A rose has petals by time they will brown1
A paper with words knowing will yellow 2
Metal will rust like gold on a King's crown3
And all of these things make me feel mellow 4
Thee shall be born, even so, thee shall die 5
Our memories shall live so long, so nice 6
Thus do not fear my memories of thy 7
Will live as long prosper the men and mice8
And if so happens that i die before 9
Do not thou forget that i shall be here 10
Here in your heart down to the center core 11
I will be with you to seduce your fear 12
For as long as men live on Mother Earth 13
Time will remain, but there will still be birth14
Author notes
It was originally a homework assignment, but i changed it around, to actually fit the correct Sonnet format. These things are hard to write ><
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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Wow, i am amazed. I do like the peom, but you made it sound, i dont know REALLY good. Ya, the message is kind of mixed, but you did a great job figuring it out. Thanks for the comment XD
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this is really good! i see that you also followed the pattern of the sonnet without detracting from the poem itself. i really liked the message of your poem- despite how everything will eventually die away, there is still something left- i think, in this case, you were saying memories? i'm not entirely sure about that.
I have to admit, I became a bit confused. There seems to be two messages in your poem- 1. that memories will always endure and 2. that even though something dies, there will still be something there to replace it (last line- "Time will remain but there will still be birth") Maybe you might have to make the point of your poem more obvious so readers can understand it more.
But other than that- great write!
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