Sex, Drugs, and Self Mutilation (Part 5)

One day while I was in the shower, Bria, now three years old, walked in. She called for me, pulling back the shower curtain. Her beautiful eyes got huge, welling up with tears at the sight of old scars and fresh cuts. "Oh no, Julie, you got a lots of ouchies!" She said tearfully. I turned off the water and grabbed a towel. "Yeah, I got ouchies...but lets not tell Daddy okay? We don't want to make Daddy mad, do we munchkin?" I asked her. She looked at me all teary eyed. "Julie, no more ouchies. Please. Your munchkins loves you, I don't like ouches." She said, and kissed a cut. "Munchies make it go away." She whispered, grabbing me around the neck, hugging me.1

And I didn't. I stopped hurting myself. I couldn't bear the thought of Bria thinking that she would lose me. everytime I tried, I would see her the way I saw her that day, tears falling down her little face. But it led to more problems. Now that my first way to escape had been taken, I needed new doors. New ways to hide from my problems. That's where the drugs came in.2

I'd fallen into all the wrong crowds after Amy had died. I started experimenting, no matter how dangerous I knew the drugs to be. I tried anything I could, I wanted to make the world go away. I was only 16,  and already, I was tired of life. I'd felt more pain than anyone should ever have had to feel. I'd grown to hate myself. My eyes had lost their sparkle, my copper tone skin, now pale, and to add to it, I had scars covering myself.3

I knew no one could ever have seen me as beautiful again. At least, that's what I thought. But Chase changed that. Tall, muscular, blond haired, forget-me-not blue eyed Chase Landers. He was nothing short of a teen dream. I found myself bumping into him often. He was everywhere I was. He flashed me flirty smiles, and once he even grabbed my ass. That one got him the finger and a slap. 4

About 2 weeks after Chase moved to my town, he showed up in the diner that I worked at. He'd managed to find where I worked. He seated himself, looking around impatiently, while I hid in the back room just watching him. "Julie. JULIE! Snap out of it. What are you waiting for? Go help our customer!" My boss said. "Huh? Oh. Yeah, okay." I said snapping out of a daze. I walked out. "Can I help you?" I asked. "Actually, I came to see you." he said, blue eyes flashing. My jaw dropped slowly. I tried playing it cool...it didn't work so well. " Well, you see me. Now do you want something to eat or not?" I said. Good one Julie...just be a total bitch and scare him off why don't you.  "Oh, feisty are we?" he asked smiling. I rolled my eyes sarcastically. " I was just wandering if you wanted to go to the fall dance with me at school. . I ain’t gotta date yet…interested?” I was so shocked. Chase Landers,  hottest guy in school, wanted to go to the fall dance with me…of all people.5