Who Am I? ~ Chapter Twenty Four

“I know this a lot to deal with Taylor. I know how hard it is.” I said. We had found a nice sunny spot and were now sitting on the grass. 1

“I’m okay Hayles. I really am. At first when I found out I was like; wow, it’s the end of the world. But it’s not, it hurts that she lied to me. I never thought that Mum would do that to me. We were so close. But I’ll be okay.” She said with a brave smile.2

“You don’t have to pretend to be strong just for me. If you’re upset than be upset.” I said giving the baby a bottle. She was so beautiful. I hadn’t seen anything so cute in my life. She was so tiny and helpless, she looked into my eyes, and gave me a cheeky little smile as she sucked on the bottle. 3

My eyes welled with tears. I didn’t want to let go of her. I didn’t want to leave her alone with our Mother. What would happen to her when I left? Would Charlene find her a good home like she had done for us? She wasn’t on drugs back then though. She was normal and thinking straight. 4

“I’m strong because I want to be strong Hayles. I don’t want to fall apart. It’s not the end of my life, it’s just a turn in a direction I was not expecting to go in.” 5

I wish that when I found out I could have kept a level head the way she managed to. Taylor was so strong. I mean I always knew she was strong just didn’t know that she was that strong. 6

“What ended up happening with you and Trent?” I asked changing the subject. I had had enough of the brain teasers for one day. 7

“Oh…yeah I did it finally. He came over 3 nights later and asked for another chance. I didn’t want to but I told him to go to hell and that we were finished. You should have seen the look on his face. He couldn’t believe it. I mean he even kept saying are you sure? You serious? It’s over? That mad me made and I lost it at him. I’m glad I got mad though cos I wasn’t even sad afterwards!” She explained. 8

“I’m so proud of you hun.” I smiled. 9

“You know what made me realise that he never loved me though?” She said.10

“What?” I asked. 11

“I know for a fact he would have found out about this, the whole town new before I did. I know we had broken up and I yelled at him but he could have called and asked if I was okay.”12

We spent most of the afternoon talking and taking care of the baby. Taylor fell in love with her instantly. I surprised myself in many ways. I was good with her. I knew nothing about babies but while she was in my arms I knew just what to do. I seemed to just have picked it up on the spot, it came natural to me. 13

I tried to keep the smooches to a minium in front of Taylor. I know she said that she was fine with the break up. But Trent was a big part of her life for 2 years. I didn’t want to rub her face in what she didn’t have. 14

I was beginning to think that Charlene had done a runner and wasn’t going to come back. I mean that is what she was good at. What was stopping her from doing it again?15

Us kids were certainly not keeping her there. She didn’t care about us at all. She had no motherly instincts inside of her. 16

She knocked on the our door about 2 am in the morning waking us all up. Taylor wasn’t asleep. She opened the door.17

She took a step back as she saw the woman that was her real mother for the first time. She knew this must be here, as I had given her a few small details. I didn’t want her to be blown away.18

“Is Hayleigh here?” She asked. 19

I got out of bed and walked out behind Taylor.20

“I am.” I said rubbing my eyes. “Do you know what time it is.” I added in a yawn.21

“I am sorry. I’ve just come for the baby.” She said. 22

Something was different. Her voice had lost it’s. She sounded almost straight. I mean she still looked the same but she looked almost as if she hadn’t had anything. She looked tense like she wanted something though. 23

“She’s sleeping. She will be fine here until the morning. This is TAYLOR well you would know her as Kennedy Charlene.” I said. 24

She stood there looking at the tired girl in front of me. I thought for a second that there was a tear in her eye. I could have been wrong. 25

“You two turned out alright now didn’t you.” She said. 26

“Yeah you chose good families.” She said, I could hear the pain in here voice. Taylor was strong but no one could handle something like this. No one should have had to. 27

“I’ll come back in the morning. We all can go to lunch or something. Get to know each other a little more.” She said. 28

I think my jaw hit the floor. Was she really saying this? She wanted to spend time with us! She wanted to get to know us! What had changed her mind? 29

“I thought you didn’t want to know us. I thought you’re drugs were more important.” I said. I know I shouldn’t have said something so straight forward and rude. But I couldn’t help it. 30

“I don’t want to do that anymore. I want my life back. I want to start over again and get to know my girls.” She said. 31

I couldn’t believe it. I sat there in disbelief after she left trying to work out if it had really happened. Taylor was crying like a baby. She couldn’t hold in her emotions anymore. It was to much for her. I knew it would be to see her. I couldn’t help but feel happy though. I know she was a junky. But she was my Mum and the fact that she was going to try and get herself better for us kids, meant the world to me. I think Taylor felt the same way. 32