Laying Paris in the Tomb (Chapter Four)

Four – Bleed Like Me1

GRRRRRRRRRRRRIND 2

whiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrr3

s p l a s h 4

DINGDING5

❝Capulet?❞6

Yes.7

coffee. 8

Nearly an inch of caramel stuck to the bottom of the cup9

just waiting to rot my teeth10

God, yes. 11

Hotcoffeewhippedcreamcavities12

That is what heaven feels like.13

The ridiculous amount of money is so worth it, because as the coffee slid down my throat:14

hotCORROSIVEmaliciousintenttokill 15

(My friends would step in here and rant about consumerist culture and how it's choking the country and freedom and the anarchist's bleeding soul to death, but it's all bullshit and i wanted my goddamn Grande coffee, so they’d shut the fuck up or be drowned out by the chatter of the grinders and cash registers. ...Shit, I curse like a sailor. Maybe I should stop - but what's the point? Nobody would mistake me for a lady anyway-)16

I felt just a little bit calmer. 17

My mind stopped racing, my face stopped hurting, I stopped running over the possibilities of what the day might have in store for me – the world went quiet as I looked out the window in introspective silence. 18

Anybody who says caffeine isn’t a drug is a liar.19

I don’t know how long I’d been in my reverie before Teller lightly shook me. “Capulet, I understand that you’re having a caffeine induced orgasm right about now, but we’ve really gotta go. D’you think you could, oh, I don’t know, move your ass?”20

Declining to comment, I rose from my chair and nodded, following him and Adrien out of the café and reclaimed my seat in the front, finally looking to Adrien.21

“So, what exactly are we doing today?”22

He looked first at me, then Teller in the rearview mirror, then back at me.23

"Several things, cher, but the first thing we must do today is give you a tour of our facilities, which will become a second home to you, introduce you to our men, and begin to teach you our ways."24

"Why is it that you've both assumed I've already agreed to join this Fraternity of yours?"25

"It is no assumption, petite. Merely a deep hope that you will see things as we do at the end of this day."26

I sat back in my chair, nodding. "Well, I don't suppose it would kill me to keep an open mind. I mean, for what this is, it can't be too bad."27

I almost missed Teller's smirk in my rearward mirror.28

I looked out the window almost the entire car ride. It had been a habit of mine since childhood, 29

staring off into nothing and 30

seeing what I thought was forever. 31

I could gaze for hours, staring but never seeing a thing - it was where my most brilliant ideas were conceived and, eventually, hatched. This morning in particular was no different. 32

I watched the grey-green-brown-blue blur of Cardiff's countryside whizzing by for nearly 5 and 20 minutes, deaf to the easy conversation being held between Teller and Adrien.33

It wasn't until we pulled up to the mansion that they regained my attention, and even then Teller had to physically remove me from the car, seemingly forming his own habit of becoming exhausted with my reveries. 34

"Put me down! I am a person, not a sack of potatoes!"35

"Well, if you'd stop acting like a nutter, I wouldn't have to tote you around like this." He said coolly, having thrown me over his shoulder.36

"This is entirely undignified!37

I am not a damsel in fucking distress,38

nor am I a cripple, 39

and I therefore need no help in walking.40

Put me down."41

I said angrily, uselessly pummeling his back.42

"...Fine!" 43

He said with a jaunty smile, dropping me unceremoniously onto the carpeted threshhold of the front hall. 44

"Your wish is my command." He finished with a smirk, tipping an imaginary hat to me.45

I spoke from where I lay on the floor, slowly sitting upright. 46

"Have I mentioned that I hate you?" 47

"There is a fine line between love and hatred, ma cherie." Having entered silently behind Teller, Adrien added his two cents with a soft click of his tongue, holding his hand out to me, which I took, and helping me stand in a manner that was closer to graceful than I was capable of on my own. His comment rightly shut us both up, nothing more than a quickerthanthis glance between us, our cheeks reddening in a manner neither of us actually cared to admit.48

"Now, may we continue on with our day?" He asked, raising one perfectly sculpted eyebrow and looking at us both, in turn. As neither of us offered up any disagreement, he nodded and smiled smugly.49

"Ah! Then let us take Capulet to meet the rest of our men, and then we will show her the training rooms."50

Teller nodded, pressing a button on the intercom near the door, speaking softly. "Meeting in the commons, pronto." Immediately, like ghosts from the mists, men began to appear from secret passageways and alcoves, stairwells and the second floor, assembling in a line straight as arrows before Adrien, Teller, and myself so fluidly that I felt if I blinked they'd disappear just as smoothly. One by one they stepped forward and offered a hand as Adrien introduced them.51

First were The Matts.52

Matthew and Matthias O'Shanahan.53

Yeah, their crazy Irish-Welsh mother had named them variants of the same name ( the Welsh are so uncreative, I swear to God), and they now operated as a single unit, it seemed. 54

Matt(hew) was the more heavy set of the two, 55

with a round face and pretty hazel eyes, 56

as well as a kind smile. 57

Matt(hias) was covered in freckles, 58

brown eyed and dark like a satyr, 59

and had the sort of crazed 60

gleam in his eye that a 61

war vet does when he gets flashbacks 62

of World War II. 63

Yet they both smiled and shook my hand like gentleman, and welcomed me good-naturedly. 64

"Matthew and Matthias are our munitions experts, Capulet." Adrien said with a smile.65

"Munitions?"66

"Aye, mum, that we are. Me brother is an expert in explosives, and I meself happen ta be an expert in guns and the like." Matthew said with a proud smile and a quirky brow raise.67

"Did ye know that a homemade bomb 68

with nails as shrapnel 69

does enough damage 70

to rip the human body from it's frame?" 71

Matthias added, grinning in a manner that reminded me of a jack-o-lantern and turning his crazed eyes on me, expecting fear.72

I contemplated for a moment, then nodded.73

"Well, I suppose that's logical, then, isn't it? I mean, the 74

sheer 75

percussive 76

force 77

of the explosion would most likely turn your 78

organs 79

to soup, 80

and then the shrapnel would shred your skin to bits. I mean, that's what it seems like would happen, anyway..." I paused, deep in thought, and thought I saw a glint of admiration in Matthias' and Teller's eyes as Adrien smiled- slow, like a lover in the midst of a strip tease.81

"Let us move on, shall we? You will be free to talk shop tomorrow, if Capulet should decide to stay. I promise, Matthias." 82

Matthias stepped back, grumbling to himself.83

A tall, dark man stepped forward next. 84

Most likely Samoan, judging by the deep yellow-olive tones in his skin, 85

he was well over 6 foot 86

and had deep translucent blue discs in his ears,87

wide enough to fit a pencil through.88

Or maybe a battery - I wasn't close enough to tell the gauged size.89

He smiled a smile that most likely brought girls to their knees - literally - and held out a hand to me, the light bouncing off his eyeteeth. 90

"Bronx Ondelette."91

...Bronx? God, that was where Izzy was from. She'd love him.92

"I'm sorry, did you just say your last name was omlette?"93

"...No?" He paused, but bounced back quickly, smirking at me. "But if you've got breakfast on the brain, I could make one for you in the morning after you leave my room."94

I raised a brow and turned to Adrien, crossing my arms.95

"Behave, Bronx." He said, canting his head in the man's direction.96

Bronx put his hands up in an offended fashion, shaking his head. "I'm cool, man! I wasn't gonna do anything."97

...Americans.98

Adrien looked at me pointedly - "As I was saying, Capulet. Bronx is our house musician and is expertly trained in acting and improvisation. I am sure that you two will get along just fine, once you are more adequately acquainted." 99

"I'm sure you're right out of your fucking mind, Adrien, but whatever you say."100

I said with an exaggerated bow in his direction, flipping my hair up and away from my face when I stood. 101

I heard a mutter from behind me - 102

"God, is it nice to have something with tits in this house again." 103

I turned slowly, my eyes meeting a pair of honey brown eyes on nearly the same level as mine.104

"I beg your pardon?"105

"No harm meant, mum! 106

The last bird we had in this house 107

was Bronx' girlfriend, who was brilliant - 108

she had two brains, if y'know what I mean." 109

He said, motioning toward his chest.110

"So, you expect me to act as brainless eyecandy, then?"111

"No, that's what's wicked! 112

You're eyecandy with more smarts 113

than most of the blokes in this outfit 114

(my lovely self excluded, of course)."115

Adrien made a move to interrupt, and I shook my head.116

"Part of me thinks I should be offended...117

but a larger part of me is overly flattered. I'm Capulet."118

A hand came out to grasp mine, slightly dirty but strong all the same.119

"America Nicklaus, mum."120

"Tell me, America -121

has it ever occurred to you122

that your flattery might be the reason 123

there are no women in this house?"124

"Never, Ms. Capulet - I'm the cook here,125

they rarely even let me see 126

the women. Which is part of 127

the reason you're such a pleasant 128

sight for sore eyes," 129

He said, winking.130

Unable to help myself, I giggled. 131

"Well, perhaps132

if more of the men around here were like you, 133

there'd be more breasts to go around."134

America laughed loudly, turning to Adrien.135

"I like her. Can we keep her?"136

Adrien looked to me. 137

"I am afraid that is Ms. Rosecrantz' choice."138

America grabbed me by the hand.139

"C'mon, give it a chance! 140

After all, not only do you get to 141

learn how to kill, you get to 142

partake in both my culinary expertise and 143

the scintillating conversations this place has to offer."144

"...Let me take a tour, and then I'll decide."145

He nodded.146

"Adrien, can I bribe her with various foodstuffs?"147

Adrien laughed. 148

"You are more than welcome, America."149

"Well, then let's get this show on the road 150

before poor America wets himself."151

Adrien nodded, offering an arm to me. "As you wish, madamoiselle."152

He and Teller led me down a long hallway, as soundproofed as the rest of the house, with seven or eight doors on each side. "This is where your training would begin, petite." He eyed a light at the top of the door, knocked, and waited until it turned green. He shouldered open the door and stood back so I could enter, only to have my mind proverbially blown.153

Large flourescent lights hung from the ceiling, illuminating the seemingly endless concrete floor, marked deep with scratches and craters from various training exercises. I wasn't all that impressed until I looked up and saw the walls, dedicated to guns. I looked up at the wall nearest to me, and saw rows and rows of automatic weaponry, from floor to ceiling. The wall adjacent to that had semi-automatic weaponry, also from the floor to the highest, ceiling-most shelf. 154

"What exactly is that? "155

I asked, pointing to the highest shelf of guns.156

Teller pressed a button on the counter beside the shelves, causing them to rotate and bring the highest shelf down a few levels so he could reach it. 157

"This?"158

He asked, pulling down something that looked rather like it belonged in a Rambo film, instead of a secluded but well-kempt underground warehouse. 159

"This is the deliciously classy M14. It's fitted with the Jae100 aftermarket stock - if for no other reason than because it makes a classy rifle ten times classier. Relatively lightweight for one of it's kind. It's the 'spiritual successor' to the rifle the US army used in the second world war, the M1 Garand. They used it in 'Nam till the department of defence contractors decided they could spend less money in the long run by switching to the M-16/Ar-15 platform, which was so heinously unfit for jungle warfare (or really ANY warfare not in an indoor shooting range) that there were reports that the Vietcong guerillas would refuse to take them from dead GIs. the M16 design has been improved A LOT since then, but still - the M14 has never needed any improvements of any kind." He said smugly, eyeing the gun covetously. 160

The fact that my jaw was on the floor must have alerted him to how surprised I was about his extensive knowledge of a single weapon, as he shrugged and placed the gun back on the rack, re-rotating the shelves until the M14 was back where it belonged, at the top of the shelf. 161

"But I'm not an expert, or anything. Matt and Matt could probably tell you a hell of a lot more about this stuff, since this is their workshop."162

"You sure sounded like an expert,"163

I said, still somewhat taken aback.164

"There are plenty of other things that I'm an expert in," 165

He walked toward me, raising an eyebrow in a manner that couldn't be construed as anything other than 'flirtacious.' 166

"But guns aren't one of them. I only know this much because of Adrien and the Matts."167

"Really?"168

"You will learn these things as well, Capulet, should you choose to stay on and train with us. All of my men are required to know the names and key points of each of the weapons in each of the shops you will be viewing - guns, knives, explosives, torture devices, as well as a moderate understanding of various martial arts and styles of combat, worldwide."169

"That sounds like quite a lot to learn in quite a short period of time, Adrien."170

"What's wrong, Cap? Don't think you can handle it?171

If you can't, we can just drive you back to your mediocre life, 172

where you can partake in your mediocre job and 173

take care of your mediocre family, 174

while you act as a doormat for every one of your mediocre patients."175

Glaring, I stepped closer to him.176

"Anything you can do, I can do a million times better, given some time."177

He scoffed. "Yeah, I'll bet."178

I shoved him hard, with my palms on his chest, knocking him back a few feet and out of my comfort zone.179

"I'd take you up on that, but it seems unfair 180

to just take your money from you so callously.181

I'll just let you see for yourself."182

"Does that mean you will stay? There are many more rooms for me to show you."183

"It means I will stay, given that everything checks out. 184

Because Hell knows I'll take any chance185

I can get to make Teller look like more of a jackass186

than he already is."187

"Wonderful! Let us finish the door, then we may share the good news with the rest of the men and figure out your arrangements."188

I followed after him, turning to lock eyes with Teller for a moment, before squaring my shoulders and following Adrien down the hall. The tour of the training levels consisted of 6 dojos, 3 recovery rooms, one stock room filled with clothing and ammo and first aid supplies, one recreation room, three firing ranges, two rooms for other miscellaneous weapons training, and one that was mysteriously empty - a mystery that would be solved almost as quickly as I could finish my thought - 189

"And this room will be yours, should you want it. Your training as a doctor makes you an excellent choice to teach the men about anatomy - which parts of the body are most vulnerable, where pressure points are located and what they are capable of doing, and most importantly, we are hoping you will use your training to create poisons. It is a media we are severely lacking in, and the prices for them to be made and shipped overseas are exorbitant and hardly worth it in the end, so your expertise would be greatly appreciated in this matter."190

Eyes wide, I turned to look at him.191

"You want me to teach 192

a group of rowdy men 193

with Peter Pan complexes 194

about anatomy? 195

Christ, I can hear the cock jokes being made even as we speak."196

He grinned, shaking his head. "That is precisely why you were made for this position, petite - your candor is what sets you apart from any of the women we could have had training here."197

"Well... I suppose it wouldn't be too much trouble. 198

I'd have to juggle my schedule at the hospital,199

but the two needn't interfere with one another200

if I plan things out carefully enough."201

"Bon! Come, let us see what America's culinary skills have to offer for the morning, then we will take you home so you can pack a few things to be left in your room (which you will be choosing after breakfast) and head off to work, as I'm sure your lovely sister must be very, very worried about you. Does that sound good to you, cherie?"202

"It sounds wonderful."203

"Then we are off! Are you coming, Teller?" He turned his head to acknowledge where Teller had been lurking against the door frame, unbeknownst to me. I jumped, losing my breath for a moment before shaking my head and steeling myself against the surprise, preparing to follow after Adrien.204

"Of course I am, you know I can't pass up America's pancakes."205

"Pancakes? Fuck yeah!"206

I said excitedly, having forgotten myself. 207

I clamped a hand over my mouth, blushing.208

Adrien laughed as he rested a hand on my lower back to guide me back down the long hallway, and Teller snickered. 209

"I think you're starting to grow on me."210

"Now I can die a happy woman, then." 211

I retorted sarcastically, allowing Adrien to212

direct me back through the commons and 213

into one of the most beautiful kitchens I've ever seen, 214

to this very day.215

"Adrien, your kitchen is lovely."216

"Do not look at me, Capulet. The designs were all America's idea." 217

America popped up from behind a counter, where he was selecting skillets. 218

He grinned. 219

"Thanks for the compliment, doll. 220

It's glad to know that somebody 221

appreciates my sense of style. 222

C'mere, and let's chat. 223

Adrien , Tell - you get out while we finish up here, 224

breakfast will be served soon enough. 225

Out, you brutes!"226

He gestured toward the door, and grinned mischeivously once they'd left, pouncing on me. 227

"Alright, lass, gimme the details. 228

Are you staying? 229

Have you got a crush on any of the men yet? 230

I know I have." 231

He laughed, reaching for the bowl of pancake batter on the table, 232

easily whisking it and keeping the brunt of his attention on me. 233