Hi Farhan!
I've been told that this poem needs work with rhyme and rhythm. I may get to it someday.
I'm glad that you like this poem.
It was mostly for fun.
Andy
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pretty funny...even dead people hate to eat their veggies...i don't guess they will help them with anything, anyway...this was pretty visible, but i think you should work on your meter a bit more...it doesn't flow off the tongue too well...
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Hi there, Morbid!
Thanks so much for reading me.
You're right, the meter could be improved. This was sort of a rush jub that I've never gone back to work over again. I had fun writing it, though. Maybe sometime I'll try to smooth it out.
Andy
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LOL Nice poem. Short and funny. I like it. Poor teens, though. I'd never stay in a grave yard for fun. :[ I'm too much of a wimp.
I was reading the comments below and saw that have written a few supernatural stories. I might read them. xD You see, I'm picky when it comes to reading an entire book. :] Or novel..
good job on this. -
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Hi TS!
Thanks so much for dropping by and reading me. I really appreciate it. I'm very pleased you like this poem.
I enjoy writing dark writes and cannibalism and vore are among my favorite subjects.
I'm just about to finish my first complete book that I've been writing with Geri Fitzsimmons. It's about a serial killer that makes his murders appear suicides.
Andy
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That sounds so cool.
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Thanks
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Humorous indeed!
Thank you!
beginning: 5, language: 5, ending: 5.
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Hi Anaya!
Thanks for stopping by and reading this little poem. I'm glad you found the humor with the vore.
Andy
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I enjoyed this humorous piece.
I offer my brainz to you kind sir. -
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Hi Diaboro!
You're offering your brainz? You want the zombies to eat your brainz? Well, I guess they eat those, too.
Andy
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Very nice!
I like zombies, we dont seem to see a lot of them on SW. The graveyard game is commonly played and this is another one of the many reasons for me not to join in! Gread job!
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Hi WC!
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it.
I think this is my only zombie write. I've written a bunch of vampire and other monster pieces, though.
What's the graveyard game?
Andy
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Its when people, usually a group of boy and girl teens, go out at night and go into a graveyard. A lot of boys do it to pick on the girls or get them close to them, since the girls hold onto them when they're scared. They like to creep each other out and after a while, people usually start getting freaked out and leaving. The ones who are left standing at daybreak get bragging rights or sometimes it could be a bet and they get money for being brave. A lot of scary stories are based on these little games these teenagers play, like the girl who stood on a grave and got pulled in by the dead person.
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Thanks WC!
Well, I guess then that is kind of what this poem is about.
Andy
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Awesome!
Well witten, I liked it
beginning: 5, ending: 3.
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Hi Violet!
Welcome to Storywrite! I'm a greeter here, let us know if we may be of assistance.
Thanks very much for reading my poem. I'm very pleased that you like it.
Andy, greeter
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Holy Shivers! That's pretty scary! I'll probably have nightmares tonight! LOL!
Very Good though. I like it!
Keep Writing and good luck in the contest!
-Crystal
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Hi Crystal!
Hmm? Were you really scared? There's a lot scarier stuff on television.
Well, I am very glad you like my poem.
Thanks,
Andy
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awesome. I loved the plot, though the flow was choppy in certain areas. One can tell you are not totally comfortable rhyming. I don't like reading forced work. Nevertheless, this poem is amazing. I love the dark sinse of humor it holds. Oh! Even better, everyone thinks its zombies n such, but its really JIMMY! Tina's boyfriend for 6 years!! Wamp wamp wamp.....hah.. i amuse myself.. ^-^ Great write. More blood though. I need more blood and guts and more description of the great process of consumption. Consumption? Is that the right word? I can't find my dictionary
but yeah.. Needs more blood.
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Hi!
I've been rhyming off and on for nearly forty years. I have my better and worse days at it. I personally don't feel that in rhyme verse that it's possible to write it without some forced rhyme. The goal, though, is to make it seem that it was a natural way of speaking, that it occured naturally.
I use Rhymezone.com for my dictionary. It has many valuable tools. I usually have a tab set there when I'm on in case I need to check a definition or spelling.
I'm certain that teens being eaten alive is both bloody and messy. What more could you want*rolf*?
Andy
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Bit too gruesome for my liking, I'm like Graybeard,only i use bacon bones. Well constructed poem though.
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Hi Bob!
I have a bad habit of writing dark stuff. I'm trying to put lighter stuff at this account now and I've opened a separate account for my adult material. I actually felt that this was a children's poem. I'd have put it in the 'Children' category, except I felt older members would enjoy it as well. I didn't want to discourage them.
I'm glad you thought the poem was well constructed. I consider you our resident expert.
Andy
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Hey Andy,
No accounting for taste. I like 'greens'. Stew them up with some ham hocks and mom's secret ingredients. Mmmm. Better that teens any day. Like your poem.
Steve
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Hi Steve!
Turnip greens with ham are great.
I've never tried teens, but if they taste as bad as they behave, they're probably awful.
Thanks for checking out this poem. I'm glad you like it.
Andy
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Great
Great write as usual,I don't like grave yards, there is an old one right beside my yard. Last date 1942, many with out stones with names and dates, the size of childrens graves. One man has three wives out there.Maybe Zombies don't eat veges.
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Hi!
I think that zombies are carnivorous and prefer meat, the human kind. At least, that's what I've picked up from the movies. I think most of my education has come from television.
Thanks for giving this poem a read. I'm glad you like it.
Andy
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Ilove this twisted and dark pome and the photo.
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Hi VL!
Good to see you!
I'm very pleased that you like this poem and the picture. The pictures came from sites listed at Google.
Thanks for dropping by and for all the applause.
Andy
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I really liked the last line. Not sure what it had to do with eating body parts, but it got a chuckle out of me
Nicely done. Good luck in the contest.
Brooke
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Hi Brooke!
Thanks for dropping by and for reading, commenting, and all the applause.
To be honest, turnip greens is a forced rhyme, but it seemed funny at the time. I also thought it might appeal to the kids. With rhyme poetry, most the time it's forced. The trick is to try to give the illusion that it happened naturally!
I always hope for gold, but I'm pretty well happy if I get any trophy to add to my mantle.
Andy
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Very creepy Andy. I'm surprised you wrote something new for a contest.
I enjoyed the rhyming in this and the haunting feel. Nice job as always, good luck!
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Thanks Kagome!
I will sadly have to admit that this poem is not really new. It was hiding over at Allpoetry. I don't often have time anymore to write new for a contest.
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause.
Andy
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