Dear Diary..

Dear Diary,
First day of high school today! My new teacher is called Mrs Humdy… She’s nice enough but a bit moody. It’s so scary being at school; not knowing what to expect; not knowing if I’ll make friends. I really hope I do. I met a girl called Sarah today; she’s in a lot of my classes and we sit next to each other… Maybe we’ll become friends. I hope so.
It’s already much better than my old school, maybe this time I’ll be able to convince my father that I’m not a trouble maker. The teachers seem fairer here.
It’s getting late… almost 10pm. I need to get to sleep. Bye.
Kaylin x 1


'The door slammed shut, sending a frightened shiver down her spine. Hot sweat leaked across her face and body as she stood, shaking, in the corner of the girls toilets.
‘Hahaha, look at her!’ an unpleasant shriek of laughter emitted from the dark figure appearing from around the corner. ‘Just look at ickle clumsy Kaylin…’ The voice turned to disgust as she spat the word pathetic in her direction.
She fell to the damp floor, landing amongst the various items of litter left there. Cracked tiles decorated the filthy walls, with broken sinks hanging, half off of their hinges, from them. As they approached a feeling of helplessness and fear overcame her and a deep longing to sink into the ground and disappear took over her thoughts.
Why me? Why me? The words flew through her terrified mind. Why is it always me? The chant continued as the first blow came.'2


Dear Diary,
Second day of school. Ahhh! I can’t believe this is actually happening! Everyone is so nice here, unlike my last school… But anyway, I’m so glad we moved here, even if it was only because my father got transferred – he’s a preacher of the Roman Catholic Church, which automatically makes him an annoying man to live with. I know he means well but the rules are so strict and he expects far too much from me. My last school was hell… at least it sounds like it, the way my father describes hell. I don’t get it though; whenever I ask him why such a loving God could create such a harsh place he gets mad and tells me never to question God’s actions, whom is obviously much smarter than us.
Kaylin x3


'Sleek black hair and a full fringe framed a young girl’s pale features, with blue eyes shining from behind the stray strands scattered across her face. An innocent gleam adored her expression as she glanced around at her current surroundings. She sat perched upon a wooden pew.
At five years of age, she was still blissfully unaware of much of the commotion around her… the only thing that kept the scene real to her were the different stages of talking then singing and the pretty pictures dancing across the glass. Her gaze drifted to a yellow banner positioned left of the large man booming his speech, whom also happened to be her father. Slowly, using her recently acquired skill at deciphering letters, she breathed the syllables she could remember. She stopped at the third when she remembered what they spelt… C-A-T. She loved cats. A daydream, of soft fur gently tickling her fingers as she lovingly stroked the neighbours cat’s delicate body, overcame her trail of thought and left her in a rather cute daze.' 4


Dear Diary,
Sorry for neglecting you… I’ve been busy. Oh and I have great news! Sarah and I went to the cinema today! We are such close friends now, I love it! I love her! We went to see a scary movie and afterwards we stayed at her house, enjoying marshmallows and hot chocolate by her gorgeous dark wood fireplace. My father, being difficult as he always is, disapproves of her. He says she’s impure because she’s not a Catholic. I don’t see the difference to be honest, she has the right to believe in what she wants, but father doesn’t agree. Oh… that reminds me. Church tomorrow. I do believe in God and everything, but church gets so boring when it’s every Sunday… Oh well.
Woops… I think that’s my Dad coming upstairs…
Kaylin x5


'Shadows darted up and down the cream walls, creating an almost hypnotic display. The dancing flames below licked the air hungrily as they consumed the blackened logs. Laughter rose from two girls as they fought playfully over the last few pink marshmallows. Red and black hair flew about the place as they tackled each other, and soon ended in a mess of tangled limbs on the chocolate brown rug. Still laughing, the girls struggled into a sitting position. Hands still touching, they smiled at each other.
‘Girls! Girls! Did you want another hot chocolate?’ a cheerful voice called from the kitchen. Jumping in surprise, they started giggling and stood. Smiling shyly at each other again, they ran towards the voice.'6


Dear Diary,
I had a really weird dream last night. It was me and Sarah… we were in a forest, surrounded by green leaves of all sizes. Tall trees rose from the twig-covered ground. I could see her striking red hair in the distance, flying in and out of my vision and I had followed it. I remember it was raining… and when I got to her we were both soaked. She smiled at me… a bit like the other day when I went to hers. She really is beautiful. I can’t remember that much of it now… but it really confused me. Hmmmm… Oh that’s my mum calling. Church now. I’ll carry this on another time.
Kaylin x7


'Glistening tears fell softly from the closed eyes that were the blackened sky. Water droplets dotted the ground she ran across. The greenery that surrounded her amplified the patter that became the soundtrack to her journey, getting louder slowly as the rain increased. The moisture accompanied her as she got closer to her quarry.
Bright red hair shone in the near distance and swirled around as the figure turned. As she came to a stop she noticed the, now extremely heavy, rain falling around them, sticking their clothes to their skin. A smile crept upon the red-head’s face, completing her divinity. Smiling too, Kaylin edged forward. The water left little to the imagination as they stared at each other.
Sarah’s green eyes glittered as she regained eye-contact from Kaylin, and her smile became slightly awkward. Shyness warped Kaylin’s mind, and she looked away in embarrassment. A slight pressure upon her check made her look back up and she withdrew in surprise as she found Sarah’s lips inches from her own. Recovering from her initial reaction, she looked at Sarah. Her heart was racing at the speed of light, and it screamed to move closer. Timidly, she leant forward slightly and gasped a little as their lips met.'8


Dear Diary,
I still can’t remember the rest of the dream… That’s really going to bug me now. A boring Sunday as always: Father didn’t let me go to Sarah’s house. Instead I spent the day doing chores. Oh what fun. At least I get to see her tomorrow, at school.
I hate homework… I have to go finish it… Father is shouting.
Kaylin x9


'Stars dotted the dark sky outside her window. Dark blue curtains edged it, matching her bed sheets. The walls were painted a lighter shade of blue. She admired the view from her bed, which she lay upon. As it always did these days, her thoughts drifted to Sarah. I wonder what she’s doing right now.
The tangled mess that was her hair fell over her eyes as she turned onto her back. Closing her eyes, she conjured a picture of Sarah in her mind. Shaking the image away, she asked herself the same question for the hundredth time. Why is she always, always on my mind? However many times it was repeated, an answer never presented itself. It wasn’t just the presence of her in Kaylin’s mind that confused her; it was feelings that went along with it. A deep longing would take over her heart and a desire, a need even, to see Sarah would arise.
A fog clouded her thoughts and the image of Sarah was the last conscious thing in Kaylin’s mind as she drifted peacefully to sleep.' 10


Dear Diary,
This is too confusing. You know how girls always go on about some guy they are totally ‘in love’ with. Well, the feelings described, I can relate to them in a way. About Sarah. Oh my father is going to furious if he ever finds out… same sex feelings, they’re forbidden. Against God’s will even.
I can’t get her off my mind though. I didn’t exactly choose this. And sometimes… when I catch her looking at me… the gleam in her eye… it makes my heart race. I think… I think I love her.
Kaylin x11


' ‘Haha… You Dyke!’
Kaylin sped up, walking as fast as she could down the corridor. The laughter and insults that followed her were all too familiar, though she was miles away from the last place she’d experienced it. The spiteful comments bit at her like hundreds of ants swarming. Holding back the tears that threatened to leak from her saddened expression, she hurried for the nearest exit.
The girls’ toilets were closest and she dashed to the door. Standing in the empty room brought a wave of Déjà vu upon her, but she pushed the thought out of her mind. Locking herself in a cubicle she sat and gave up. Tears spilled to floor as she sobbed. She stiffened once at the sound of the door being opened again, but carried on crying when she realised what it was.
The thought which haunted her mind this time wasn’t ‘why me’ though… It was ‘how do they know?’ They couldn’t possibly know, as she had only just found out herself. They’re just being idiots… just idiots… they don’t know anything. She tried to reassure herself, and slowed her breathing in an attempt to stop her tears. Laughter came from the other side of the cubicle door but she ignored it, thinking only of how strong Sarah was, and how she wouldn’t let the bullies get to her. She really is such a great person she found herself thinking, and it brought a slight smile to her face. With the strength of that smile she rose. Pulling the lock open quickly, before she could change her mind, she let the little burst of confidence lead her out into the crowd. Tuning out the voices, she walked determinedly towards the exit.'12


Dear Diary,
I guess any school can be bad. A lesson I guess I’d always have to learn in the end. But, to be honest, Sarah has made me stronger. She’s such a confident person… some of it must have rubbed off onto me. Without her I’d be stuck in fear – probably forever. She is the best thing in my life, and I’m more than lucky to have her. From the way she sets my heart racing, to the way she looks at me. I love her.
Kaylin x13


'The trees were aflame with the dying glow of early sunset. The horizon shone a brilliant orange, with lazy red clouds drifting across the darkening sky as the day came to a quiet close. Little petals flew to the ground in the gentle spring breeze.
Kaylin smiled at her companion, pulling the simple green jacket closer around them both. Black and red strands of hair were pulled by the gentle spring breeze, raising them into the air to dance.
‘It’s beautiful.’ Sarah breathed, staring at the scene of nature around them. ‘I really understand why you come here so often now.’
‘It reminds me of you,’ she whispered back and pulled her into an embrace that could have lasted centuries, though ended in a few mere minutes. ‘But it’s getting late… Father will be angry.’
Sighing slightly, Sarah looked thoroughly downhearted. Looking into the blue pools that were Kaylin’s eyes, she smiled ever so slightly and placed her head into her neck. Gently pressing her lips against the cool skin she whispered I love you, and promised to never leave her. Though the words reminded Kaylin of countless romance stories she’d read while growing up, with many of them ending in heartbreak, she couldn’t help but smile at the uniqueness of the situation. She’s never dreamt of being this happy, in the arms of another girl, and here she sat, happier than she’d even been.' 14