Breath of dawn chapter 1 part 21
A recap of what just happened, some bat shit insane aussie guy just bit my Pakistan driving instructor’s hand like a piece of chicken. And right after having my ear nearly bitten off by this diseased looking weirdo, my teacher went on the fritz driving like a nut from shock; he wasn’t listening to me at all and I even considered bailing out a few times, but lord knows I’m not one to be some road kill to be scooped up by an industrial sized spatula…no way in hell…2
I could feel the vibration of the car becoming somewhat soft like it just contracted a heart murmur for an engine, it only meant it was breaking down and just my luck too because at the same time he was starting to calm down and pulled over one the curb Always keep calm under pressure and pay attention to the road, Well it was not my teacher’s fault completely to be a hypocrite infront of me like police saying “Don’t litter” but toss their drinks out the window before chasing down a drunk, not to beat the dead horse or anything but I always looked into the faults of society when I express a moment deep inside myself.3
The car shuddered to a complete stop dying right under my feet; my expression was deeply unamused since I gave up panicking 10 minutes ago since I figured He’s dodged like 4 cars we could go for another 6 But in all honesty at that very moment concern started to grow again replacing the frustration and overall disappointment to my driving teacher “You ok now?” I asked him noticing I was holding onto the seat belt instead of clicking it in the beginning, I guess subconsciously I was scared and my body reacted. Anyway Joseph turned his head towards me but kept his eyes more down towards the wheel staring at his right hand, the gash was still bleeding, hell I even saw more gush every time he took a hard turn which made him put uneven pressure on it, it looked horrible and even with his dark ash grey pants I could see the wet large amounts of blood on his legs “God…” I backed my head away disgusted and I could even smell the blood, it smelt way different than I remembered being in the doctor’s office having a blood test; this was just sick.4
The blood didn’t stick to the wheel, the classic leather looking material maybe one or two places were it gathered in remnants but that was about it, I saw all the blood that he lost right there where he sat; his legs, right arm, the bottom of his shirt and the wheel. I was getting worried since it was a lot of blood “Joseph…we should call an ambulance” I suggested to him realizing he had not given me an answer but instead a weird glance “umm ok” I thought to myself knowing this was getting too weird even for me, I was hesitating to grab and pull the small handle to let myself out, a phobia was building maybe of more fucked up people wanting to sink their teeth in me “Crazy fuckers” I murmured quietly to myself looking out the window through the bloody hand print stains left behind by the freak who tried to also take a bite out of me.5
I sucked it up like a man and stepped out in one fluid motion, tossing the seat belt off myself and into the car followed by closing it with a reassuring slam. And so I stood there with what seemed to be a dying man in a dead car, I let out a long sigh shaking my head when I reached into my right pocket to pull out my brick of a cell phone, piece of shit wasn’t worth the 300 bucks my mom got scammed for in town to buy it for me, lasted me 4 years and running though; it was made to have rage thrown into it. I dialed “000” which in Australia was the emergency service number, I never really noticed how long it took for the machine to answer the call….it’s a fucking machine! And it took like 7 rings, after some personal frustration more against the country I was living in I finally got the female voice answering machine to pick up, I of course said “Ambulance” so I could help Joseph out of his acid trip of a blood loss and waited more hearing the ringing on the line.6
“Emergency what is your situation?” A young man’s voice picked up after a short while of waiting in the hot sun hitting me directly and even getting into my eyes, I was about to turn and say something since the heat was too much for my face and chest, but as I did I heard the click of the door handle on Joseph’s side “My name is Joe- woah! Hold on” I walked around to his side of the car and as I made it he fell out of the car motionless, I froze…the first thought running through my head is he just died, he just fucking died, I rushed to his side and tapped him a few times before I knelt down to turn him over on him back, half of him was still inside the car it was a horrible sight; he had a wife and 3 kids, not to be cliché but the dude did have 3 kids! “Joseph?..Jo- aww shit..awww no..fuck!!” I panicked and sprung up feeling my heart race again, the operator on the other line of course was confused but I bet more annoyed having to put up with scared pansy ass nonsense all day “Sir? Calm down tell me what’s happening” he asked politely used to people’s constant bullshit, I could hear him clearly even though I had the phone down at my waist; it was so quiet I could hear even the distant cars drive by at least a mile down the road.7
Joseph was dead, blood loss and shock is what I guess “My driving instructor is dead!! He was attacked and started bleeding now he’s not moving!!!” Yeah I was panicking, wouldn’t you? Don’t answer that. The operator continued to try and calm me down like he did not give a damn about my problems just asking for my location, that made another problem arise since I was not paying attention to where we were going in the first place; I was more concerned on making sure I didn’t end up flying through the windscreen suddenly “I don’t know!! Wait let me ask someone!!” I put the phone down again just holding it and ran across the street to the first house I saw, the area I was in was a cosy looking neighbourhood for middle income families with a few proud lawns on some properties that must have taken a whole year to get it to look like a golf course. I ran across the large brown crumpled up star shaped leaves on the lawn that could be mistaken for marijuana leaves when they were green, being in a panic first though I didn’t take notice and started to bang the front door before I knocked properly like a decent human being “Excuse me? Excuse me!!! Hello!?” in my experiences I have come across some people that have actually yelled back “Go away!” or not answer at all to a stranger, I was thinking that might happen any second how you would get that feeling or noise the occupants of the house would want nothing to do with you, but my luck changed hearing a click behind the door telling me it was being unlocked.8
An old Australian woman opened the door, a face and neck like a deflated puffer fish and I mean saggy, short as well and would you believe it? Under that cliché dress for old timers; a pale green with faded designs of flowers and orchids she had kankles, otherwise known as the melting ankle over the shoe. She was a short lady which is why I got a full body shot of her as soon as she opened the door “Can I help you love?” she asked me with a sweet tone, heck she even opened the fly screen door as well with the big one, but right as I was about to say anything she shifted to the side to look over my shoulder and her brows showed concerned as well as her voice when she spoke “Is he alright?” she asked and gave a small point with her stubby fingers. I turned around and saw Joseph rising to his feet then stagger forward slowly, I was shocked; his body was cold and I even checked his pulse along his jugular when he was limped out on the road like a rag doll, I couldn't help but call out how much it blew my mind “Joseph?!”9
To be continued
Comments please XD
Comments
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Way to go! This chapter is told with a lot of attitude. It seems genuine and real. The stories pace is good and your descriptions are great. Good work there.
I have one criticism. You need to learn more about sentence structure. You need to learn what a comma is and where one should go. Often you don't have commas where you should and have them where you shouldn't. You use commas to splice a lot of sentences together, which is a no-no, in many cases these should be full stops. Don't be afraid of using full stops. Short sentences aren't the devil.
Like the attitude. Your voices comes across true and strong.
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omg that was awsome i loved it i hope to be reading some more of your work and I hope there as good as this story i loved it keep up the awsome work great job, oh and I love the to be coninued storys bacuase i wait wait to find out what happends
BT


