I blinked my eyes a few times trying to get used to the sunlight comming throught the curtains. The alarm was blarring from the stand on the left of my bed. As I looked at the time I knew I was going to be late. If there was ever a time I was early for school it would be a miracle. 1
I rushed out of bed tossing my sheets to the floor. I had no time to pick them up and I know as soon as I'm home I'll get yelled at. My parents loved an extremely clean house.2
Well my mom did anyway. My dad could care less about the house he just did whatever my mom said to keep her happy. He was perfectly fine sitting at work all day every day. He was an extreme work-aholic. 3
My older siblings didn't care much but they kept the house mom standard clean. My sister was perfect in my mom's eyes everything was always neat and tidy. Her homework always done on time and she did cheerleading my moms favorite sport. My brother was perfect in both my parents eyes. Between keeping everything clean, doing extra work, getting straight A's, and playing quarterback for the school football team. Sure he was perfect.4
I on the other hand get straight C's, don't care about cleanliness, hate cheerleading and football. I also speak my mind which gets me in trouble with my parents and a few detentions at school.5
I quickly get changed and run downstairs. I have no time for breakfast so I grab my keys off the stand. I hop into my red 2 seater convertable, and take off. 6
The final bell goes off as I pull in. As quick as I'm in I decide to pull out and ditch school again. My phone rings as I begin to pull out and I stop half in and half out of the parking space. The call is unknown but I answer anyway. "Hello, this is Terra may I ask whose calling?" 7
"Hey cutie-pants where are you? Obviously not in school or you wouldn't be ansering your phone. I skipped school today want to skip and come hang?" 8
I rolled my eyes this was so typical of him. "Where are you? This isn't your normal number? And yeah I was already planning to skip so sound fun!" 9
"I'm on the pay phone at a gas station. My cell got taken away last night. How about we meet at the trails I have many plans for today."10
I nod, "yes of course sounds fun. I'll meet you there in ten." I hang up and fix my makeup. Then call my principal. "Hello Mrs.Wash, this is Mrs.Smith. I just wanted to let you know Terra won't be atschool today. Thanks!" 11
I'm so glad that perfected my moms voice three years ago. As I pull into the parking lot I put on the biggest smile I can. Shaun is standing on the right of my car in his typical outfit, black jeans and a white t-shirt. 12
He is the greatest and worst guy you could ever meet. "Hey shaun so what did you want to do? Don't say sex or I will slap you and leave." 13
I glance toward the trail, it's lined with trees. The trees stand tall and breezy in the wind. There is no one round but us. 14
Shaun gives me this pouty face trying to change my mind. "Fine! You know you kinda suck." I smile and nod. Then his lips are hard against mine and my back is slammed against the car. I try to push him off but it's no use. He holds my arms back and switches the kiss from passionate to angry.15
I watch his moves till I can find his ability inside him. I begin to form the ability in my mind. Since there are certain people in the world who have abilities. I'm one of those people. I'm called a former. I can use others abilities and form them to my own. I don't use my ability often and therefore can't copy and hold another persons ability for long.16
Shaun has the ability to turn all his bones into metal. I form this ability in my mind. I feel my bones shatter and crack under the pressure of the metal taking over. I want to double over in pain if it wasn't for him holding me up. I let a scream out between the kisses. He dosn't seem to notice. The metal continues to get tighter. The metal surges through till there is no bone left.17
I see it from inside my mind. The straight metal up and down my spine, my legs, shoulders, and arms. I pull it from the most of my bones and shift to my hands. The metal builds up and I begin forming it around my blood and veins. The power feels amazing rushing through me. The whole process has taken about 20 seconds. 18
I smile as I push him off. Then I turn it into an angry look of hated. "What the heck. I did nothing to you. You can't keep taking all of your stupid anger out on me." 19
"I'm sorry." He grabs me and pulls me back into a gentle hug. "I'm sorry. I'm just mad at my family again. You know if I take it out on them life sucks even more." 20
"Whats going on now? Let me try to help you."21
"My fathers kicking me out. My mother is drinking herself to death still, and my sister is pregnant and considering suicide, seriously." 22
I fall speechless. I knew the problems he had. After all I had been going out with him for the past two years. His mom was an exteme alcholic and had gotten herself to the hospital many times because of it. His father was a military man who didn't care about his son what-so-ever. His father had only cared enough to talk to him when he needed something important done. His sister Sierra was like my sister perfect in both parents eye, (probally not anymore though). She and I used to be best friends doing everything together. She was always so nice. Then she started dating Chris, the schools bad boy, and everything changed. She had started dressing different,talking different, acting different, and avoiding me. I gave up on the friendship then but did still yslk to her once in awhile. 23
I haden't expected the last part about his sister, but it shouldn't have surprised me. "Shaun I'm so sorry. But that still dosn't give you the right to take it out on me. That hurts me you know. Do you want me to talk to Sierra for you?" I look up at him and watch him shake his head. 24
I know that its even worse than he wants to admit to me right now, so I quickly change the conversation. "Lets go walk the trail. I still need to show you my new dance that I'm doing for my competition in two weeks. Your coming right?" 25
He smiles and nods. Grabbing my hand we begin to walk the trail. The sweet scent of nature around us. I kinda walk and dance beside him. The Texas air is gentle. The smell of the close by deserts makes me smile.26
* * * *27
As I stand in front of my door, giving him a last good-bye kiss before I go inside. The door flys open into the pale blue entry. Shaun heads back to his ar and I make my way to my room.28
A not hangs on my shut door. It reads: Dear Terra, 29
Your mother and I are sick of your messy room. Your siblings keep everything perfect, why can't you. On the back o this note is a list of chores. Me and your mother are out for a couple hours. We will probally be home around 9. We want all the chores done or you'll be grounded.30
Love Dad. 31
P.S. Don't forget your still grounded from the t.v, games, and your cell!32
I roll my eyes. How could I ever forget, I'm grounded twenty-four seven around here. I think the only reason for getting me my phone in the first place was so they could have another thing to ground me from.33
I take the note off the door and flip it over. There are at least ten things on the list if not more. I'll never get them all done, plus homework, plus calling Shaun and getting to bed on time.34
I walk into my room deciding to start there. The light pink walls covered in my many Twilight posters greet me as I enter. There were 43 posters of just Twilight in my room. Seven random things from other movies. 35
The closet mirrors show my unmade bed and messy floor. I set my books down at my desk and get to work. Starting with music, blasting it all over the house.36
I work hard the whole night only stopping for thirty-minuets to eat and finish what little bit of homework I have left from a few days ago. When I finally finish all the chores I glance toward the clock. Two minuets to nine, perfect. 37
The door begins to creak open. My mother and father enter followed by my brother and sister who must have been at friends. I stop in the middle of the stairs and say a quick hello. 38
I turn my back about to finish going up to my room so I can go call Shaun when my fathers voice stops me. "Terra Jane, What is this. It looks like you did absolutely nothing all night. I gave you a list and told you to get it done. Just because of your stupid abilities you think you can disregard everything we say?"39
"They are not stupid abilities," I mumble to myself. "I did do all the chores you just pretend not to notice because you hate me." 40
"Honey we do to notice when you get stuff done, partly cause thats only once in awhile and very amazing. It dosn't look done tonight though. And we do not hate you, we may hate your attitude though."41
"Please if I was never born you would have the perfect life. After all the stupid twins are perfect you love them, and hate me. Face it it's the truth." 42
My older siblings walk past me up to their rooms. "Great job sis now your going to keep us all up with your arguments with dad." I roll my eyes at my sister and turn my eyes back to my father. 43
"Terr-berr we love you there no doubt to it. If you would just listen to me and your mother and help out once in awhile maybe join some extra curricular activties it would be nice." 44
I take a seat on the stairs knowing this conversation will last awhile, but not wanting to walk past my father to the couch. After all he may hide his anger right now while mom is standing next to him but the second it was just me and him alone in, say the living room I would be right next to dead. Which at this point may not be so bad. 45
"Terra how's about we go talk in the living room. That way your mom can go up to bed and get some sleep. She has a big day at work." 46
I start to shake my head no till his eyes begin to beat into me. I cringe as I finally answer, "Fine whatever you wish." I walk down the stairs past him and to the living room.47
My mom smiles as I pass. "Will you two be alright or do you need me to stay here." I shook my head no, while inside my head I was screaming please stay.48
My mom may not always like the things that I do but at least she has somewhat of a caring heart unlike my father. My father does whatever she says when she is around to keep her happy. The second she is out of the picture his two favorite things are working and beating the crap out of me. 49
I sit on the couch waiting for my father to enter and beging the torcher. "Hey Terra. You know what I love about the sound proof living room?"50
"The same thing you loved about it two days ago and every other time you drag me in her to right next to murder me." 51
"It dosn't let any sound in or OUT. Which means you can do your pathetic baby crys and whines and your mother will never know. First off though two things. One what did I ask you to do today that you didn't do?"52
"You asked me to clean the whole house which I did. And you asked me to be in my room when you walked in the door. Which is where I was going." 53
"Yes but you weren't there yet. Second what is the number one rule in this room? What happens if you break it?" 54
"Don't tell anyone not even mother what happened. If she sees a bruise tell her I fell or else you'll kill me."55
He smiles pleased that I can remember one thing. "Good girl." My heart begins to sink as he lays the first punch down into my stomach. I let out an umph but try to hold back the tears. I know if I cry it will only make the pain worse. 56
He begins to curse me out and scream, telling me I'm worthless. I try to block it out but it's almost no use. If he had an ability it would be nice. Then I could form it and protect myself. Then again if he had an ability he wouldn't have to hate me as much either.57
I feel him give one final kick into my chest then I black out. 58
* * * *59
Author notes
I want comments on how to improve. This is a really fun story idea I think and if I can get feedback to continue it that would be great! THANKS!!
A contest entry
- Hit Me With Your Best Shot by MusicOfTheNight9.
225 points, ended August 9, 116 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
How do you think it is?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
pretty good! thanks for entering! good luck!
Kudos,
CreaterSk8er
-
THATS HORRIBLE!
I cant say much, I've written stories similar. Good twist though! keep going -
Its great! The update goes much further into the abilities, and its amazing! great job!
-
its a great story, but spell check is in order!!!!!!! its a nice start but you should work on plot, go more in depth on the characters and there abilities. i know i have lots of questions. you should work on why they have the abilities, if the rest of their family does, wahts up with shaun screwy family, and maybe throw in a antagonist???? just sugerstions. great start. keep writing
peace,
k -
Whoops! I meant there's! I'm telling you to work on grammar and I'm making mistakes of my own! SORRY!
-
I agree with dreamcloud, it's a very good story,but it needs a little work. First off, theirs the grammar. I know, I know it shouldn't matter, but it takes away from the story. Also I agree with dreamcloud that you need to go WAY more in depth about Terra and Shaun's powers because I think that's supposed to be what the story is based on, but right now it just seems to be some unimportant thing she does like skipping school. Otherwise, I really think you're on to something. Great job and I hope you keep going
!
-rockin
-
I LOVE IT
I would further explain how she is forming his power in her head. Further describe what it feels like, or looks like to her. But other then that, its an amazing story, and has a great plot line. keep going!
1 - 7 of 7




