IGE Contestant Survey Answers

1. Check this, I’m The Amazing BEM!, ya dig? (Use my full name, babe, not just “BEM” or “Bem.” And don’t forget the exclamation, man!!!)1

2. Hey, so I’m a hep, young dude and a Keraketchoor, got me? So, my race has, duh, no natural form of our own. We make ‘em up by imprintin’ on other species. In my case, I caught these stray broadcasts from Earth and was totally hooked, yunno? I figured I’d model myself after the American and British “pop” music scene, plus the sci-fi conventions of the 50’s and 60’s (being an alien, it was too far out to pass up). So most of the time, I look like a regular hunky humanoid with green skin, antennae, big, black eyes, a slit for a mouth and no visible nose or ears. My threads are based off of stuff worn by different rocker cats I dig.2

3. Yo, so I’m not down with organized religion so much, babe, but I’m totally spiritual, yunno? I know a little astrology and hey, there’s always Peace, Love, and Understanding.3

4. So, I know I’m from Keraketch, right, but I feel like I’m from Earth, man. Ya feel me?4

5. I guess Techno-Level III, man, but I don’t care for labels.5

6. What, like a job? No way, man! Why work for The Man when I could be cruisin’ around the cosmos, hangin’ with hep astro-cats and groovy space-babes? Most you can expect me to make cred on is sellin’ you some interstellar psychedelics. Seriously, want some? Expand your mind, bro.6

7. I’m a pacifist at heart, man, but if I really gotta rough a guy up, my ability to shapeshift lets my body provide any weapon I need.7

8. Like, see above, dude.8

9. Keraketch is, like, a major bummer, yunno? After the Shaper Wars, everything was pretty much nuked to hell. Ever see “This Island Earth”? Pretty much the same thing, save for the mutant bugs with exposed brains. Although, there was that one guy… but he was cool.9

10. “The Amazing BEM! grew up on planet Keraketch, even though Earth is a gazillion times more awesome. Anyways, they kicked him off the planet, so he just drifted around, doin’ his thing. He was a hep cat who always bagged his babes and could play a mean guitar. So maybe he did sell a little Planet X, right, but he was still a cool dude, yunno? I mean, no one ever died from his stuff or anything, so why don’t you pigs just, like, back off or something? Anyways, The Amazing BEM! totally hopes he doesn’t die. Peace out!”10

11. I, uh… honestly, I don’t remember, babe. I sorta went to this party someone was having near a black hole and just sorta ended up here. What’s IGE???11

12. 1.) I’m a hep cat.12

2.) I play a mean guitar and have the voice of a rock god.13

3.) Did I mention I was a hep cat?14

13. 1.) I don’t always remember to put the toilet seat back down. Drives chicks up the wall, no matter what planet they come from.15

2.) Uh… does copious intake of drugs and alcohol count as a weakness? …Nah, that’s crazy-talk. Nevermind.16

3.) I’m just too awesome for some people to deal with, man.17

14. N/A18

15. What is this, some quack scam? You’re just tryin’ to get me locked up in a loony bin, ain’t ya? AIN’T YA???19

16. Quickly, babe, how else do you spend cred?20

17. Who?21

18. What?22

19. Where?23

20. Um… so, where’s the nearest bar, man?