Laying Paris In The Tomb (Chapter One)

One- 2 AM1

“Come, petite – you wouldn’t want to miss any of the festivities, would you?”2

It had been a year since I met a certain Mr. Adrien Lafayette, and he still spoke in riddles that I never quite managed to guess the answers to.3

4

The night we met, we went to an uptown park, and I caught my first glance at the life that I would eventually come to lead. Adrien parked me on a bench before him and, after a moment in which he was so still he may have ceased to breathe, he pulled out a zippo and a pack of Cloves. He lit up, the tiny flame illuminating haunting eyes set again the translucent backdrop of his face. Finally, as I watched light play against his features, he began to speak.5

“I was once like you, petite.”
“...A woman?” 6

He chuckled, shaking his head. 7

“No, ma petite. I was an idealist. I was... eager to save the world.”8

“Why didn’t you?”
“A... very long time ago, I witnessed an event
that shattered any and all hope for a utopian humanity.”9

“Forgive me, Adrien. I’m afraid I’m still a little in the dark.”10

“No, Capulet, forgive me.
In an effort to avoid reopening old wounds,
I’m being too vague. I shall do my best to fully explain.”11

He fully turned to me, gracefully folding his long limbs beneath him. 12

One deep breath.13

Then, another.14

Another.15

At last, he gathered himself and began to explain.16

“When I lived in France,
I was a tutor at a small facility
for special needs children,
and victims of ongoing abuse –
both self inflicted, and otherwise.
I cannot tell you, petite,
how much I loved my work.
It was so gratifying to
be with people who only required
a bit of kindness to be content –
not money, not power, not possessions.
Just love.”17

“Adrien, that sounds like a good thing.
You were making a difference to people who really needed the help.”18

“Not as big of a difference as I should have.” 19

He said quietly, his gaze firmly held on the wooden slats in the bench, as if he were... ashamed. It was, in truth, a little frightening. The man who had seemed so confident mere minutes ago now resembled a child, who closed his eyes against the dark that so terrified him.20

“One night...” 21

he continued, so softly I was forced to lean all the way in to hear him,22

“ I stayed late with one of my students, Ethan.
I had just put him to bed, and
was heading down the hall
to the staff lounge,
when I heard something peculiar.
It sounded like... creaking bedsprings?
The patients were forbidden to be
in rooms other than their own,
so I went to see what the noise actually was
(and break up anything that might have been happening).”23

I nodded, my dark eyes on his much lighter ones. “What was the noise?”24

He looked off into the dark, voice airy... vacant, as if he were somewhere else. 25

“...I did not mean to kill him.”26

(Are you as confused as I was?)27

“...Kill who?”28

“My lover.”29

You could hear the capital L as the words fell from Adrien’s full, rosy lips.30

31

His lover.32

33

I didn’t have time to even BEGIN contemplating all the things that could possibly mean, because Adrien told me.34

35

“There were... screams.
Moans, really.
And not the soulless sounds of nightmares, either.
There was a quality to them I had never heard before.
More... pain, than fear.36

After freezing for a moment,
I walked down the hallway
and peered through
the open space in the blinds.
My view was hardly exceptional,
but what I saw was enough
to force me to enter the room.”37

“What did you see?”
I asked, my voice hushed with the severity of the story.38

39

“Etienne... My Etienne.” 40

Wistfulness fell across his face like a kind of shadow, softening the harsh, blinding light of what he had to say. 41

“ Etienne was... so beautiful that
the gods must have been jealous.
Hair like sunshine kissed wheat, and eyes...
God, his eyes.
More like freshly refined gold
than hazel,
and the way they glinted in the sunlight
could cause you to stop dead in your tracks.
Plush lips just begging
to be kissed,
and a lithe, lanky frame
like some adolescent athlete with something to prove. 42

You must understand, cherie, that this...
monster I saw in that room,
this was not my Etienne.43

MY Etienne was kindly.
Devoted does not even begin
to describe how involved he was
in things at the centre.
He often spent long hours
with his students and patients,
soothing them from whatever creatures haunted them
in the hours of the night.
I spent many moments
between late nights
and early mornings
holding his warm, nude body as he cried,
his bleeding heart ripped open
by the horrors he’d seen at work.44

45

So, of course,
it was no surprise
to see him in Adam’s room. 46

...No, the surprise came when I realized he was nude...47

And atop Adam."48

I gasped. I couldn’t help myself! To walk in on someone in whose hands you laid your heart violating a bloody child – I was surprised he had words to describe it, even now.49

50

“Oui, ma petite.
He was forcing himself
into Adam’s frail, slight frame,
with enough force that the bed was
skidding across the linoleum.
I looked down
and saw the fear in Adam’s eyes,
and knew that something must be done.
After that, things happened... so fast.”51

Without thinking, I reached out and took Adrien’s hands in my own.
“You don’t have to tell me anymore if you don’t wish to, Adrien.”52

He smiled gratefully.53

54

“It is not a question of what I wish, petite.
There are many, many things I wish,
None of which can be redeemed.
Besides -
You can never trust me if I am not honest with you, non?
But if I am frightening you, I will stop.” 55

A short, empty laugh fell out under the guise of a sigh.56

57

“I’m not going anywhere,
and I’ve got all night.
Take as long as you need.”58

He nodded, taking a deep, shuddering breathe before continuing.59

60

I grabbed him under the arms and pulled him from Adam, continuing to pull until he fell to the floor.61

He had the audacity to look discontent, glaring at me and moving to cover his nakedness.62

63

"Merde, Etienne.64

Is this what the human race has been reduced to?
Forcing itself
and its desires
on unimposing children
who are already suffering
more than we will ever know?"65

He moved closer, eyes imploring.66

67

"No, Adrien, you do not understand!
I was not forcing myself on him,
I was showing him how adults love.
How together,
two people can reach the heavens
and leave all the troubles of this mortal reality
behind."68

“Beautiful words for a rapist.”
I broke in, rolling my eyes.69

70

“My thoughts precisely.”
He agreed, grinning softly.71

72

‘...Is that what you call love?
Mon dieu, Etienne, he’s bleeding.
Can you say that
this blood
and the tears
falling from his eyes are love?
Because I cannot.
I call it fear.’73

‘You must understand, Adrien.
Things have been so hard lately,
and when he started to cry,
I could not help myself.’74

‘Oh, but you COULD help yourself, Etienne.
You helped yourself to his innocent flesh,
with not a THOUGHT
as to what this
would do
to him.
You disgust me.’75

He reached for me then, pleading.
“Adrien, do not say such things! I love you.”76

At that moment, I broke.77

78

I swung,
and my knuckles connected
with his jaw in a satisfying
C R U N C H.
So satisfying, in fact,
that I swung again.
And again.79

80

When I finally stopped,
Etienne’s beautiful face
was a swollen, bloody mess.
And yet, his angelic features
showed through
just enough to give him
the look of a fallen angel,
wronged by a higher being.81

82


Eti laughed, touching his face.
"This doesn’t have to change anything, Adri.
We can just... pretend it did not happen.
Nobody has to know!”83

I crossed the room to the medical tray,
filled with syringes of medicines
you and I both know like
the backs of our own hands,
used to sedate the patients whose nightmares
were most severe.
I reached not for a syringe, but for the small scalpel
lying beside them.84

85

I walked back to Etienne and kneeled beside him where he lay on the floor, making a mess of the freshly janitored surface. 86

As I held up the scalpel, I leaned close to his face and spoke. 87

“Adam knows, Etienne.
And no matter how he tries
for the rest of his life,
that knowledge
will not
escape him.”88

I looked to Adam, where he lay on the bed, in pain and fear.89

90

“Apologize to him, Etienne.”91

"I will not apologize for giving him such a beautiful gift.
It may hurt now, but later he will thank me.”92

The scalpel glinted in the dim, off white lighting
as I brought it down,
nicking his already abraded skin.93

94

“You will apologize, Etienne.
We will stay here all night if we must,
but you will apologize
for the trauma you have caused him.”95

“I have caused him no more trauma than I did the last ti--!”96

He cut himself off, but not before I could understand what he meant.97

98

“...Last time?
Exactly how many times
has this happened?”99

He remained silent, looking up at me as if he knew not what I spoke of.100


I nicked him again on his pretty face, hard enough to draw blood. He winced, hissing.101

102

“Surely you recognize this, Etienne.
You must know the clinical, almost...
surgical proficiency this blade possesses,
yes?”103

Etienne nodded, looking afraid.104

105


“Good.
Because everytime you do not tell me
what I want to know,
I am going to cut you.
You will be hurt, and you.
Will.
Bleed. 106

Comprenez?”107

“...Oui.”108


“Now. How many times has this happened?”109

“...Once. “110

I cut him.
Deep enough that the blood would not stop,
but I did not care.111

112

“Lying is just another way
to avoid telling me
what I want to know.
How.
Many.
Times?”113


“... Six or seven.”114

I pushed my anger down,
knowing that I needed all the information I could get.115

116

“Why didn’t Adam tell?”117

“I told him he’d be sent back to live with his parents if he did.”118

“Why Adam?”119

“He was least likely to rat me out."120

“Are you at ALL remorseful about it?”121

“No, I did nothing wrong. Besides being caught, that is.”122

He smirked at me, and in that moment, I knew what had to be done.123

I stood and walked to Adam's bed, kissing the top of his head and ruffling his hair.124

"I am going to make you sleep, petit.
In the morning,
this will all be over.
Do you trust me?"125

He looked up at me with those big, frightened brown eyes of his,
darting back between myself,
Etienne,
and the scalpel I'd left beside Etienne.
After an eternity of a moment,
He nodded.126

"Bon."127

I picked a syringe of morphine up
from the nearby tray
and injected some into his portable IV-
just enough to make him sleep.128

"You know how good you have gotten at counting, yes?"129

He nodded, still somewhat frozen in fear.130

"Count to ten, little knight,
and this will all be like a bad dream."131

132

133

Once Adam was asleep and no longer being forced to bear witness, I crossed the threshhold to Etienne, lifted one of his hands, and slashed his wrist.134

135

He stared at me with wide eyes, trying to move away. I straddled him, holding him in place as I cut the other one. I waited until he stopped fighting, limp, and stood.136

Back across the room to the silver tray, and in a flash, I was back at the side of my former lover. In my short absence, he’d made the mistake of attemping to crawl toward the door. I stopped him, showing him what I held in my hand. 137

His heart barely had time to race in fear before I plunged the needle of the syringe into his wrist. The light in his eyes began to dull even as air pushed much too much morphine into his bloodstream.138


“Whether you’ll die or not, I do not know. Either way, this will be the very last time that you ever hurt another child, Etienne. Au revoir.”139

I went to the bed, picked up Adam, and carried him out to the infirmary.140


That was the last time I ever saw Etienne.”141

142

For several moments, neither of us spoke – each trapped in our own thoughts, looking anywhere but at each other. Finally, Adrien stood, smiling fakely.143

“Ah, ma cherie! While the night is young, I do believe I should be getting you home, as was our agreement.” He held out his hand to me, and I took it. I didn’t realize it then, but he must’ve known where I lived – the entire walk to my flat was comfortably silent, yet he led me home, as if it was a trail he’d walked several hundred times before.144

When we at last stood before my front door, bathed in the light of the porch lamp, he smiled softly. “Safe and sound, ma cherie – just as I promised.” I grinned in return, as I was now totally incapable of speaking, now that my eyes had met the full force of his beauty in the dull light. He brushed a stray lock of hair from my eyes and smiled.145

“I’ll be seeing you...” 146

And as I tried to unmuddle my mind and undo the spell he seemed to have cast on me, he disappeared into the night, like some kind of shooting star.147

I turned my key in the lock, taking a deep breath as I stepped into the cool quiet of the flat I share with my twin sister, Imogen. Of course, She was still awake – perched before her laptop, most likely talking to our mutual friends on the rare occasion that she had no school, volunteer, or homework to complete or attend to the next day.148

Pulling her brilliantly green headphones from her head (a pair that exactly mirrored my own, of course), she grinned up at me from where she sat on the floor in the corner. Upon seeing my face, however, she paused, pushing her laptop aside and moving to get up. 149

“Cap? What’s wrong?”150

Shaking my head, I pulled my bag up and off of me, dropping it to the ground. I thought for a few seconds before I answered.151

“You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had, Imogen.
One ration of shite after another, I swear.”152

My sister nodded empathetically, pointing to the clock above the door. 153

“I’m guessing it has something to do
with the reason you’re home so late?” 154

Her aim directed my gaze, and I gasped in spite of myself. It was 2 AM. As in, two in the morning. As in, 4 hours past when I meant to come home. Being with Adrien was like... being in some weird dimension where time ceased – but it, in fact, seemed to have sped up.155

“Yeah, I guess I must have just lost track of time.” 156

I said quickly, picking up my things, so hastily dropped. 157

“As a matter of fact,
I think I’m just gonna go to bed,
I ought to try and get a few hours’ sleep
before we head into the hospital.” 158

I all but booked it to my room, where I locked the door behind me and did my level best to remember how to breathe as I recalled the events of the night. Adrien couldn’t be real. He was too calm, too beautiful, too dazzling, to exist outside the pages of some 19th century romance novel.159

And yet, there he was. Like some New Orleans vampire with qualms about sinking his teeth into some pretty human’s neck, he almost floated on the air of confidence he stood on; but there was some... tenderness in his earthy eyes, hidden behind the quiet arrogance that comes with time and intelligence, and the refrains of his haunted past.160

Even in the dark and the silence of my room, the sanctity I normally felt behind my door was disturbed by the memory of him. I could almost smell the faint, bitter scent of his cigarettes – the unimposing, quiet fruitiness of the cherries, and then the spiciness of the cloves cracked against my sinuses like the carbonation from an icy glass of pop. Almost like... like he was still beside me, the wind first brushing past him, and then downwind to wrap around me.161

But that was irrelevant, to be honest. I have this... habit, you see, of falling for every mysterious stranger who shares a little bit of his mystery with me. By that point, I had, in fact, fallen for enough mysterious men to know that it was a freak accident – a hailstorm in San Diego, a blue moon type of occurrence which only happened because Adrien had felt a little loose-lipped. Another glorious, 1 in million act – never to occur again.162

163

...Or so I thought.164

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