The dark fairies never truly had an opportunity to fight to the normal fairies until a prophet from the land of apes, which is what they called our world, came to them and offered his services. The dark fairies were tempted to torture him and make him spit out blood til he had none left within him. The strongest of them, Lucius, tried to 2
kill him using an black magic spell that made a human’s body start to bleed all over, but the human prophet simply laughed at the dark fairy’s attempt to kill him. The prophet looked Lucius in the eyes and said “I could kill all of you if I wanted, but you serve some purpose for me and I wish to help you exact your revenge on those banished you from their beautiful kingdom. At dawn of the third day of battle, I will help whoever is alive.” He began to look throughout the crowd and saw their disbelief at his obvious insults. So five dark fairies decided to kill him for his insult, but as they barely began to move, the prophet looked at all of them at once and each of the five’s heads were split open. The dark fairies were in awe of his immense power and began to quake with fear, but as that happened all of the dark fairies bowed before him as their master even though most of them hated bowing to anyone especially Lucius, but he knew that the revenge would be well worth it.3
Meanwhile, On the beautiful side of the Great Forest that the fairies lived on, a new baby girl was born in the Forest Dwelling City on one of the tallest and most secure buildings, which had a tree on the top floor that each pregnant women would go on to give birth and rest for five days after the birth. The mother laid on a magical branch that all fairies had their children on while her husband flew up next to her. The mother who had given birth only a few hours ago held a baby girl in her arms tightly while the baby’s father began to look in awe at what they had created and at how beautiful their baby girl looked in the beautiful night sky of the Great Forest. The father flew closer to his wife and their baby and asked his wife, “What do you think we she name her, honey? I was thinking of Kiera, Lana, or maybe even the name that your father thought of?” His wife looked into the eyes of her husband who stared at both them with wonder and love and quietly said, “Are you sure it’d be okay to give her the name my father wanted for her?” He simply responded by rubbing her back and saying “Whatever you want is perfectly fine with me. I thought that, that was a beautiful name.” The wife smiled and looked into the eyes of her newborn who looked around in wonder and awe, “Your father and I love you for all eternity, Antinnia...my little Anne.” 4
The next morning was when the dark fairies attacked, but the normal fairies’ magic was a mixture of light and dark, yet the dark wasn’t as strong as the dark fairies. The battle raged on with magic, swords, and bow and arrows. The constant fighting began to show on the city after a day and after two days they had entered the Forest Dwelling City and began burning buildings. But on the second day, most of the dark fairies had been killed because of the power of the Five Great Fairies yet about half of the fairies in the city had died along with the city that was still burning and nothing could be done fast enough to stop it from burning. Only the hospital remained in one piece. In that hospital rested baby Anne and her mother who was worried sick about her husband. As she thought all hope was lost, her husband walked through the door and everything seemed perfect on that night.5
It was nearing the third day by the minute as Lucius and three of his comrades fought through the city with fairies following them everywhere. They ran through the city trying to kill as many people as possible because Lucius knew that the Five Great Fairies would come soon and They would end his miserable existence. As that thought came to his mind, the five great fairies appeared in mid-air and used their tremendous wings to knock Lucius’ three comrades into a nearby wall which crushed them to death, but Lucius was too strong to die that easily. Then he heard a bell ring and as that happened the prophet appeared as if out of nowhere and suddenly all of the fairies that were following him except for the Five Great Faires were now dead. One of the great fairies looked shocked to see the mysterious prophet and screamed in anger, “Why would you betray us? After all we’ve done for you. Don’t you remember the days when we fought side by side to bring about a new world...a better world.” Another one of the great fairies stopped his comrade from speaking, “Remember, Aiel, I told you the rumors were true that he betrayed everything that he believed in.” 6
The prophet only smiled maliciously at them and said with a such overconfidence, “When do you wish for me to take you out of your misery. I made a deal with the young dark fairy and its time to honor that deal with your deaths. The three great fairies who hadn’t spoken yet quickly formed a triangle around the prophet and began speaking in an ancient incantation and suddenly the prophet couldn’t move a single muscle in his body. Then Lucius realized that he couldn’t move either because of how close he was to the magical spell and that his body was decaying and his flesh was peeling off his body, which made him begin to scream in agony. Soon he was no more then some pieces of flesh and bone, yet he was still alive. Before his eyes fell inward he saw the prophet who still hadn’t been affected by the incantation. The three kept saying the incantations, but suddenly the prophet was able to speak and started saying his own incantation which shocked all of the Great Fairies. Then suddenly the three great fairies’ eyes started bleeding and internally combusted as their tongues shriveled up. The three were no longer able to speak and the prophet turned around and looked at all of them with a malicious laugh. But then Aiel began saying an incantation and the prophet looked directly into Aiel’s eyes, but nothing happened.7
Then the prophet turned away from Aiel and looked at the last of the dark fairies who was nothing more than a bunch of bones with some rotting flesh on him yet his brain was still intact, so the prophet put a spell on him which let him live without pain and gave him eternally life plus it enhanced his black magic. It was known as the Reaper’s spell which was a forbidden spell for all who had studied any form of black magic. Lucius was suddenly able to see what had happened to those who had taken him from his fleshy form. He became furious at the prophet for not killing all five of them and the rest of the village. The prophet waved his arm and pushed Lucius away and to his surprise Lucius was still in one piece. His boney form was much stronger than he thought it would be. The prophet looked up at Aiel who was still in the air and said sternly, “Leave...and take as many with you as possible or I will kill all of you. You have five minutes, but for now I will go to the hospital and kill every in their one by one and trust me I am being very gracious...and as my last act as your old friend and comrade...I want you to trust me that this was the best possible path since I know both of you realize how powerful I truly am...for you are the ones helped me become a god. 8
A person in a black hooded robe with a black scythe entered the hospital and took his hood off to reveal that he had no skin on his head except for a few pieces of flesh that swished from side to side. He opened his mouth and hundreds of skeleton heads came out of his mouth and quickly swept through the first floor and took the head of every living creature. He walked up to the second floor as a bunch of fairies tried to hit him or use magic on him, so he decided to test out his new strength and stood there taking everything they had without a scratch on him and laughed like a shrieking banshee but as he did everyone who was in a thirty foot radius of him exploded. A few people who weren’t that close began to stumble backwards as they screamed in terror. The new Lucius walked closer to one of them and simply let out the black wings on his back to inspire more fear into the people while speaking in his ghoulish voice, “I am the god of all death...I am the Reaper and all who stand before me shall die!”9
On the 30th floor of the hospital, Anne’s mother held on to her tightly as her father walked into the hallway to look around for the man who had been bringing death to everyone in the building since he could already hear the screams of the people on the floor below. Then without warning a shriek went through the hall and took his head clear off his body. Anne’s mother screamed as she saw the grim reaper walk closer to the tree and flew up to the tree and smiled maliciously at Anne and her mother. Her mother in a last desperate attempt to save her baby begged the reaper to spare her life as her baby began to cry more and more. Looking at her with malicious intent, he grabbed her head and her body slowly started to decay. He was about to touch the baby, but the prophet came in and heard the baby and said, “I’ll kill her myself...I hate babies.” But as he stood there on the floor with the tree above him, he saw that it was a baby girl and thought to himself, “Sarah...” He jumped up twenty-five feet and grabbed the baby and took a closer look at her. He landed on his feet with a loud thud. Then the mother, who looked as if she was about 130 years old, weakly said to her baby girl, “Anne...” And then she became as thin as could be like a withering plant and died while turning to dust. The Reaper flew down to the prophet and looked at him with a surprised look on his face and in his ghastly voice asked, “So you want to raise her?” The prophet looked at him and said, “Yes, as if she were my own daughter.” As he said that, the prophet thought of one name that meant so much to him, “Sarah.”10
Author notes
These stories are dark and violent because these are what the bad guys from my story are like...I wanted to make the bad guys really evil because I wanted to show a certain type of symbolism between the good guys and the bad guys, since some of the good guys are just like you and me except some of them have had a VERY difficult life while others haven't...but these good guys come to together cause they see what these bad guys do and feel that they have to fight. I want the reader to truly hate some of these characters and feel for the people who these characters terrorize...so overall I'm not just writing mindless violence and this is one of the best examples in my opinion.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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I wanted it to do that...to make the reader become more interested in it. But I'll make sure not to do it as much as I did in this one
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I got him mixed up with another character, honestly. And I could tell that there was more to him, especially with the ending, but it just wasn't shown that much. It confused me at the end, like what was his connection with this girl, and who was Sarah? I understand that some stories have mysteries and such, but this just threw the story out of the rythem it had.
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thanks for your honest critque...I thought this one disappointed me for a good reason...I thought it was good...but not anywhere near as good as anyother story...But your right, I didn't go indepth with the characters enough. Yet, I think your only wrong about one character...the prophet...he had more depth to him...he may have been a stone cold killer but he also had some stuff that I personally thought made him good. So, thats the onyl part that I disagree with you on
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Honestly, this wasn't a very good quality story. For a couple things, you said "beautiful" and "faery" alltogether too many times. The descriptions were monotonous and all sounded the same.
The characters had no depth, and the evil was just evil, where the good was just good. People are people, too. The idea of dark faeries and light faeries is as old as time. The dark faeries are not evil, nor are the light faeries good. There is "evil" and "good" in both sides. The problem I had with your evil and good, is that both were too shallow. Besides not knowing half the time who the characters were or what was going on, I was dissapointed to see both sides represented so poorly.
You have potential as a writer. Where your descriptions were mediocre, they had some good ideas that one could expand on if they really thought about it. Truthfully, the people who would like a story like this are ones who like the basic, steryotypical, good vs. evil story. Most serious writers like to read and practice something more, something that would challenge them and expand their thinking, their talents.
You may ask why I clicked and read this story. Well, the name intrigued me, as did the summary/lines. I do love the forest, and the Fae. I wish you luck in growing in your writing skills.
-Arias' Son -
COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Wow. This was entirely awesome. I haven't read a good fairy/faerie story in a while. If ever. But this, this was amazing. I love good and evil battles, and this was really original. Keep it up.


