An ordinary day (II) – Performance

What? I know, I know you will ask: Another ordinary day? 1

Again almost at the same time, seven in the morning. Same sleepy morning face in the mirror. Same coffee.2

I prepared my clothes last night. Business clothes.  Do not like to do that at the last minute.3

I tried to do the best for myself. I think. At least, I took from the shelf my first morning smile. Few drops of scent – wild cherry between my breasts – little bitter, little sweet. Well, I do prefer freesia, but I cannot find it lately.4

Again bus. Oh no. My car is ok, but my dear husband, who has ten minutes walking to the job, needs it.  I have 40 minutes with bus. No more comments. 5

In the bus a few familiar faces…Good morning…good morning…How are you? I am pretty good. Thank you. How are you? …Oh, yes, it is nice day… Boring, but polite conversation.6

I found a free place and sat down. What was that on my mind?  First traffic jam passed. 7

My office. Sun on the floor next to my desk. I can feel its warmth. Now, I need a new smile. I make a change. Took my business smile from the shelf…8

The day was not too interesting. Few visitors, few phone calls. Walking during the lunch,…I am not hungry. What was that on my mind? 9

Zrinjevac. Great place. Great park. 10

Afternoon. Returning home. Again, bus station. 11

Home. Without smile. I change my clothes to old comfortable dress and apron.  Took some food like a bird.12

Again my kitchen and smell of dirty dishes and liquid soap on my hands. Lock of hair over my eyes. I 13

blew it off. 14

Then new papers for new bulletin and pc.15

At seven, I had to be on the stage. Another performance. Took my clothes for that special occasion, combed my hair and tied it up. 16

Black skirt, black blouse. Too dark? Hm… Let me see… I need something red.17

Brushed my teeth. Do I need a new toothbrush? 18

Light make up. Brown mascara, autumn color on my upper lids, green shadows on lower…dark tights…Again few drops of scent. I am almost ready. Oh, yes, and another smile from the shelf. Smile just for performance.19

Many people. Full auditory. Light. Blink. Dark. Another light. Soft music from piano in background. What was that on my mind? Concentrate, Sonja…Concentrate…20

- Good evening. (Smile)  I am glad to see you again. I am here to promote to you our new book…21

Blah, blah.blah…..22

From the dark, I felt a gaze on my legs.  Mine was nowhere, behind the last seats.23

Then, when everybody has gone, I saw somebody next to me. An old friend, Marijana.24

- Hey!25

- Hey to you!26

Then, those questions…27

- Are you in love?28

- Me? Why? No, I am not.29

- Please take off this silly smile from your face.30

- My… What???31

In a hurry, I took it off and put in my pocket, next to my heart. What was that on my mind? Where did those smiles come from? 32

Then, I shared the last glass of champagne with thoughts about you, stranger.33

Then went home.34