Lets make the world a better place

1

Lets be the one, Lets end our brawls,
Lets make the love to shine.
Lets cheer the people by our words,
And make them sweet as wine. 2


Lets make our fortune by our hands,
And break the gods of clay.
Lets be the beacon of lost ships,
And lead them to the way.3

4

Lets end the war, Promote the peace,
And make our values high.
Lets make the world a better place,
And make the evil shy. 5

Author notes

I hate wars and i hate all kind of fights etc etc etc.

I hope that the rest of the world is with me.

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 61 of 61

  • Scarlet Roses
    March 12
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    I like it and thier is a lt of passion in this good job and good luck


    -Judge Scarlet Roses


  • J.R.Coleman
    March 10
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    The last line ("shy" in particular) was very clever - and wasn't something that I would have thought of
    I don't know... this may sound bad, but I like evil. Without it, we couldn't appreciate the good things in life. Wow. I sound so cliched. ahahaha
    Good job and good luck.


  • nyre
    March 3

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    Hey,

    To be honest, I like “Let’s make the world a better place” more than “My House on Fire” you really have passion towards your work. Great write.

    The lines I loved:

    Let’s make our fortune by our hands,
    And break the gods of clay.
    Lets be the beacon of lost ships,
    And lead them to the way.

    The line I liked:

    Lets end the war, Promote the peace,
    And make our values high.
    Lets make the world a better place,
    And make the evil shy.

    And the line I disliked:

    Lets cheer the people by our words,
    “And make them sweet as wine.”

    I hate wine, how can wine help in world peace? Also as I have heard wine is nothing but intoxication it’s not sweet but actually bitter. “The bitter part is not I’m sure of.”

    P.s: Good Job on this, I want to read more of your work.
    Thanks. Cya.

  • livelaughwritex3
    February 17

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    Good!

    This is good! It flows and your rhyhme scheme is great! I didn't like the beginning: "lets be the one..." Just my opinion
    Great job and good luck!


  • Starlit Werewolf
    February 8

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    Amazing!

    This is awesome! I smiled when I read it! Hopefully people will want to make a difference when they read this!!


  • Minam
    February 1

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    brilliant!

    congrats on all the shinies - well deserved i think. good flow/rhyme and excellent message for us all


  • Bibliophile--
    January 16

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    Awesome!!!

    This is a very nice poem. Great as all of your stuff I've read before. I thing that Santa thingy was written after being inspired by this poem. Wasn't it? Anyways, good luck with your future writing. Hoping to see more of your great stuff.
    Bibliophile.


  • Kaitlyn Fairchild
    January 16

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    This was great, a short, yet sweet poem. I'm with you I hate wars and I wish they could end.
    My favourite line would have to be "And break the gods of clay.".
    Great poem, thank you for the entry and good luck.


  • AcroPhobia silver member
    January 1

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    Very well thought out, and ofcourse we are all with you. Finals fo-sure.

    Peace, will it ever come?

  • Cherry Ink
    December 31, 2009

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    I usually don't read poetry, but your poem got me hooked. You sure have something to say to a world that won't listen, sadly. I must say, you are a brilliant writer. Your words are deep and meaningful and we all have something to learn from them. Never stop writing! Speak your mind!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, ending: 5.


  • ForTheLoveOfBooks
    December 29, 2009

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    I loved it.
    I'm with you I hate fighting and wars all it brings is more wars and death.
    The message in your poem comes across loud and clear!
    Thanks for entering my contest and best of luck


  • twixzster
    December 27, 2009

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    Great Poem!!
    That's so true - don't we all wish this. *sigh* Very meaningful poem and easy on the ear too.
    You wrote it pretty well. The last verse was my favourite and the last line was awesome
    Wonderful job!!


  • Gauntletier
    December 27, 2009

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    Great work.

    This is nice, it's a fantasy any man or woman would dream of.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, ending: 5.


  • Mishele
    December 25, 2009

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    "and make the evil shy" LOVED IT!!!! really touching poem! yup i hate wars and terrorism too...and currently where i live...terrorism is at its maximum :S...really sad...i really enjoyed reading ure poem...good job! thanks for entering the contest!


  • ForgiveAndRemember gold member
    December 19, 2009
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    that was mad as

  • ForgiveAndRemember gold member
    December 19, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    that was mad as


  • Dr. Fudge
    December 19, 2009
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    Lovely, peaceful poem I have to say.


  • xXstarcatcherXx
    December 5, 2009

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    Wow, that is a really good poem! It was really heartfelt, and it sounded very nice when I read it aloud. Great job, and good luck in the contest!

    -Ellie

    Ps. Sorry it took me so long to read this.


  • ibravo silver member
    December 4, 2009

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    I love this poem, it's so peaceful
    I too wish the world was a better place
    Good job Farhan and good luck with the contests


  • MelissaluvzSheila silver member
    December 3, 2009

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    This was a very powerful and strong piece that you have written here.I really enjoyed reading this. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in the contest.


  • Water Warrior
    November 30, 2009

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    Wow

    That was a powerful, poem I really, truly enjoyed it! Good luck in my contest!


  • Serenity Blackheart
    November 15, 2009

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    Hmmm... I respect where you stand. Your poem is short, simple, and straight to the point. I don't mean simple in a bad way, it carries a deep meaning, but, it doesn't take someone with a PHD in literature to understand it. xD So, yes I do like it.
    Though, I can not always agree with it. I am all for peace, sign me up! but, there are wars for reasons. When a child dissobeys, does the mother not spank them so they learn the lesson. Does the child attempt to dissobey again? So is war. We're trying to make them give up whatever the heck the other people are doing wrong(like adolf hitler for example). Its just some children are more stubborn than others. But when it comes to doing unneccessary violence.... I'm with you all the way. ^^; Sorry. Just had to say that.
    Good job, and thanks for entering my contest. Best of luck!


    • Farhan
      November 15, 2009
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      Well, I agree with you but in this poem, I am asking everyone to end all the brawls and spread peace even they are terrorists. Anyways, thanks for everything.


  • E Ardania
    November 10, 2009
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    You've written a very strong poem that has a meaningful message embedded in it. I love this poem; it's not lengthy and you've managed to put your purpose in it easily. The language

    Minor issue that I have: [Lets] --> Let's. Apart from that bump I see nothing else to grumble about... your use of language devices are so smoothly done! o.o (Envy's showing...*sigh*)

    I love this poem beyond expression in words... and good luck in the contest!


    • Farhan
      November 15, 2009

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      Never got a notification saying you have commented. Thanks for pointing that out. I'll change it soon.


      • E Ardania
        November 15, 2009

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        Aww, it's probably because you get a hoard of comments that mine would be a teeny comment among the lot.


  • Onomarith
    November 6, 2009

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    I just realised I have not commented on it

    So, now I am commenting. The poem is very very good!


  • RinzuSusanRajan
    October 31, 2009

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    that's well done...especially the strong message going out to the people through this poem..

    the rhyming of every even line worked well..

    good luck


  • Te Kore gold member
    October 26, 2009

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    Hey.

    Firstly thanks for entering.
    The poem is short but sweet, full of meaning. I backs up my views as well. I hate violence and hate crime. I jsut don't see the point in it all.

    The language was simple meaning it was easy to understand, i'm not so great at poems so this really helped me to understand it.

    Thanks once again for entering, best of luck.

    Staci


  • KrazywithaK
    October 24, 2009

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    Though a very short poem, this had a lot of meaning behind it. I think you did a good job with this, and I agree peace is the best option. Although, I have to admit that I find the World Wars interesting to learn about, but very depressing and terrible. Overall, I liked it. Good job.
    ~Claire


  • Foxyn gold member
    October 23, 2009
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    I've already commented on this XD


  • lesbian-in-love
    October 12, 2009

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    This was really interesting and very enjoyable to read. I liked it. Thanks so much for entering and best of luck to you in the contest. Keep up the good work!

  • owlbookdreams
    October 11, 2009

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    Good work

    I think this was an interesting poem. I would imagine it more of as a chant-like song. Something that someone would sing at a rally. I like the rhyming. It makes it an easy and fun read. Anyways good job.


  • Freddy Bobness
    October 5, 2009

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    Im with ya! btw i love the poem!! good job!!! 25/25!!!! hehe

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • HeartOfGlass
    October 3, 2009

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    LETS!! This is more of what the world needs right now. But there probably won't be too many people like this. (As far as I know) most people come from broken homes, especially people at my school. I wish that more people felt this way!


  • MelissaluvzSheila silver member
    September 22, 2009
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    this was very good and very interesting. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in the contest !


  • Foxyn gold member
    September 20, 2009

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    this is wonderful - you should shove it in Bush's face, and maybe he should have regretted starting that war.


  • jkingmaker gold member
    September 19, 2009
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    Terrific piece..you have real talent.


  • whoudini
    September 17, 2009

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    sorry i commented on this already and I just could not click on it and not make another comment, and weird reading it again i really liked it and yes wars and personal ventettas are things i dislike in this society. Peace in any way or form is the best

    Thanks and once again i enjoyed this , it was short and to the point and the point was fully taken twice.


    • Farhan
      September 17, 2009
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      Well, why are you sorry? I am glad that you are reading it twice and commenting. You can comment as many times as you like. I love when i get comments.


  • lavanya
    September 17, 2009

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    wonderful poem Farhan ..very hopeful and positive...i simplly love portion of hope in side your words...well done and hey congrats fo rsilver..u deserve it.


  • ForestFaery
    September 16, 2009

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    that was very pretty and lovely to read thank you for entering.


  • zoralielda
    September 11, 2009

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    wow! I loved it! I just hope that everyone thinks like you!


  • Moral Manifest
    September 3, 2009

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    Awsome, the message conveyed here is deffinately heard. I don't think any1 would want to disagree with this poem.
    Personally my favourite line was
    "Lets be the beacon of lost ships,
    And lead them to the way."
    Just the imagry, symbolism and metaphor was brilliant!
    I think i speak for a lot of people when i say you are a very talented poet
    Howver the only small bit of critism i can say is the last line,
    "And make the evil shy."
    Its just the words "make the eveil shy", "shy" doesnt really work in this context, and i know there isn't many other words that would fit and rhyme with high but if you could some how fix that tiny little part this would be flawless


    • Farhan
      September 3, 2009
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      Thanks spazlle. I am glad you like it. And about shy, i wil consider it. Let me know if you have any suggestions.


  • WingsOfHope
    September 3, 2009

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    This is great! I loved it, the depth of it was excellently put, the words flowed off the page, or screen, i guess. anyway, great job!


  • Old Man Gibbson
    September 2, 2009

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    You're right,the more we fight,the more family members will die,it's pointless.They should just sign a treaty,but after the 911,i wouldn't think so.


  • rbruce silver member
    September 2, 2009

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    Love it my friend. War solves nothing at all. i am an older man now and would like to my world totally at peace with everyone, just once.


  • billiejeanismyname
    September 1, 2009
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    this is cool

    this is cool


  • MintAnimeAngel
    August 30, 2009

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    I'm with you

    Stop all the wars!! please!

    i hope the message reaches those who are fighting each other soon....... what do we want? WORLD PEACE! when do we want it? NOW AND FOREVER!!!!!

    so please, lets try and stop this violence. no-one needs to die for needless reasons....


  • Awais Ahmad
    August 30, 2009

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    Awesome. I mean The Idea was great. The Poetry was awesome. The flow was great. What else do u want. Its in the featured column.


  • whoudini
    August 30, 2009
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    yes hates war and , domestic fights too

    i think why cant we all get along and well you have a the majority of the people behind you on this , too


  • Aiman Ahmad
    August 27, 2009
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    its beautiful.im with you


  • QuietNightmare
    August 16, 2009
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    hmmmm.

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