Who Am I? ~ Chapter Twenty Five

The next couple of days were the best I had, had in a long time. She wasn’t the monster I thought she was. She was a really nice woman. She was so different when she was straight. It was so strange. Taylor warmed up to her straight away. I thought she would be a little unforgiving, but like most things I was wrong again. 1

Taylor like me just wanted to know her real Mother. She was ready to put the past behind her. The more we talked the more we understood her. When she was 15 she was raped, the guy did not use protection and that’s where we came from. She tried to get used to the idea but she couldn’t so she dumped us and ran away. 2

She told us that she wanted to stop running; she said that she had been doing it for half of her life. She didn’t want to do it anymore. She realized that it wasn’t our fault. We didn’t get a choice in the matter. She told us that she was going to try her hardest to kick her habit and be a real mother to the new baby. She deserved that much. 3

I told her that I would do whatever she needed to help her get better. I wanted to be there for her. I don’t know or understand why, but I did. I wanted to make sure that she was okay before I left. I wanted to know that the baby was in good hands. 4

None of the time we spent together felt weird or awkward. Well, actually, no. That would be a lie. At first it did feel weird. It did feel strange. I sat there listening to her, not sure of what to say. Taylor sat and did the same thing. But, as time went on and we spent more and more time talking, it got better; it got easier. It became natural. 5

The first 2 weeks were difficult; she was in so much pain. I didn’t know how hard it was going to be. I didn’t know that drugs were so hard to come off. How would I though? I had never had t deal with anything like this. Luca was great. He knew just what to do. His Mum had run a clinic, and he had seen all this and more all his life. 6

She got so angry. She said she wanted something; she needed something, anything just to fix the pain. I have never seen anything more traumatic in my whole life. She sweated, vomited and even fitted. Luca handled that; I couldn’t do it. All Taylor could do was cry when she looked at her like that. So, Luca took over and we looked after the baby.7

After that, though, she seemed to be doing better. Yeah, she was still sick and pale, but she said that she was feeling better: she wasn’t as shaky or sick or achy. Those were the longest 3 days in my life; it felt like an eternity. 8

But looking back at it, it made both Taylor and me stronger people; we were thrown in head first with something we had never faced before. It taught us a valuable lesson; it taught us how to help someone.9

“How you feeling today?” I asked, holding the baby in my arms and sitting on the end of her bed.10

“A little better. Not up for an Olympic event, but still good.” She said. 11

I could tell she was just trying to be brave; I could tell she really wanted something. 12

“That’s good.” I said. “You know what I have been thinking; you really need to name this little one.” I added. 13

“I know, and that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Taylor, can you come in here!” She called out.14

“Yeah?” She asked, coming in. 15

“Well you know your name is Kennedy, right? And, I figured that you wouldn’t want to change it. So can I call your little sister Kennedy, and you can stay Taylor. It suits you.” She asked.16

“Yeah, that’s fine.” She smiled. 17

I didn’t know how happy she was about that. But, deep down, I knew that she wouldn’t want to start being called another name. 18

It seemed that Rhylan and Taylor had taken a liking to one another. They were spending a lot of time together; he brought her a flower each day. It was really sweet. I was glad that she had found someone. I was glad that she had found a nice guy that wasn’t Trent. 19

“Will you be okay tonight on your own? I think Luca is feeling a little neglected, and I want to spend some time with him.” I asked. “Taylor might stay with you, though.” I added. 20

“Actually,” she said biting her lip, “I kind of had a date, but I can put it off. I can tell Rhylan we can do it another time.” She said.21

“Girls, I will survive one night by myself. I am feeling much better. You should spend time with Luca; he’s a great guy, Hayleigh. And, I can tell that you like Rhylan, I have known him since I moved here; he’s a nice boy.”22

“Will you be able to look after Kennedy?” Taylor asked. 23

“Of course, silly. I’m not an invalid.” She said. 24

“I didn’t mean it like that; I just meant, well, you know.” She said.25

“I’ll be fine. You girls go out and have fun; you’re too young to be here looking after your mot-” She started but stopped. “I mean me.” She quickly added.26

I smiled; call me crazy, but I know that we hadn’t spent much time together. I know we still had a long way to go. However, it didn’t feel wrong calling her Mum. 27

“Thanks Mum. We will come see you in the morning.” I smiled. She looked a bit stunned, but that quickly turned into a smile. She looked so different without the load of metal in her face. 28

She had taken it all out and actually washed her skin. She still looked rough, but that wasn’t hard to fix, all she needed was a shower and a few makeup tips. 29

“We will feed and bathe Kennedy before we go. That way, all you have to do is feed her in a couple of hours.” I said. 30

“That’s fine. You don’t have to.” She said.31

“No that’s okay. I don’t mind. She needs her nappy changed.”32

“Hayleigh, I will do it. Just go have fun!” She said giving a nervous and tense laugh.33

“Okay then.” I said giving the baby to her and giving her a hug. Taylor leaned down to share their first hug also. 34

We walked toward the door. 35

“Girls!” She called and we turned around. 36

“Yes?” We replied. 37

“In a few days, when I’m feeling better, we’ll go out and do something fun together. I promise.” She smiled. “I know I haven’t been there; I know I’m a mess, but I do love you both. I just wanted you to know that.” 38

“That sounds great.” I smiled.39

“Really great.” Taylor agreed. 40

It was too soon to say I love you. I wasn’t ready. I tried to say it but it wouldn’t come out. I knew that if it didn’t come out naturally I shouldn’t be saying it.41