It's a funny phrase--we broke up.1
It's funny, because it implies that someone, somewhere just broke. And that's silly, because people don't just break. Jars break. Cars break. Computers break. But not people. Because you can't just leave people abandoned on some kitchen counter far too close to the edge and knock us down the next morning. Because we can't just go crash on the tile floor and shatter into a million irreplaceable pieces. Because you can't just push us too far on some abandoned highway where the cops don't check until the tires wear down and fall apart entirely. And you can't accidently infect people by leaving them out overnight with their chests squeaking on their hinges and their eyes blinking neon through the dark.2
Because it just takes more than a bit of misplaced gravity or too much friction or neglect to break us.3
Because we're over-thinking it all completely. Because all that it really takes to break up are a few lazily kept words, an ill-rehearsed touch, a misplaced kiss. And then down we'll go, exploding off of each other like little starbursts in the sky.4
Or maybe it'll be different from that.5
Maybe it'll be nothing. It'll be the sort of nothing that seeps through the other's teeth and slip through your ear like poison in the middle of the night while you sleep. And in the morning there'll be a ringing, a small, distant, ringing somewhere in the back of your mind. And you'll just keep ignoring it, thinking to yourself that it's nothing, nothing at all. And it was nothing that was implanted within the folds and crevasses of your brain and there it will grow and grow and grow and grow.6
Until you break.7
And we.8
No.9
I.10
Broke up.11
Author notes
Inspired by The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles. So sad when the wife leaves her husband, telling him that she's gone bad, and him telling her all the while that people can't just go bad.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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Very good.
Really descriptive. I like this poem. It has a good view of the world, and is very well written. -
*whistle* Excellent! How many times have I thought along this line? Very well written, very emotional but without stating the emotions right out. Very wonderful to read!! Great piece, God bless and keep writing!!
~Stefani~
P.S. I really liked the way you ended it. -
Very good
This is very well written.I love it.It flowed well and just i don't know!I t was just very good! -
One of my favourites.
When a person 'breaks', it feels like a snap inside. And this story encapsulated that perfectly. I like this! -
This is absolutely bang-on. I love it.
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very well written piece, loved the narrative. Good ending too. It is a strange phrase, but somehow that's what it feels like-- the relationship breaks, you break.
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Excellent
What great food for thought. Very reflective and thought out very well. This adds a nice perspective to a very common and every-day problem we go through. Your self-expression is admirable, truly. And even more than that, recent experience with a break up really adds to my reaction to this piece. I believe you may have formed the words for a pain and feeling that many others have failed to describe. Very wonderful, I hope to read more of your work soon. -
there's something about the phrase "i broke" that seems to encompass all of lonliness. what an interesting thought...cuz you're right, people don't break.
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this... really got to me. especially having dealt with what i have lately... i love how you have expressed yourself in this.
~tara -
Splended
Maybe we can break. Couples have this invisible bond, like a blanket around them, and harsh words or neglect or bordom stretches it until it can't hold anymore and snaps?
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