In Montana, there is this wild gold Stallion. People hunt him because he is so beautiful. They don't hunt him to kill, they hunt him to tame him. This stallion can't be tamed, but he thinks they want to kill him. He's a rare horse because his mother and father are dead. He's the last one remaining. His mother was shot on accident and his father was killed in a fight with another stallion. He stood there and watched his father die, but he thought that there was nothing he could to help his father. If he tried to help, he would get killed. Soon after his fathers death, people tried to catch him. He was way too fast for them and he always out ran them, but no matter what he tried, he couldn't get rid of them. They were always right behind him. Most people call him "Spirit" because he always disappears like he's a spirit or something, but I call him Golden Sobre after Trigger's dad. In a way, Golden Sobre reminds of Trigger's dad because both of them are a beautiful gold color and they both live to run. Now, Trigger is Golden Sobre's on;y son. My Golden Sobre doesn't have a son that is a beautiful golden colored coat. His two sons are a dark, dark brown color and they look like thoroughbreds. For two years people have been trying to capture him, but he always escaped, but on his last day running from these people they chased him toward a cliff. They were surrounding him so he couldn't turn anywhere. The last and only choice he had, he took it. He ran and jumped off the cliff. The people that chased him stopped at the top because they weren't brave enough to jump. That was the end of the last Golden Sobre.1
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Comments
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I think you have a great story plot going on. However, you may not want to 'tell' the reader too much. Try 'showing' the reader what happened. I know this is hard if you're trying to abbreviate the beginning so you can get to the good stuff, but maybe you could try skipping to the good stuff, AND THEN going back and telling the history of the story (which is what you have right now). Just a suggestion- but other than that, this is a really good plot! I hope you'll write more!

