You know I’m here, but you don’t admit it to yourself. You did when you were little, and—well, no. Those are the only two tenses that really matter anymore. You’ll figure out why soon enough.1
I’ve always been a few feet behind you, waiting for you to notice me again. Sitting in the corner while you were in the crib as a baby, watching as your parents took turns coming in to comfort you. Standing in the aisle of the bus on your first day of school. I knew you were scared; I’ve always been a few steps ahead of you. I knew you were scared the first time you saw me, too. When you screamed for somebody—anybody—to come and save you from the person in your room.2
I don’t mean to frighten. It’s not my fault I look like this. But you’re lucky you have me. Some are horribly disfigured, acid burns and car accidents. Some don’t even have heads anymore. Of course, when you’re seven and in the dark, even a slit throat is scary. And at that point, there was no way you could recognize me. Everybody always said you had your father’s chin, but seven-year-olds never understand that kind of comparison.3
Looking at me now, I would definitely be recognizable. A face that you always see, save for the blood trickling down my neck.4
But I wouldn’t recommend turning around and trying to look. It won’t be me you see.5
That man holding the knife, don’t fight back with him. Just stay quiet and still, and he’ll only slit our throat.
Author notes
Best read when dark. ;D
I'm thinking of rewriting this, but I'm horribly lazy.
Reviews make me smile.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I clicked this thinking it was going to be about a person by the name Asa'el, so I was surprised to see it wasn't.
Instead, you gave me a horror story. I was thinking that the boogeyman was actually a 'she' and his long lost deceased sister. I don't know where I came up with such an idea.
I enjoyed this nonetheless. I had a strange tingling sensation up my spine while reading this and had to look over my shoulder. No one was there. Whew!
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This is a good read and the story is well written. I take it that the person talking is the child's boogeyman and that the child saw his father? murdered.
I notivced no errors in this write and I can say you did a really good job. For someone of your age to write such a creepy tale is marvellous.
Well done and thanks for sharing
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Paranoids-r-us
This is creepy and sureal, with the 'bogey man' in the dark corner. It is paranoid inducing with the child being the only one able to see 'it'. This story hints at darker things and the questions it raises in my mind are disquieting. The end is superb leaving an afterchill which lasts even after the tale has been read. A good tale in a few words - well done.
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This was creepy. I like how you wrote, the words you used, and I also like the flow it had, as well. It is easy to read, yet definitely not for someone who isn't used to this kind of story. I enjoyed pretty much everything about this and the way you made it go with the words was extremely good for someone, especially someone your age.
I think the last paragraph is the creepiest part... I think whoever likes this read will say that they would like to see more after that paragraph... though I don't like evil endings. I only like happy endings. But I always like a well written dark story, as this one is. I will be reading more of your stuff soon, as well. Thanks for putting this on the reading list.
I hope you enjoy writing as much as I enjoy writing and reading... if you do, then you shall only get better with experience. But I can already tell you're very talented. -
It was an interesting and creepy short read. I didn't catch any mistakes off hand so I think it's been well edited and good job.
I am left a little confused... wondering what exactly happened. I understand about the murder going on- but would love to see this expanded on
Overall, it was an entertaining read
beginning: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5.
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