Life And Cries Of You Know Who

Alone in a room (not his own but someone else’s) of a Muggle orphanage was a boy trying to get under a bed. Actually Tom had learned that Simon got a new book, and he knew that Simon always hide his things under his bed. He wanted to check if the books had pages big enough to make paper planes. And yes, the book certainly was suitable. So, the next thing people learned about the book was that it has been stolen by the same ghost who had taken Jimmy's camera, Billy's toy aeroplane, John’s car, Lisa’s doll, Eric’s pen and many more nameless children's countless things.1

Stealing and doing other evil stuff, this is how Tom Riddle grew up.2

Then, when he was going to turn 11, He came. Elbow Bumblebee. Bumblebee told him that he is a You Know What (wizard).Life changed and a day came by and Tom was off to Hogmouth skool of which craft and misery.3

At Hogmouth, although life was different, in a way that Tom had more evil things to do. Like whenever he got bored, he could open the Chamber of secrets; kill a couple of Muggleborns and stuff like that. He could now make horcruxes, jinx his fellow students, and had other great things to do. And he did these things quite easily because he had as much feelings for others as a blunt axe.4

He left Hogmouth with hopes to shine and dreams to glow (like a house on fire). He met his Muggle Father after he had left Hogmouth and bade him goodbye with an open heart. Oh what a loving son he was who made his father’s way easy to heavens. He chose a title, Lord Volleyball, for himself instead of his name, because he thought it a shame to his father’s memory to keep his name. When people got to know his title, people started making fun of him. They started calling him with some very nice names (made by themselves), such as, Lordything,, U-NO-POO, Voldy, He Who Cannot Name Anything, The Dark Dog, Lord Volleything, and many many more. Lord Volleyball also made a title for people foolish enough to follow him. The title was “Bread Eaters” (because he liked bread very much.5

Then one day while he was manicuring his nails, Snivellus Snape came. Snape claimed to have heard a prophecy that the boy who will be born at the end of July will poke Volleyball in the head. But Volleyball didn’t give a damn to Snape or his stupidities and concentrated on manicuring his nails. But when he had finished manicuring his nails, he realized what he had heard and he was shocked. No one had ever known his secret. How could it be? How could the boy know???6

Far away, on 31st July in the home of James and Lily Poker, a boy was born who had green hair and jet black eyes. Our poor Volleyball thought that the prophecy refers to Terry Poker. So he decided to kill him. Snape was an old pal with James so he became worried about his life. He didn’t like Lily or Terry much. So in order to save his childhood friend, Snivellus Snape ceased his Bread Eater services and joined forces with Disorder of the Crow, An organization found by Elbow Bumblebee against Dark Dog. Snivellus Snape became Bumblebee’s spy and started telling him Volleyball’s secrets ever since. 7

As a precaution, the Pokers, decided to remain shut in their house and did some Hocus Pocus around it to keep Dark Dog out of their house (and themselves alive). But Dark Dog had his own dirty ways of sneaking into other’s house. After all once he was a well trained thief. So Voldy got mouldy and took the form of a snake and sneaked through the sewage pipe into James and Lily’s washroom. There he again became a man again. But as he had dirt stuck all over him, so he decided to take a bath before killing the fools. Unfortunately no water came out of shower so he cursed the authorities and entered to send some more gifts to God. He killed James and Lily (in which James tried to protect Terry and died). But when the Dark Dog tried to kill Terry Poker, his own curse rebounded on him and he left the house without a body and was less than a mere ghost. He did not die because the only way to kill him was to poke him in the head (No one had ever poked him since he had made horcruxes).8

11 YEARS PASSED.9

Well, in these 11 years Volleyball didn’t do anything interesting. He just recounted his old days and played tennis with his new snake. His old snake (who was also his girlfriend) had left him after his downfall and married a real snake.10

After 11 years; he met a poor man, Quarrel, who was also going to become a teacher at Hogmouth. Quarrel told him that these days there is a Ninja’s Stone at. He offered Lord Volleyball his head so that Volleyball could himself visit Hogmouth and take the stone. Quarrel also wore a turban so that while Volleyball is be at Hogmouth, no one could not poke him. Volleyball was getting bored by playing tennis continuously and wanted to do something different. And the idea of Ninja’s Stone in his possession was also fascinating. So he accepted Quarrel’s offer.
They went Hogmouth where they went towards the Ninja’s Stone. He was about to take the Ninja’s Stone when Terry Poker came with his friend Rare Flatbottom and this time he was thwarted by a Flatbottom. Dark Dog left the Quarrel’s body and moved again to Albania to continue his Tennis game. Quarrel died at the spot.11

Two more years passed and Volleyball remained unnoticed by anyone in the forest of Albania.1212

During those years, Volleyball and his snake started playing chess because Volleyball was bored of playing Tennis.13

So, after two more years, another man came. This time it was Wormypoop. But Volleyball could not posses his body as Wormypoop had a bad habit of poking his head. Wormypoop knew a way to give Volleyball back his body. So Wormypoop did his own Hocus Pocus and after 39 wrong experiments Volleyball got his body back to him.14

So, Once again “THE DARK DOG HAS RISEN AGAIN”.15

Two more years passed during which Dark Dog tried very hard to kill Terry Poker but Elbow Bumblebee was there to save him.16

Then, one day, while he was taking a bath (after about a year), he had an idea. Why don’t give the dog a bone and steal the treasure??? But the problem was this dog was a hell of a dog. But again, after all, he was The Dark(est) Dog and no dog could stand a chance in front of him. Although it was difficult to buy Bumblebee but he had his own dirty ways of doing things. So he decided to give a hand of friendship to the old bat and ask him to give Terry Poker.17

When he arrived at Hogmouth, it was evening and the school was pretty much empty due to the Christmas holidays. When he was heading towards the headmaster’s office, a Hufflepuff girl saw him and started making fun of him. He became angry and stunned her. And to his Bad luck, Peeves saw the whole seen and started shouting, “MURDER! MURDER! DARKEST DOG DID A MURDER! HELP, HELP”. Rare Flatbottom, passing from a corridor above heard the noise. He tried to see the source of disturbance by hanging from the corridor and during his attempt to do so, he fell. But fortunately, not on the floor on Voldy himself.
You will be thinking that Voldy killed Flatbottom on the spot. But no, it was not the case. Voldy got killed in the scene This was the end of the Dark Dog.. The Darkest Wizard ever got killed by a mere foolish boy. You may be wondering that that what about Terry Poker??? Wasn’t he the one who was destined to kill Lord Volleyball? The prophecy said so. So dear readers, there was no such prophecy at ll. It was a prank played by Snape to fool Voldy. But when Voldy decided to kill his friend, he changed his side and joined Bumblebee.18

So, this was all about the life of Lord Volleyball and his cries.